Nostalgia.

Check this out

They found my rishtedaar in Ethiopia, its in the news and all. See here for the story

One of the 'benefits' of being retired is that you get to interact with that irritating section of society that goes about ruining your sleep. Precisely as you show your passport at the immigration desk to the land of Nod, they turn up and before you can say M.E.C.V. Raju's full name they deport you to the land of the living.Yes ladies and others, I mean door to door salesmen. Of late however, I have been taking my revenge. My favourite targets are those ill informed Aquaguard and R.O systems salesmen that waltz to my front gate and try to teach me Chemistry. Just like those professors in that gas chamb..err I meant the Chemistry department tried to do. I don't mean my profs ever waltzed...they might have done teen maar dance in their youth..but I digress. So these salesmen very persistantly try to teach me about e-boiling allegedly carried out by Ultra-violet rays. That woke me up, I spiritedly rose to the defense of these poor UV rays they maybe invovled in many dastardly acts, such as destroying the structure of DNA by forming Thymidine dimers, buit in this case they are totally innocent M'lord. They do not cause boiling, through internet or otherwise. (e-boiling? I've heard of being burnt in the dot com bust but this is too much.)....because...Your Hounour. They cannot. (excited murmurs in courtroom).Judge says Order order (one large royal stag on the rocks please). The salesman goes on to try and talk me out of boiling water.
S: Saar when boilings we are doings Yaxizen is going.
Me: What is going?
S: Yaxizen Yaxizen
(this guy must be related to that slaesman who darkened my door a year or so ago. I wrote a post about that chap as well)
Me: Oh Oxygen eh? So can you tell me how many ppm of oxygen would there be in a litre of water (not that I have any clue but then having been a teacher, I can fake it)
S: I don't know saar.
Me: Arey. So what if there is no oxygen in water?
S: saar health not good saar.
Me: Kindly explain to me in brief with the help of diagrams how one absorbs oxygen through the stomach.
Anyway, the long and the short of it being, I harassed the chap for about 15 minutes. I enjoyed it thoroughly..of course he didn't, but then who asked him to ring my bell in siesta time.

There are 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary, and those who don't

Hilarious!

Orkut.

There I was randomly browsing profiles when i came across this one form a person who has listed under Passions "m lurning jazz now"

tsk tsk tsk...Where do I start.
Will someone please tell me how you can go and learn "jazz"
It reminds me of this sidey alleged music school that had an ad." Learn Guitar, Table, Violin and Jazz"
First it took me a minute to decipher "Table"..I was first under the impression that it was also an etiquette school that taught table manners on the side, then I thought that they were trying to give life to the old art form of playing a table.If you went to a college like the one I had the amazing experience of going to..they (fellow students) used all possible furniture as percussion instruments (as well as weapons when such a necessity arose) , these improvised percussion instruments were often used to render a lovely beat we call the teen mar. Please don't confuse it with Teen tal and ask me what "lay".I am after all a "lay" person. And no I am not talking about my sex life either.
Right teen mar..dont worry we were not abusing adolescents..no teens were being beaten up either. but I digress.
I finally figured out that the Table was a misprint..I ought to have read Tabla..
So now we move on to another interesting little item on the agenda. Jazz.
Pray tell how one goes about learning or teaching "jazz". I was very curious at the time. so I went to the address given, to see how he would teach me jazz.
I met the chap who called himself the "Master" (pronouced myaster) and promised to teach me "jazz" (pronounced Jyajj)...He looked like a darker,lighter(!!!) version of Bappi da...lighter as in weight,because because he did not have half as much jewellery (only 6 rings and 3 chains) . I felt happy. If not jyajj I will certainly learn abhout moojik.
This chap hadn't heard of Thelonious Monk.
When I asked him "so have you heard of Thelonius Monk?"..
He replied " Naya rum ka brand hai kya? Old Monk mafik?"
What about Miles Davis?
Merku miles nahin maaloom..lekin Piles ki takleef zaroor hai yarron..isliyeich main khadakke ich sikhatoon...tabla bhi khadakke ich sikhaatoon.
Charlie Parker?
Hau parking ku jyaga bahut hai.
Louis Armstrong
arey moojik bajare to finger aur arms bahut straang hote.

One 'arsehole' too many. Poor guy. RIP.