Tuesday, April 28, 2009

IPL

Just when you thought the crooks organizers of the IPL had discovered every single way top advertise including Citi moment of success (Citi and success? Didn’t they get a bailout recently?) or DLF maximum (In this economy more like DLF minimum) they strike again. New modes of advertising include

- Whenever Tendulkar does his trademark crotch grab, commentators are to scream. Lux cozy yeh andar ki baat hain and sing Khujli karne waale B-Tex lagale.

- Whenever the camera pans to Sreeshant doing something silly- That moment will be brought to you by Kohinoor condoms, if his parents had used Kohinoor, none of this would have happened. Sreeshant is also brought to you by CRY.

- Every time a South African fast bowler playing for Vijay Mallya’s team is dismissed, that moment will be brought to you by Surf Excel…Excellent for removing Steyns.

- When we see Akash Chopra scratching around for his 6 runs, that moment those moments will be brought to you by Itch Guard.

- Jesse Ryder will be brought to you by Alcoholics Anonymous and VLCC slimming center.

- Symonds by the Department of Animal Husbandry, Dairying & Fisheries. Animal Husbandry? Isn’t that more of a Kiwi thing? They love their sheep you know, those Kiwis. Associate sponsors will be the Jane Goodall Institute for primate research.

- The fake IPL player brought to you by Subhash Chandra.

- Perennially excited commentators brought to you by Red Bull. (He ran it down to third-man and picked up a single!!!!!!! What a shot!!!!!!! You beauty!!!!!.)

- John Buchanan by National Institute of Mental Health and Neuro Sciences (NIMHANS)

- Muralitharan’s bowling action brought to you by the hot and spicy barelylegal.com

- Dada will be brought to you by The Shah of Iran’s fund for deposed leaders.

- Arbit loser kinds who will never get a game are brought to you by the Make a Wish foundation.

- If Steve Bucknor had been umpiring he'd have been brought to you by L.V Prasad Eye Institute.



Edit: All match fixing scandals brought to you by Satyam Computers, associate sponsors Maytas.

17 comments:

freeze-dried said...

ha ha ha I loves!

Australopithecus said...

thank you!

footloose said...

khatmal! kitta hasaate miyaan!

Adi said...

I can see it must have taken a lot of old monk to get this literary masterpiece finished :-)

Suku said...

This blog brought to you by ACME Timber Company, makers of high quality 'phattas' and Bru coffee, -when you are short of money share a refreshing 2 by 4.

Sheetal said...

hehe.
Are you taking requests? I want a sponsor for Vijay Mallya.

wabbster said...

ROFL!

Non-Sensei said...

LOL

Australopithecus said...

@footloose: thank you ji

Australopithecus said...

@ no old monks were harmed/consumed during the writing of this peice of codswallop.

Australopithecus said...

@Suku: hehehe

Australopithecus said...

vijay mallya also by NIMHANS and Toys are us ...more like toys are ours to throw out of the pram

Australopithecus said...

@wabster and NS: thank you thank you.

J. Alfred Prufrock said...

Owe jee var-ry good(duh) jee. Hore dasso!


J.A.P.

Cynic in Wonderland said...

buwahahah. graphic.

chutney said...

LOL @ kohinoor + sreesanth! I realllly hate that guy lol

Matty hayden - by Complan - he's a complan boy! :D

What's In A Name?! said...

This is hilarious!

Best is of Sreesanth..

//Sreeshant is also brought to you by CRY. - Priceless.