tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55401712024-03-07T02:57:46.719-05:00Thus Spake Australopithecus.Man sprung from apes.I, however,didn't spring very far.Australopithecushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644009333086190964noreply@blogger.comBlogger957125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5540171.post-22869331428313262752015-01-19T06:48:00.000-05:002016-05-05T04:02:58.949-04:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">What is in a name, as<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_rose_by_any_other_name_would_smell_as_sweet" target="_blank">Christopher Marlowe said</a>. Well if you
are Frank Zappa's children (Moon Unit and Dweezil) apparently quite a lot.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Being officially<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><i>vela</i>, I have been following the<a href="http://www.bigbash.com.au/" target="_blank"><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Big Bash League</a>. While involved in
this perilous pursuit, I happened to be struck by the peculiarities of
nomenclature of sports teams.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">The names that the teams have, all sounds like standard sports
team names. For instance, let us consider Brisbane Heat. The team is , as
described, from Brisbane, and from vague memories of Class 7 geography and what
I from what I have seen on TV Heat adequately describes Brisbane in December.
However, they are languishing at the bottom of the heap at the time of writing
this, so they don't seem like very hot stuff. It must be noted that this team
is not to be confused with a basketball team from Miami.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">There is another
all purpose team name, that is found across sports. Hurricanes. The guilty team
here in the BBL is Hobart. Dear Hobart, if you really want to be thought of in
the same way as a natural disaster, why not name your team Hobart Tony Abbot?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Amongst the non BBL team names, the funniest Aussie cricket team
name has to go to the Victoria Bushrangers. Bushrangers? Seriously? Does
Victoria have an endemic pubic lice problem (the state -not Posh Spice)? It
sure sounds like that is what they are expertly hunting, pubic lice. The comedy
writes itself. Hussey is at the wicket, he is joined by Sidebottom who is a
bits an pieces player, he does a bit of lice, and a bit of puss like discharge.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Moving away from the antipodes, let us examine an issue that is
closer to home. The Indian Premier League (IPL).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Gentle reader; let
us delve into an issue that is extremely close to my heart. My hometown, Hyderabad. Hyderabad, like many other cities
in India has many serious problems. These include: lack of adequate municipal
water supply, over-exploitation of ground water, disappearing lakes, polluted
River Musi, ocular assault by pink banners, inadequate public transportation,
frequent strikes/ bandhs and worse still, a cricket team that goes by the name
Sunrisers Hyderabad. To my ear, the name sounds like a bunch of<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><s>chai </s>coffee waalas at a mid
size railway station trying to peddle their watered down instant coffee. This team
was formerly owned by Deccan Chronicle Holdings, Pvt Ltd. and was therefore
called the Deccan Chargers. That made the team sound formidable - didn't help
much with the performance however, except for that one season in South Africa
that fans longingly remember as the good old days. From San Diego to Hyderabad,
Chargers is a name that seems common.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Another IPL team
Royal Challengers Bangalore is named after...packaged drinking water, not
unlike for instance, the New York Red
Bulls, in the US Soccer League. Corporate sponsorship of teams does indeed lead
to interesting names. Another such example is the Thailand Tobacco Monopoly
Football club.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Further exploring the home of most sports league, let us stay in
the United States for a while, visa permitting.
The Cincinnati Bengals are an American Football team named after two
places. To rectify this situation and restore balance in the Universe, the
Philadelphia Phillies spring to the rescue, albeit in a different sport. Just
in case you missed where they were from, they tell you. Twice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Some college
mascots and teams are equally hilarious. The Rutgers University's Scarlet
Knights. When you say the name out loud, it sounds like the name of one of
those low budget soft porn movies that used to play in Lamba Theater in
Secunderabad. Something that beats that,
the baseball team at Long Beach State is nicknamed -<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://www.longbeachstate.com/sports/m-basebl/lbst-m-basebl-body.html" target="_blank">The Dirtbags</a>. Another such example of
low self esteem is the UC Santa Cruz -<a href="http://www.ucsc.edu/about/mascot.html" target="_blank">Banana Slugs</a>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">After all this, I
someday wish to make so much money, that I could buy a sports team - just so
that I could name them vulgarly. Sucks for the players and fans. But hey, at
least someone will get a laugh out of it (hint: me), and that is what is
important.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Australopithecushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644009333086190964noreply@blogger.com134tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5540171.post-825500282398278842015-01-09T02:01:00.003-05:002016-05-05T04:13:36.160-04:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">You uncultured louts! What are
you telling? Hain? Some Wright brothers invanted the airplane? Hain!! WRONG!!
Ten Thousand Times Wrong. Did you not know that Flying Machines were invanted
in ancient India? Then only Levis copied the concept and became world famous in
Jeanetic Engineering.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">A paper titled "Ancient
Indian Aviation Technology" was presented at the 102nd Indian Science
Congress by Capt. Anand J. Bodas, a pilot, and Ameya Jadhav, a lecturer. The
paper allegedly based on a treatise called the Vyamanika Shastra remains
unreleased due to unknown reasons. This shastra, was allegedly initially,
written back in by the sage Bharadwaj (not Vijay Bharadwaj, who can write
treatises on cricket balls launched into orbit off his bowling). In modern
times, this treatise was rediscovered through a cutting edge methods called
psychic channeling and automatic writing in the early part of the 20th century
by a chap called Subbaraya Sastry. Psychic channeling and automatic writing
sounds like how I wrote most of my end semester exams in undergrad.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">According to this
"document" ancient India not only had aeroplanes thousands of years
ago (7000 years they say), they also functioned as space shuttles and could fly
'not only' forwards 'but also' backwards. These planes had air-hostesses, some
of whom are still serving in our nation's official carrier, Air India. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">A schematic of one of the
flying machines is presented below (Source). As can be seen the diagram looks
like one of rejected cakes from Ace of Cakes or some such cake based "reality"
show like that. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Prior to the discovery of oil
in Arabia, ancient Indians did not have to worry about the price of Dubai Crude
and fluctuating dollar rates. Their aviation was fuelled by completely
indigenous and renewable sources - donkey piss. As can be seen, our ancient
ancestors were also leaders in renewable energy. One can almost see the ads in
the Employment News of that day and age. “Wanted - Renewable Energy Engineer.
Qualifications BTech/BE/ from reputed institutes, BSc in Agriculture and Life
sciences may also apply. Applicant must work well as a part of a team. Must be
an animal lover, must also not be an animal ‘lover’”. MBAs need not apply; we are not dealing with
bovine excreta here. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Apart from flying machines, the
session also dealt with such wonderful facts such as <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">1) MBA Degrees- Cows turning
everything they eat to 24 carat gold -perhaps that is why we initially
considered cows sacred, not so much holy as err..golden goose?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">2)Helmet on Mars- Apparently
there was a helmet found on Mars by NASA, which originated from our glorious
land during the Mahabharata war. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br /></span>
<o:p></o:p>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">One
hopes that future edition of the 'Science' Congress also bring forth such
important and unknown ideas and information from our pasts. Jai Hind.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/proxy/AVvXsEgBP2pSR0GQZdL-PxMMGT0SK9JMR8W5-eONceaouSLRt2vAPkaRvaZVMQN89YPyHIFshyphenhyphenPaa8y_G3c9evVuYE5sEytMmXz9ISfcPQyAseBytDccn_IIXk_-a0Qcbf5EQg3DDoTy0B_zrCR9g3d3gmxu8YVDT6Gn9ZJTT6tJOn2gyI44ZQ3tjq4Uiy4j7kIetVSdbVZ4qnFXgw=" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/84/Vaimanika_Shastra_Shakuna_illustration.jpg" height="320" width="227" /></a></div>
</div>
<!-- Blogger automated replacement: "https://images-blogger-opensocial.googleusercontent.com/gadgets/proxy?url=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2F8%2F84%2FVaimanika_Shastra_Shakuna_illustration.jpg&container=blogger&gadget=a&rewriteMime=image%2F*" with "https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/proxy/AVvXsEgBP2pSR0GQZdL-PxMMGT0SK9JMR8W5-eONceaouSLRt2vAPkaRvaZVMQN89YPyHIFshyphenhyphenPaa8y_G3c9evVuYE5sEytMmXz9ISfcPQyAseBytDccn_IIXk_-a0Qcbf5EQg3DDoTy0B_zrCR9g3d3gmxu8YVDT6Gn9ZJTT6tJOn2gyI44ZQ3tjq4Uiy4j7kIetVSdbVZ4qnFXgw=" -->Australopithecushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644009333086190964noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5540171.post-89121564051065663412015-01-08T12:55:00.000-05:002016-05-05T04:14:58.714-04:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
So there exists somewhere in the realms of cyberspace a facebook page that seeks to bring together those who used to blog on the rediffblogs platform. Rediffblogs! Damn! That was a while ago. It feels like a different epoch even. I could have evolved to a Homo- no I don't mean I have come out of the closet (and why, yes we still do tasteless gay jokes here).<br />
<br />
I was reminded of the fact that I still have this corner of cyberspace through which I can <s>irritate </s> reach out to <s>millions of </s> OK three other people. So here goes.<br />
<br />
Earlier this month Sushma Swaraj, India's External Affairs minister proposed that the Bhagwad Gita be declared the "Rashriya Granth". Well I guess that is fine, the Kiwis have their Hakka, I guess we too should have some noises to "shock and awe" our opponents on the playing fields of.... Oh wait, it isn't the Rashtriya Grunt? Hmm, a national book eh? At least it is better than Chetan Bhagat's writing, which the entire nation seems to love . What could be worse is C.B doing a reimagination of the Geeta, or better yet, rewrite the entire Mahabharat while he is at it and have a catchy title such as<br />
<br />
1) One night @the Lakshagriha<br />
2) 1/5 Wife<br />
3) 2 Estates<br />
4) Revolution 2020 BC (No Virat, not that kind of BC- and no Subramanian Swamy, I meant Virat Kohli and not Virat Hindu)<br />
5) The 99 Mistakes of my Wife (The life and times of Dhiritarashtra) (We also do casual misogyny here)<br />
<br />
Of course, here the Geetaupadesh would not happen in the middle of a battlefield but on top of some academic department, hostel or IT building where the character formerly known as Krishna, would be telling the character known as <s>Prince</s> Arjuna, the ways to pass the departmental viva exam, the next round of appraisals, or how to get with some hot chick. Best seller guaranteed! <br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Australopithecushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644009333086190964noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5540171.post-2498331898112176192014-05-07T06:20:00.000-04:002016-05-05T04:15:52.127-04:00Bachna e haseenon<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<br />
<br />
Bless me blogger for I have sinned. It has been 274 days since my last <strike>confession</strike> post. I keep forgetting that this place exists.<br />
<br />
Fine whatever I will probably say three Hail Mary's and push off.<br />
<br />
Speaking of Hail Mary's, I remember this poster I once saw in the loo of a bar in New Orleans.<br />
<br />
<b>The Gambler's Prayer.</b><br />
<br />
<i>Hail Mary full of grace</i><br />
<i>Give me a face card and an ace. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Anyhow. It is now time to reacquaint myself with my readership.<br />
<br />
Hello dear reader(s?). I come in peace. Hmm, on careful reflection that statement does not sound right. When read aloud, it makes it sound as if I am some sort of sexual deviant- masturbating into bags of frozen peas or something. I come in peas- that would make a regular...wait for it. <i>Mutter fucker</i> then?<br />
<br />
As a result of my prolonged absence, I have missed capitalizing on some amazing comedic moments happening in real life. From muffler wearing amateur politicians and professional coughers to THE interview- the one that empowered all our women and changed all the systems and fundamentals. From cricket and daughter enthusiasts to mass murders in Best Korea. Then there were the elections, brought to you by Viagla.<br />
<br />
Sigh. Too bad. You snooze, you lose. Here is hoping for more blogging in the following year.<br />
<br />
<br />
<i><br /></i></div>
Australopithecushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644009333086190964noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5540171.post-86377960081164797522013-08-06T10:06:00.002-04:002013-08-06T10:06:50.318-04:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<br />
Dear Mr Goswami,<br />
<br />
Who is Dineshan, and why does always want to know things?<br />
<br />
Insincerely,<br />
Australopithecus.</div>
Australopithecushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644009333086190964noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5540171.post-84728072259604390312012-10-06T00:34:00.002-04:002012-10-06T00:34:53.775-04:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Give me Liberty, or give me Basheerbagh.</div>
Australopithecushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644009333086190964noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5540171.post-51958156435179201062012-10-03T10:16:00.003-04:002012-10-03T10:16:37.381-04:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
No Virginia, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Of_Human_Bondage" target="_blank">Of Human Bondage</a> is not a prequel to Fifty Shades of Grey.</div>
Australopithecushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644009333086190964noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5540171.post-208798606195171242012-08-11T21:02:00.000-04:002012-08-11T21:08:57.055-04:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Apparently bathroom graffiti is not restricted to people like you and me... when I say you and me, I mean mostly me. Haven't we spoken about some of my descendants scribbling on walls <a href="http://khat-mal.blogspot.com/2012/06/title-at-end.html" target="_blank">before</a>? </div>
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Apparently this love of free artistic expression extended to people like George Gordon Byron, the 6th Baron Byron, better known simply as Lord Byron. </div>
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Now Byron, has to his credit some wonderfully lyrical poems, such as "<a href="http://www.bartleby.com/101/600.html/" target="_blank">She walks in Beauty</a>", one of my favorite poems. That is until ,I watched an episode of the always hilarious <a href="http://www.qi.com/" target="_blank">QI</a>. Which quoted Byron's writing on a lavatory wall.</div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">For a good stool</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></i></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><i>O Cloacina, Goddess of this place,<br />Look on thy suppliants with a smiling face.<br />Soft, yet cohesive let their offerings flow,<br />Not rashly swift nor insolently slow.</i></span>
</span><br />
<i style="background-color: #efefef; color: navy; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></i>
<i style="background-color: #efefef; color: navy; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></i>
<i style="background-color: #efefef; color: navy; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><a href="http://www.comedy.co.uk/guide/tv/qi/episodes/6/12/" target="_blank">Source</a></i><br />
<br />
<br /></div>Australopithecushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644009333086190964noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5540171.post-13098648004045273242012-07-27T16:52:00.002-04:002012-07-27T16:52:15.317-04:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
To compete with Google fiber, Apple Inc. has come out with a new product iSabgol. </div>Australopithecushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644009333086190964noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5540171.post-72371580922840815972012-06-16T02:17:00.000-04:002012-06-16T02:31:07.064-04:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Title at the end.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Back in the early part of the 20th century, they found these caves in Spain (kindly refer to previous posts about weather patterns therein), which had all kinds of paintings in them, no not gang tags...or well they could have been. You see, the graffiti on the walls of said caves in Peunte Viesgo in Spain, was quite ancient. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">These ancient vandals, my descendants, left quite a mark on many caves, proving the point to certain Fox "news" anchors that Western Europe has indeed been in the grip of Marxism ..like forever. To be <s>Franco</s> frank, that part of the world has indeed had issues with communism. Tearing ourselves away, from current day miscreants, to those no good descendants of mine. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Apart from drawings, these idiot miscreants, left hand prints all over the walls, and thereby perhaps fingerprints? It was time to call in the forensic specialists from CSI (no, not the church), who will then run the CC TV footage and enhance and rewind and do fancy camera tricks, until they can look back into the stone age. Remember my fellow Indians, for every door broken by Daya in CID, there is an ENHANCE done in CSI. While Daya can only break doors, these chaps with the A/V equipment can do so much more, they can take a grainy, low resolution black and white capture from a security camera from across the interstate. Said video is then enhanced to such a degree (MA.Gender Studies) that they can identify the killer, who is actually in a store 100 feet behind the camera. They simply "ENHANCED" the video to such an extent, that they could see </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">the reflection of said perpetrator in one of the many compound eyes of a mosquito on the other side of the interstate. So from this kind of careful analysis, it was concluded that the perps of this graffiti could actually be Neanderthals (<i>Homo neanderthalensis</i>). </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">(</span><a href="http://www.npr.org/2012/06/15/155009945/famous-cave-paintings-might-not-be-from-humans" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;" target="_blank">actual story here</a><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">). As is usual in these matters there is some disagreement, hell they can not even agree on giving the Neanderthals a name (see footnote *). I think Steve would do nicely. Some other researchers believe that it was indeed not <i>H. neanderthalensis</i>, but their distant relatives, and out forefathers <i>Homo sapiens. </i>Everyone has forefathers...I just knew one. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Neanderthals or sapiens, whoever was responsible, one thing is very clear and this is the main point. Homos were involved in interior decorating even 40,000 years ago. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The end.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Speaking of the "end", here is the title. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"How to piss gay people off"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">*NB: There exists some difference in literature as to the correct nomenclature for the Neanderthals. Commonly used are <i style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">Homo neanderthalensis, </i><i style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">Homo sapiens neanderthalensis, </i><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">or <i>Vasant dhoble. </i>I profusely apologize to the Neanderthals for that cheap joke<i>.</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 19px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><i>NB2: </i>It is also surprising, apparently because Neanderthals, have not been known to paint the town, red or any other colour. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 19px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">They were good boys, who ate curd rice and went to sleep early, They would also go with their mothers to the temples and fast on ekadashi.</span></div>
</div>Australopithecushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644009333086190964noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5540171.post-47287194632411057002012-06-06T21:57:00.004-04:002012-06-06T21:57:53.471-04:00Who's afraid?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
If I ever move to Virginia, I'd get a vanity licence plate reading Woolf!.<br />
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Virginia Woolf.</div>Australopithecushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644009333086190964noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5540171.post-55426006165076663422012-06-06T17:55:00.000-04:002012-06-06T17:55:20.724-04:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
"The other day, my bank complimented me on my financial acumen they told me that I had an outstanding balance."</div>Australopithecushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644009333086190964noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5540171.post-7067952580707659562012-05-19T21:42:00.000-04:002012-05-19T21:42:06.589-04:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://youtu.be/AUyKnEiv70Y" target="_blank">Ramblin' on my mind</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was reading a wikipedia page about this chap called <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaka_Joginder_Singh" target="_blank">Kaka Joginder Singh</a>. He was awesome in a strange way- I quote from his wikipedia page "
<b style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">Kaka Joginder Singh</b><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"> (1918 in </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gujranwala" style="background-color: white; background-image: none; color: #0b0080; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; text-align: -webkit-auto; text-decoration: none;" title="Gujranwala">Gujranwala</a><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"> - December 23, 1998 in </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bareilly" style="background-color: white; background-image: none; color: #0b0080; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; text-align: -webkit-auto; text-decoration: none;" title="Bareilly">Bareilly</a><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">) (alias </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dharti_Pakad" style="background-color: white; background-image: none; color: #0b0080; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; text-align: -webkit-auto; text-decoration: none;" title="Dharti Pakad">Dharti Pakad</a><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"> meaning "one who clings to the ground") was a textile owner who contested and lost over 300 elections in India".</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">Then something struck me, no, not a bored reader who was tired with all the crap I usually dish out. What struck me was as follows. I own and occasionally wear shirts and trousers and related items, hence, am I not a textile owner too? Me and I guess most of the world except perhaps the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sentinalese" target="_blank">Sentinelese</a> tribals or old Digambara monks. Did you miss the Digambara and read that as "Old Monk"? </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><br />On a completely unrelated note ; d</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">oes anyone else remember this show on Doordarshan from the late 80s- perhaps 1989 (CE. not BC.I am not that old, yet). ? It was about some kids that were stuck in the world of vegetables. The king of this healthy land was the Baingan Raja. How many of my fellow Hyderabadis suppressed a snicker there..or a 5 star, if you so prefer?. I digress, Baingan Raja ( and not Baigun ka raja) had a standing army, I wonder if mid management in the veggie army was by Corn...you see it already has the Colonels.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">Speaking of food, m</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">any non-desi people I meet here, especially Americans bring up food, for them, their only contact with Indian "culture" are Indian movies and food. Let us take food for instance,</span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 19px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">and they try to bond speaking of a chicken tikka masala they ate at the Indian restaurant nearby- which totally sucks fyi. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 19px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">F</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 19px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">ood is so much a part of cultural identity. What we eat, defines us in so many ways. Even what we do not eat tells you a lot . </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="line-height: 19px;">I have often wondered how food "back in the day" would have tasted. So many of the ingredients we take for granted in Indian cuisine today are not native to our land. Tamarind, for instance, ironically called <i>Tamarindus indica</i></span></span></span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19px;">; is native to Africa. Potatoes and Chillies are native to South America, as is corn. Tomatoes are an other South American export. I can't imagine how Indian food would taste without these. No tomato in rasam, rajma or in butter chicken would not be fun. I cannot imagine Andhra food without chilies.Of course with so many different people from all kinds of places visiting various regions there is another factor in culinary evolution. Once I am done with grad school, I think I should start reading more about this. For now however, I throw myself back into work. </span></span></span></div>Australopithecushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644009333086190964noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5540171.post-49535315129732486552012-04-16T08:45:00.001-04:002012-04-16T08:46:38.955-04:00Recycle.<br /><br /><br />The reign in Spain stays mainly in the plains, is that because the mountains are Basqueing in the sunshine?Australopithecushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644009333086190964noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5540171.post-42717692919226576062012-03-01T01:51:00.001-05:002012-03-01T01:53:52.531-05:00This piece fits nicely with the title of the blog don't you think?<br /><br />I present Pithecanthropus Erectus, originally by Charles Mingus.<br /><br /><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/yJV2uJ0_hgg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Australopithecushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644009333086190964noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5540171.post-16217310693626191732012-02-09T19:14:00.008-05:002012-02-09T19:40:20.846-05:00Filter Copy.<br /><br />Unless you live under a rock, or are not Indian, it will not come as a huge shock to learn that a lot of music in the Indian film industries is "inspired" from external, or even internal sources. One expects it from the usual suspects, the Anu Maliks the Bappi das and so on. One of my favorite songs from bachpan, you know back in the paleolithic era was Mehbooba Mehbooba from Sholay, it had nothing to do with Helen's "boobas"(Maha or otherwise) I assure you, we did not have TVs back then,well I never had a TV at any rate (3% APR)<br />Just in case you don't remember the song, here you go, from the good <s>pirates</s> folks on youtube. We have <br /><br /><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/6PCxTGZynpo" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br /><br />I was unpleasantly surprised when I came across this. <br /><br /><iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/4UJXgmPqAE4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br /><br />sound familiar.<br />Pancham da, how could you...from some chap named Demis Roussos. Sounds like some chick named Demi Rousso went to the same numerologist as Karan Johar or Suneil Shetty..Numerologist or whatever you call what do you call those chaps you visit (by you, I don't of course mean you specifically dear reader), then said <s>frauds</s> err honest gentlemen (don't sue me please I am broke) say change your spelling from Sunil Shetty to Zudatgdfndso Sdashadsedghtjjtsay. (pronounced Sunil Shetty) for good luck. <br /><br />So let us look into this song...ooh but wait, what is this coming over the horizon, could it be the 9th Cavalry charging in, to the rescue and all, or even Delhi Police?<br /><br /><iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/bkYEAiOjxvU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br /><br />Ha! Ha!<br /><br />Not it is not just Panchamda, in the immortal words of this elderly gentleman (Hyderabadis read as Chichcha) I once encountered "Yahan pe sob choraan hain".Australopithecushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644009333086190964noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5540171.post-26704611016930541122012-02-03T16:39:00.002-05:002012-02-03T16:45:36.552-05:00Lucy sent me a kindle this week. So much fun. I already have an e-book reader which is extremely temperamental, so this is a welcome gift. My first purchase, was of course, P.G.Wodehouse. This collection, has some of his less famous school stories.<br />Also, I realized how many free ebooks there are on Amazon. I found three books of Harry Graham's poems. I leave you with a couple of my old time favorites from him.<br /><br />Opportunity<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><br />When Mrs Gorm (Aunt Eloise)<br />was stung to death by savage bees<br />Her husband (Pebendary Gorm)<br />put on his veil, and took the swarm<br />He's publishing a book next May<br />on 'How to make bee-keeping pay'</span><br /><br />Tender-heartedness <br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><br />Billy, in one of his nice new sashes,<br />Fell in the fire and was burned to ashes;<br />Now, although the room grows chilly,<br />I haven't the heart to poke poor Billy.</span>Australopithecushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644009333086190964noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5540171.post-16074145976285612362012-02-01T22:10:00.002-05:002012-02-01T22:13:04.582-05:00Holy Crap, sometimes I am surprised by the kind of stuff I find on spotify.<br /><br /><br />Brace yourselves. I found a huge multi album collection of Altaf Raja! Including this gem Peelo Ishq di Whiskey (<a href="http://open.spotify.com/track/4sMVNe8H2Qz8Spxf0tmqW5">spotify link</a>)<br /><br />Excuse me while I go and stare into space.Australopithecushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644009333086190964noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5540171.post-30083356114411828282012-01-30T21:15:00.013-05:002012-01-31T00:22:14.247-05:00I came across a little post on facebook the other day, where some one was talking about writing a memoir about their days in graduate school.<br /><br />I wish I could write. I really do. I can't express myself well enough to convey the soul shattering and paralyzing loneliness, frustration, depression and not to mention sheer madness of grad school. It is a tragedy though, I used to enjoy it when I started out. I loved the challenge, I loved having to figure out stuff for myself. Little did I know that stuff I had to figure out for myself would be funding. I found it extremely difficult to try to figure out a totally new method of extraction and analysis with no guidance, all the while wondering how I'd manage to find money to eat the following semester. I realized, it is not possible to work at your best if you do not know literally where your next paycheque is coming from. I spent a few months agonizing over what I should do next. Then one day I was sitting in my car, drinking a medium coffee (with milk and sugar) from Dunkin Donuts and smoking a cigarette while staring across a fallow field. When suddenly I just said to myself "Fuck this! I can't do this anymore", and that was that. The day I decided to quit my PhD. was brilliant. To use a cliche "it felt as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders"..ok, just for you gentle reader I will come up with something completely different. you know when you drink a lot of beer and go on a road trip and are dying to piss really badly (read level: Tycho Brahe*) . In the worst possible way, you are forced to hold on because the next exit/ pit stop is like 20 miles away. Then when you finally get to the pit stop you see Mahesh Babu (<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DB7uo2is_P0">back story</a>) and then you go to the loo, you know how that feels? This was exactly like that, only mentally and no one was in danger of wetting themselves..only of committing homicide.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />*It was long thought that Brahe died because he was at a banquet and needed to pee really badly and could not get up as that would have been bad etiquette therefore developed complications and died. Recent studies however indicate that he may have died of mercury poisoning.Australopithecushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644009333086190964noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5540171.post-36378720102128140312011-10-31T16:00:00.004-04:002011-10-31T16:36:21.857-04:00<rant><br />You know what irritates me. <br />These forensic shows on TV. I mean. I love watching them, don't get me wrong. I mean I even have 3 seasons of Bones on DVD. Of course not, I am joking, I may have torrents but.<br />Anyhow the thing that bugs me the most is this . Investigators find unknown substance stuck to victims nose hair. 3 hours later techs have carried out "analysis" on the "GC-MS" and will tell you all kinds of things about this previously unknown substance such as its name, billing address, mother's maiden name and social security number.<br /><br />As someone who has had many sleepless nights developing a method for analysis using a GC-MS. It makes me want to curl up in a fetal position and cry. Here is a small note to those who write these shows.<br /><br />Dear fornicators. <br /><br />Do you even know how difficult it is to develop new methods of analysis for known compounds let alone unknown compounds. You could take 6 months varying all kinds of parameters to get the extraction, derivatization , GC-MS operating settings and all that just perfect, and you still will fuck up. There was this funny, charming and handsome researcher who was trying to develop a method to analyze an equally charming substance., who worked for six months on getting this right. He was getting decent recovery for samples of concentration 100 ng/L to 500 ng/L anything above and below..sorry not happening. And note, yes ng nano gram not fucking mg. <br />Plus very rarely will you find the same chappie in a lab coat that will carry out this analysis, be able to tell you that the maggots you found in the victim's rectum masturbated thrice daily after feeding on flesh(the maggots- not the chap in the <s>straitjacket</s> labcoat) and solve that unfinished theorem left on the murdered physicist's black board and hack into the NSA database all while juggling spent shell casings while bonking the hot waitress from the diner while playing MMORPGs . Scientists aren't supermen. Even if some of us think we are, and wear our underpants over our trousers. We can't do everything. Most of us can barely understand stuff that is out side our fields of specialization. What this does is make people ask us, "Hey! I found this packet of white powder in my house, can you put it in your 'GC-MS' and tell me what it is?". This causes us to have responses like "let me tell you what you can do with this powder, try dissolving it in some alcohol, if it dissolves, inject it into your veins. If you get high...proceed as normal. If you die, my problem is solved". I don't like orange jumpsuits very much.<br /><br />Thanks.<br /><br />Signed<br />Prisoner 56542<br />Rikers Island.<br /><br /></rant>Australopithecushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644009333086190964noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5540171.post-25007591574035366632011-10-31T10:57:00.000-04:002011-10-31T10:58:22.037-04:00The chap who killed Gandhi was a huge asshole, you know.. Nathuram Goatse.Australopithecushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644009333086190964noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5540171.post-44934708033497562472011-08-02T16:14:00.006-04:002011-08-03T00:36:40.284-04:00Right, those of you who know me offline know that I have been the victim of a receding hairline for quite sometime now. Now with economic times (or even mint) being as they are, the "recession" has only worsened. I decided to drastically change my hairstyle<br /><br />I've had it cut very close and have grown my beard. You know the law of conservation of hair: hair can neither be created nor destroyed, It just moves from your head to all over the rest of your body - anyhow not being a blog dedicated to the whys and wherefores of personal grooming let me proceed to the matter at hand. <br /><br />So yes the look I was aiming for is the excellent Bob Christo look. For those of you who do not know who the esteemed Mr Christo is, please <s>jump in a dry well</s> err no gentle reader please go now and pay homage to our new overlord..Google.<br /><br />When the long suffering love of my life, Lucy, took a look at the pictures I uploaded immediately after the haircut.She snorted...no not drugs, get your mind out of the crack house- It was just a normal PG rated snort. Speaking of crack, I used to think, when I was a kid, that a crack whore was a prostitute who was extremely good at what she did, you know like a "crack regiment" or something....I wonder how many crack regiments are posted in Afghanistan - oh wait cocaine doesn't come from poppy. Perhaps from mommy then?<br /><br />Would you call a person who only has butt sex for a financial consideration, a crack whore?<br /><br />Anywho, I digress. So Lucy was all like "<a href="http://www.jointscene.com/artists/Bollywood/Bob_Christo/9894#pictures">Bob Christo</a>. You can't even make <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rami_Reddy_%28actor%29">Rami Reddy</a> on a good day"<br /><br />Well I guess it is true for filmi henchmen, just as in any other profession. First you start small. Like being a sidekick to a small time eve teaser that harasses the hero's sister, then you move up to larger things like harassing heroines, looking on with a Tharki look on your face as the thakur attempts to outrage the modesty of random village girl, and so on. Then after a process of reviews and appraisals, carried out after each successful heist, robbery, thuggery or rape, you slowly move up the ranks. Until you reach the gold standard of well..err gold smuggler in the Hindi films of the 1970s. You can then chose to diversify your portfolio to drugs, diamonds or <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLAY-mTjp-w">even Eastern European dancers who do item numbers in Allu Arjun films. </a> I do not know which is more dangerous to sanity. Of course you could lose it all(money, sanity and self respect) when go down that deadly spiral of importing cheaply made fakes from China - you know Nickey and Robuck shoes, Giovanni musk after shave lotion / battery acid, Kannan cameras, Kashi-o and Trollex watches all sold at the finest shacks in Burma Bazaar, Madras (or to be politically correct - Myanmar Market, Chennai)<br /><br /><br />Speaking of Mints.<br /><br />Monday to Friday i steal my neighbor's copy of the Mint. On Saturdays i gloat and savour each issue in a weirdly creepy way. Don't judge me, all I wanted was to lootofy paanch mint ka mazaa.Australopithecushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644009333086190964noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5540171.post-34986185752448229632011-07-18T21:28:00.000-04:002011-07-18T21:29:05.836-04:00In Soviet Russia, all chefs are <span style="font-style:italic;">commis</span> chefs.Australopithecushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644009333086190964noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5540171.post-12549991189383347722011-05-05T13:27:00.005-04:002011-05-24T16:03:07.569-04:00Signs that you are in New Jersey.<br /><br />1) They play bhangra pop music in strip clubs.<br />2) you can buy old monk rum, Haywards 5000 beer<br />3) YOu get pan pasand and Swad at the Indian store, speaking of Pan Pasand, I even saw <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0dtrTTabgo">Archana Joglekar</a> in NJ.<br />4) Someone fills 'gas' for you. Unilke to the rest of the US (well except Oregon,I think) where you fill your own gas. Mostly desis.<br /><br />5)Oh and you get junk mail like this.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiazd_k_RDP35MUFFtSeSNh3XJmZaun9gFlUqF9y_bK56ffKDKwyfJ_mvHbU6uPd-CuUHzvvjNfgdK2FQWf3I_FAKXSC6QQETSW7Qejn5lR-WQzqTjhOoQibEgvo3FYfGKJvDer/s1600/IMG_0360.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiazd_k_RDP35MUFFtSeSNh3XJmZaun9gFlUqF9y_bK56ffKDKwyfJ_mvHbU6uPd-CuUHzvvjNfgdK2FQWf3I_FAKXSC6QQETSW7Qejn5lR-WQzqTjhOoQibEgvo3FYfGKJvDer/s320/IMG_0360.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5610375318814802850" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgGnQEZtFnp_uMFO63GGxYKg0HDUA1UGgcanVYOp-83WyPCxzR5WMyvcutUeVRi4ArPEOUPEeUa1dpuf1v21jK9r31YHMhN2fT06SxAPTlh5dAZPSMagycjSgVpA_8T1vonM2N/s1600/IMG_0362.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgGnQEZtFnp_uMFO63GGxYKg0HDUA1UGgcanVYOp-83WyPCxzR5WMyvcutUeVRi4ArPEOUPEeUa1dpuf1v21jK9r31YHMhN2fT06SxAPTlh5dAZPSMagycjSgVpA_8T1vonM2N/s320/IMG_0362.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5610375549401264786" /></a>Australopithecushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644009333086190964noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5540171.post-17869490059050729312011-04-14T16:39:00.002-04:002011-04-14T16:44:03.337-04:00Losing my touch.<br /><br /><br />A new cell was set up by interpol to monitor the illegal spice trade. What is worrying is that the spice and spice powder trade is used as a front to smuggle other types of "powders" if you know what I mean. It became quite famous this cell, I'm sure you've all heard about the Loung arm of the Law!<br /><br />In other news, Rajnikanth pledged support last week to Anna Hazare, this week pesky overenthu photographers got a picture of him voting, and it was seen that the great man voted for ADMK. From Anna to Amma. Rajni is keeping it all in the family.Australopithecushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644009333086190964noreply@blogger.com2