Friday, March 25, 2005

Venue: Sangeet theater (note : it is a cinema theater)

Question : Oooooooooh!! What are you doing here..

Some possible answers that run through me head:
I'm here to have my gall bladder removed.Wanna watch?
I'm here for the adventure sports.Standing in queues for one hour trying to get tickets is an adrenalin rush.
You see I have this rash....
I'm collecting air samples to do studies on communicable diseases. theaters are the best places to get maximum germs in sample.
I came to steal the tomatoes from the sandwiches.
MWHAHAH.Death to the infidel dogs.I have B.anthracis in this vial.
Ghar mein paani nahin aara. I thought I'd bathe in the loo here.In the washbasin.
Sabu applied formula 93 and so I landed here from Bhatinda.
"Sabu.Apply formula number 93"

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

The Centipede- Ogden Nash

I objurgate the centipede,
A bug we do not really need.
At sleepy-time he beats a path
Straight to the bedroom or the bath.
You always wallop where he's not,
Or, if he is, he makes a spot.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Don't sweat the petty things.More importantly don't pet the sweaty things.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

If it all made sense,it wouldn't be as much fun.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Its a mad mad world

The Prof walks into the class glares at all of us,then turns to the board and writes in capital letters SOD.
We thought,this was it, the Prof had finally lost it after years of teaching faaltu people like us and associating with chimpanzees err i mean the other professors .He had finally, lost control...
Alas this was not to be for after a brief pause he started talking about SuperOxide Dismutase.

Next class prof walks in looks at us and says"You off the fans my sound is not be vijible to you all"

Another one. Prof looks at us and asks "what is the region?"
As usual I was asleep and was woken up by nudge from classmate.
Prof repeated "what is the region"
I almost said Telangana.but i realised in time that I was pursuing a masters degree in Chemistry and not Geography, so I wondered what region had to do with it...then slowly it dawned on me...he was looking for a reason. for something...of course due to circumstances beyond my control like sleep...I could not answer that question and stated so...

Sunday, March 06, 2005

I think I have a reasonable high threshold for tolerating so called 'bad smells', I guess it is because of the long hourse spent in various labs,or maybe it was just the stinking loos in NC that caused this resistance.Now till a few days ago I would have classified the worst smell I have experienced as being that of a blood sample gone you can smell that right across a lab...but that was before I met Mr S.This guy stinks so badly.Rumour has it that he was chucked out from the hostel for this reason. his former room mates tell me that the guy hadn't had a bath or washed his clothes ever since he joined the hostel two years ago. I mean to be chucked out of OU hostel takes some doing.Many people have even raised thier familes there...Now this guy insists on sitting just in front of me in class ,believe me ..I havent come across worse forms of torture..I'll even take my 8th class hindi master's "wall-chair" punishment.This is the only time I was gratefull I had a cold....Did I tell you he doesnt belive in brushing his teeth either....We know the guy has entered the university campus.We get the "charachteristic odour" when S reaches the Uni gate.considering the Uni gate is about a kilometer and a half from the department(at least).Maybe we could harness his power.Use lock him up in a perfume factory and unleash on "dushman desh" during times of international unrest and such like, like a sort of nucelar detterent, worse than mustard gas or nerve gas.

Saturday, March 05, 2005

This Friday evening ,I had a cold and a fever.But at least the Sax was great.

Friday, March 04, 2005

Courtroom Scene
Ab aap Geeta pe haath rakh kar ...
Defendant: Arey! Pehle Rita pe haath lagaya to jail bhijaye...Ab aap ich kehrein Geeta pe haat rakho...

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Intense boredom. I now understand what that feels like.Usually my overactive imagination and the voices in my head keep me entertained.But this Prof is so Boring (notice the capital B) that even the voices in my head have either fallen asleep or commited suicide.siigh no more self entertainment for me.