This Mathew Hayden, is the Prem Chopra of the cricket world. He rapes bowling attacks left right and centre. One can imagine a conversation between MH , R.P and Zak.

R.P &Zak: Bhagwan ke liye hume chod do.
MH : (rubbing hands in glee) Hehe! Bhagwan ke liye chod doon to mera kya hoga.heheheh

What have I been up to you ask? You didn't? I'll tell you anyway!

Friday: Jean-Luc Godard, Salvador Dali, Old Monk, vague discussions ranging from space-time to B Grade movies of the 90's among other things that lasted till 4 AM.

Saturday: Sleep Sleep and more sleep.... and reread some Biggles.

Sunday : Went all the way to Charminar. Pista house Haleem. Tried "veg" haleem, it seems like a glorified cross between upma and pongal...of course floating in ghee. The "normal" Haleem was as good as ever. Then there was some Paya at Shadaab, followed by mutton sheekh kababs. This caused vegetarian friend to remark "Bas kar saale log, nahin to kal subah good morning ke badle mein baaa baaa nikalinga". In retaliation we finished off his paneer tikka as well. This was topped off with "Mashoor" ice cream at Mozam Jahi market.

Monday: Woke up and tried to say good morning...It came out as normal....no baa baa. If it had, one could ahve written a song about it called Baa baa love, and dedicated to the Kiwis. Considered toss up between going birding and going to the derby on Tuesday. I've always found it funny that they insist on holding a race on the 2nd of October.

Tuesday : Happy the budday to Gandhi thatha. Birding cum picnic happened. Sat on the bank of a lake watching Terns, Ibis and various larks, while hogging sandwiches. Made the usual jokes about "doing it for a lark" and "aapka lark lark shukar hai"
Full mazza. Went home and read more Biggles.

So that was my weekend. No jokes here...go away.

Surely you're choking Mr Smith.

Rituparno Ghosh is making a new film about the South African cricket team....he is calling it Choker Bali. It is about a cricket match in Indonesia

That is Rampyari. She turned 5 this month! Aah the good times we've had..








twd

Do porn sites have stiff competition amongst themselves?

from Ananova


World's oldest condom

The oldest surviving condom in the world has gone on display in an Austrian museum.

The reusable condom dates back to 1640 and is completely intact, as is its orginal users' manual, written in Latin.

The manual suggests that users immerse the condom in warm milk prior to its use to avoid diseases.

The antique, found in Lund in Sweden, is made of pig intestine and is one of 250 ancient objects related to sex on display at the Tirolean County Museum in Austria this summer.

Yes yes condoms and Lunds seem to go together...

Gaur farmayie







Bullish or not I don't know. Yeh market achche achchon ku nanga (bare) kare so hai.

Thoughts for today.

I think 50 cent took the term "changing one's name" too literally.

Do entomologists have a plan Bee?

'Massacre'ehnas?

Our lives are cheap. We have one billion people here. Apparently no one cares for 41. Is apathy a new strategy to combat disruptive elements?

Sigh! Here we go again.

In extremely bad taste.
Willie Wanker and the Condom Factory.


It's the story of an ordinary chap; Charlie Fucket. His was no longer or thicker than anyone else's, nor did he last longer..He was an ordinary youngster from an ordinary family, who was soon to become the "Luckiest" chap on earth...

Now we come to our main chap. Some 20 years or so ago, Willy Wanker opened the largest condom factory in the world ..Where condoms were made by Latexed methods.However, spies(SPECTRE and THRUSH) stole his latex and flavoured lubricants so he closed the factory. Not forever though. Suddenly WW decided to allow 5 people to visit the factory and one of them will win a special "prize" at the end. Does this sound suspiciously like a pop star who is black and white (and heard all over)?

So back to the youngsters

The youngsters have to find one of the five golden tickets hidden beneath the ordinary wrapping paper of five 10 pack dotted Wanker packs. So, Augustus Gloop (who used bear grease for lubrication, hence his name), Veruca Slut (a spoilt English ...ahem), Violet Disregarde (she blew stuff), Mike Teavee (who prefers the box to making whopee) and Charlie Fucket (the "luckiest" boy in the entire world) win tickets and visit the factory.

Full "Accidents" happen on tour...Gloops brings his own gloop slips on it and falls into molten rubber...thus making him look like a rishtedaar of spiderman. Violet tries licking up flavoring ingredient from the machine and manages to get stuck to the onion garlic flavour waala machine and no one wants to go near to release her.Then one more person tries to bugger a rodent and falls into a chute..a chutE..and not a ..chut.
Anywho..Charlie wins the competition. Unfortunately for him the prize is to be the heir of the condom factory as well as Willie Wanker's own personal exclusive love slave, as Willie was tired of Wanking. Charlie is upset as that would mean leaving his beloved sheep behind..as well as his beloved sheep's behind, therefore he declines..Willie realises the importance of sheep and shifts his line to the dairy industry...Willie, Charlie and Dolly live happily until the sequel.

Australopithecus tries to act intellecshual.

After a long discourse that started from string theory and was skilfully guided by various people to this zoological discussion on a certain man's hypothetical cat, who was half alive and half dead at the same time. Then onto the many worlds interpretation. Whereupon I jumped up and cried in excitement...So that means if there are n possible outcomes, there are also n parallel universes where each event definitely occurs? Boletho I don't have to back the right horse for the Deccan Derby, just the right universe to run it in?

If looks could kill!

...In a related story. Werner Heisenberg was once pulled over for driving too fast. When they asked him "do you know how fast you were going!". He said " No, but I know where I am".

Sutti.

( Disclaimer: Not like Thor's hammer...)


It is all a matter of perspective...
Remember the story of the little boy who stuck his finger where it did not belong and hence saved Holland from floods?
In Holland they call you a hero for sticking your finger in a dyke. In the U.S they would call you a sex offender for the same.

Someone came to my blog looking for "Lanja Rambha"...Talk about casting aspersions (on my charachter, i meant, who cares about Rambha). Let me clarify. This blog is named "Thus Spake Australopithecus" and not "Mehandi Galli (now on information super-highway)", "Star Whores" or ever "whore ni amma!" and name is not Pori Seenu, Gowliguda Ganesh.

In my day back in prehistory we didn't have whores. We didn't need them. We had clubs.

A stitch in time.....messes with the gravitational field.
Whereas a Stich in 1991 won Wimbledon.
A Stich with thyme serves nine...cannibals?

O.k. That was too much even for me!

A friend of mine went to Bangkok recently, the city and not the action. He was telling about some of his experiences there. When one talks about koks can pussies be far behind?

So this chap goes to this show where women are doing weird things, with various parts of their anatomy. Like this one: Women are opening beer bottles with their unmentionables.

Woah! I have trouble just opening bottles with openers, (these days the openers spend lots of time in the dressing room). No, but seriously, how did they come up with this idea.

Dyam! No opener...I wonder if I could open it with my cunt?

Orkutte.

One suggestion to all chaps on Orkut: If you do list one of your passions as "writing" try spelling it with a W.Spelling it with a single T would also be nice (Afzal ek single T , do Osmania biskoot laane jaldi).

Avoiding statement like "I am a simple man guy " would be great. Especially that insistence, by stating the fact twice, makes one wonder...But this one is great "i am selfmad man." At least this gentleman has the honesty to admit it.He drove himself crazy, imagine what he could do to you!

Incoherence is avoidable...

"wht to say an where to start with mee colll but talkitive an g luv music an carz an bikez don't 4get frndz too im a guy who want to be with frndz aonly most of da time..........
me do hav a friendly nature an love to increase them so do be my frnd u will be in a diif world an i do like to hav frndz like u all so plzzz vote SO PL VOTE 4TAJMAHAL PLZZZZZZZ AT LEAST 4THE SAKE OS INDIA 'S GLOURY"

...As is the repetition of the last alphabet of a word N number of times, such as "plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz", "moreeeeeeeeeeeee" and "i lovvveeeeeeeeee trishaaaaaaaa"

Bloomers like these will be laughed at, and you will be made fun off.

like this guy,who says:

"im a cute but fatty gut an i wann to reduce da weight an they tell it is done only by makin more frndz so i joined da orkut so............"

Oh i've got a gut feeling about you...and es ist nicht gut. Oh now I nknow why I'm not losing weight. I've only been making friends on orkut, not frndz. Could someone tell me how I could go about making Frndz?

"i do like to drink coolll drinkzmore.....................lik to shop an watch flims an do many more so wht do u say................................................"

'lik'? Whiskey Tango foxtrot is that? What do I say? I say jump in a dry well.

And as far as i know, being the young fogey that i am..Linakan park is not a band...in fact Linkin park should be banned.

His take on interaction with the opposite sex
"wht to tell more abt me im a very decent guy an love to flert girlz an i do it widh style an i think abt them before but i think i cannot now bcoz im angaged now so u hav to all tell abt me by adding me up..........................................................shure do add me up to get a very good frnd..........................................."

I swallowed all that...but.
now here is where I got suspicious...it could be a huge put up job...couldn't it.

"cuisines: many r their but srikanth an keerthii r my favroite cos......... "

oh well...as long as I laughed.

Aight. This here blog is now four years old...

yay! (fanfare) . Throws confetti in the air.
right thats all now..shows over. Ta-ta bye-bye pip-pip and all that.


oh! and you might want to read a post i wrote over here for Anil's blog's birthday. .
and now mine..like one celebrates ones birthday by eating out..I celebrated by writing out.

Q. What is Assembly language?
A. In A.P. something like lanja kodaka, pisatchi munda kodaka, donga bhadacou. and so on.

Observation.
Dorothy Parker

If I don't drive around the park,
I'm pretty sure to make my mark.
If I'm in bed each night by ten,
I may get back my looks again,
If I abstain from fun and such,
I'll probably amount to much,
But I shall stay the way I am,
Because I do not give a damn.