"Hu" dunnit?

Welcome to the People's republic of Chi...err India. All we need now is a few tanks rolling around Charminar...

I laughed...and that is what is important. or Huh?(with blank expression on face)

me:What did the psycho do with all the men friday that he had killed.
X: What?
me: He made a factotum-pole and sold it as native american art.
X: huh?

Y: The orientation session has been cancelled for today
me: arerey there must have been an Occident.
Y: huh?

See in these amateure porn videos the girls are busy covering their privates...I mean comeooooonnnnnnn
isn't it more important to cover your FACE maybe if you are so worried... Isn't it unlikely that someone will come across a pic of your pussy and say " hey! thats so and so she lives on rd no 3 banjara hills. I'd know that cunt anywhere."

This past week has been a very trying time for me. Slurs have been cast upon my charachter.
I have been accused of
a) Speaking with an English accent (naat true wonly I am telling boletho...bleddy fellows)
b) horrors of horrors...being a Gentleman. With a capital G. (kaun nanga makeoda bola)
c)being a geek (this of course is fully true)
d) performing random acts of kindness..(arey I who will steal from a blind beggar)

My image has been damages irrepairably. I will either kill myself, or go to Rishikesh and become a sadhu...

On second thoughts, I shall just remain here and make your lives miserable.

I was rolling on the floor laughjing when I heard this .
Thanks to maddening for sending it to me.
I used to have an English prof who spoke like that...he knew as much about literature as i know about wedding rituals of the Sentinelese tribals. more on that later.

Why aren't half baked ideas rare?

After hectic day yesterday , of enjoying myself, I slept for 12 hours. The longest I've ever slept in recent history.
When I woke up I was totally disoriented. I groggily looked at the paper there i saw Baba(and you though Himesh Reshammiya was a talentless idiot?) Sehgal's ugly mug staring back at me! I dropped the paper like a hot potato (take one out of the oven with your bare hands then you will know). I then went and switched on the TV. What do I see? Well it is the grinning face of Cheema Okerie (remember him India's best and Nigeria's worst?). You can well imagine the effects of such unfortunate event on a person who has just woken up. I hurriedly (for a man in my condition) checked the papers to see which year it was...I desperatly hoped that I hadn't done a reverse Rip Van Winkle.....or an Elkniw Nav Pir. (no not some holy man)..The date on the newspaper informed that I hadn't slipped back into time (or IMS). What was scary was..how are all these chaps crawling out of the woodwork suddenly...Would this inspire Kishen Kumar to make a comeback? Will Baba Sehgal and "Stylebhai" start raping our happiness again...err i meant Rapping....Will Piyush Soni jump out of the nearest doorway and sing the lovely and soulful Chokra..Will channel V release yet another "ultimate dance collection"? For more information...stay tuned......to the 12431232322332 news channels....and kabhi fursat mile to yahn bhi aana.

PS: the sibling informs me Beckham scored a goal....we have gone back into the past!!!

Will this Czech bounce?

Old one remixed.

Mard ko dard nahin hota bolke Amit mian bole katte
Chilkan bola.Pairaan ke beech mein marnaa jisko dard hota une ich mard hota.

Went to see this play today "Reading between the lines" starring and directed by Suhasini Maniratnam.
Quite amazing. Of course the free booze on offer might be clouding my judgement, after all one is not the best critic after consuming copious amounts of scotch that too...(insert typical voice over voice here) bilkul muft muft muft...Comments after such consumtions are limited to eloquent utterances such as..."Beeeeeenhchod" ,"Nange Makelaude " or even this at an alleged rock show "who the fuck said play Ricky Martin I will fuck his entire family on the stage while the band is playing"

The French football team has a midfielder called Claude Makelele...do I even need to say it?


Edit on 15 June : What if Rosemary married our friend?

Crouching Australo Hidden Dragon (or) Saara shahar mujhe loin ke naam se jaanta hai. ell eye o enn.

A few days ago I was in Chittoor dist. helping a field biologist friend out in his project, which involved the study of crows and their nests. We travelled from village to village in search of crow's nests and found half the village following us. We set up a ladder and climb to have a closer look at crows nest (nothing to do with a very Jolly Mr Roger) when suddenly someone recollected a news item they read in the morning "Bird egg collector falls to death while collecting eggs"
Highly motivational and encouraging I must say.

After a hard afternoon of carrying ladders and climbing them, we took a well-deserved break. I was leaning against a tree and thinking about such burning issues such as what would be on offer for dinner and where could I get a nice whiskey-soda at that very moment, when suddenly I felt the same sensation I had read about in many sidey books "a stirring in my loins"...(yes when we were kids there was no desibaba so we read printed trash instead of reading trash online)..This 'stirring' surprised me as I know it was not something physiological..There were no women, neither the gaon ki gori nor the adivasi kanya types. When I made the supreme effort of tilting my neck downwards so that I could investigate what was going on in the highly sensitive regions of the anatomy, to my surprise, I found Godzilla happily treating my crotch as a summer resort. On closer inspection it proved to be a Bark Gecko. I have heard of escaping to the mountains to beat the heat (I just thought of something nasty and rhyming here), but this is too much...I reacted as any normal (haha) sane (hahaha) human being who finds a reptile cavorting on his mojo (albeit fully clothed) would react.

Stress












Stress Relief

Accidental Rebel.

Baba Australopithecus' guide Part 2
Subject: How to rebel without trying.

I really mean it...don't try.

So I have become the only member of my family who hasn't gained admission into an IIT.

for more example of how to rebel without trying stay tuned to this channel

Dork!

A whale's penis is called a dork.
Boy! some sad sex life they must have.

Who was the greatest dork of all time? (and no I don't mean he was a dick)
Maxim Dorky?

Were Simon and Garfunkel into kinky stuff?
Didn't they sing a song that started with Hello Dorkness my old friend?

Lot of clubs have a Valentine's day Dance...could you call it a Love Day ka ball?

'Dick'tionary

dismember: What Lorena did to John Wayne Bobbit.

remember: What the plastic surgeons did to Mr Bobbit after the unfortunate incident invovling cutlery.

Ram Mandir banana Ram mandir banana pukarein to Howle mian gussa hue katte.
Ram mandir nakko Kaam mandir banana katte.

How Awful Mehta got Kicked, got Riled and got aWife.

See this wonderful poem I wrote. About the cow.

The Cow

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other, milk.

What? You mean Ogden Nash already wrote this poem years ago? I guess i must have just "internalised" it. I had better ring Bappi da up and ask him for advice.

Barenaked Laudes.


So! Sudden road trip on Monday. We were supposed to go to Nagarjuna Sagar but due to our friendly neighbourhood Naxalites involving themselves in such wonderful 'party' games such as kidnap the tourists (a.k.a kidnap-kidnap), we had to make sudden adjustments. So we were on our way to Medak church when suddenly we saw a signboard announcing a certain fort. Inspired by the Alto ad, (and not the Sopranos) we shouted lets go, and we went. The fort encloses a temple and a few havelis. The havelis had amazing carvings on all of them. Due to zabardast PR exercise by one of the party members we got the caretaker to let us in. When asked about the graffiti on the walls the caretaker responded with "Nange Makeode kare so kaamaan hai wo". We spent the rest of the afternoon laughing over images that flashed into our heads at that instant. Nange makeode loosely translated is naked mother's dicks. Suddenly our minds were filled with images of otherwise rexine pant, net baniyan clad Mallepalli Karim, and Gunfoundry Seenu types running around buck naked in an ancient haveli carrying sharp implement, to carve stuff into walls. Now the phrase has become an integral part of my vocabulary. Eg. "Kaun nanga makeoda bolra main immature hoon?