IPL

Just when you thought the crooks organizers of the IPL had discovered every single way top advertise including Citi moment of success (Citi and success? Didn’t they get a bailout recently?) or DLF maximum (In this economy more like DLF minimum) they strike again. New modes of advertising include

- Whenever Tendulkar does his trademark crotch grab, commentators are to scream. Lux cozy yeh andar ki baat hain and sing Khujli karne waale B-Tex lagale.

- Whenever the camera pans to Sreeshant doing something silly- That moment will be brought to you by Kohinoor condoms, if his parents had used Kohinoor, none of this would have happened. Sreeshant is also brought to you by CRY.

- Every time a South African fast bowler playing for Vijay Mallya’s team is dismissed, that moment will be brought to you by Surf Excel…Excellent for removing Steyns.

- When we see Akash Chopra scratching around for his 6 runs, that moment those moments will be brought to you by Itch Guard.

- Jesse Ryder will be brought to you by Alcoholics Anonymous and VLCC slimming center.

- Symonds by the Department of Animal Husbandry, Dairying & Fisheries. Animal Husbandry? Isn’t that more of a Kiwi thing? They love their sheep you know, those Kiwis. Associate sponsors will be the Jane Goodall Institute for primate research.

- The fake IPL player brought to you by Subhash Chandra.

- Perennially excited commentators brought to you by Red Bull. (He ran it down to third-man and picked up a single!!!!!!! What a shot!!!!!!! You beauty!!!!!.)

- John Buchanan by National Institute of Mental Health and Neuro Sciences (NIMHANS)

- Muralitharan’s bowling action brought to you by the hot and spicy barelylegal.com

- Dada will be brought to you by The Shah of Iran’s fund for deposed leaders.

- Arbit loser kinds who will never get a game are brought to you by the Make a Wish foundation.

- If Steve Bucknor had been umpiring he'd have been brought to you by L.V Prasad Eye Institute.

Edit: All match fixing scandals brought to you by Satyam Computers, associate sponsors Maytas.