Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Ramblings- Episode 1-Gaur se suno (or) How to warm your trousers on a cold day

It has been a crazy few months.

It all started with the job. I hated it. Well that's not entirely true. I liked the job. I just hated my boss and it did not help that many of my colleagues had the IQs of dead newts. So I chucked it and went loafing, apparently I also chucked sanity and went mad. How else would I do a road trip 500 odd Kilometres each way, across Tamil Nadu in the middle of May, not the very merry month of May let me assure you. They said "only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the mid-May sun" (to bastardize a phrase). The last time I checked my passport, it said Republic of India so I guess all I have to say is..woof woof growlll.

So we went Chennai-Pondicherry-Trichy/Srirangam(where we had amazing lunch both onward and return journey)-Dundigal- and hold your breath...Kodaikanal. So you see, there was method to this madness after all. Spent a week or so there in this lovely 100 year old house, with a pear and plum orchard attached. There was a lot of birding to be done, saw quite a few exotic species. The highlight of the trip of course was to be the encounters with the Gaur.

So here is how it happened, to borrow words from Monk.Early one morning, I was running around the Sholas trying to invade the privacy of a Black-and-orange Flycatcher (Ficedula nigrorufa), when I reached a small valley, the end of the road for the chase, but then we had binoculars, so we played paparazzi, without a camera for a bit, before I was politely interrupted by a low grunt from behind. I turn around to look and see this massive specimen of Gaur, standing a few feet away, looking apologetic for ruining my morning birding. However, the rest of his herd, all ten of them, weren't looking quite so apologetic. I was screwed, to put it politely, It was perhaps a good thing that I had answered Mother Nature's call just a few moments before this event, otherwise there would have been an addition to the groundwater levels of Periyakulam down in the plains.

Stuck between a herd of wild animals and a valley and all I could think of were sidey jokes like Gaur farmaiyie and Gaur se suno while simultaneously freaking out. somehow managed to walk away edging along the valley and scooting while they were looking for leaves to eat. When I got home, I found that the Gaur had already been there looking for me, and in the process had trampled all over the flower beds.

Update: I have just been informed that Rakhi Sawant once said something like "Insaan nahin to kya saand peeche padenge” I guess I should be happy, insaan nahin to kum se kun saand to peeche pade hain

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Monday, July 07, 2008

Life comes full circle.

When I was a kid, Inflation was in double digits, Ramayana was on TV and a man named Subhash Gising was leading agitations for a separate Gorkhaland.

20 years later.

Inflation is in double digits, Ramayana is on TV (sans that painful Arun Govil) and people are agitating for a separate Gorkhaland.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

mixed meta-fours

This post was written in the immediate aftermath of the IPL. So it is a little dated. Tazaa maal will be up shortly. Pliss to bear with me. If you are hot, single and of the female persuasion, you can bare with me as well, I won't mind one bit.

The IPL had more of an impact on me than I realized. Even a week after it was over and done with I still had a vague feeling of incompleteness at 8pm every evening. To get rid of this feeling I consumed copious quantities of a beverage similarly named.

One of the biggest impacts of the IPL has been., no I don’t mean ball hitting bat (vice versa actually) , spectators in the crowd, or even the amount of money spent. I mean the commentary.

Yes ladles and jellyspoons, this is the age of marketing ..and of low attention spans. So various commentators, I can't remember who, I wasn't paying attention (I did say it was the age of low attention spans) , It was mostly L. Sivaramakrishnan and gang who kept shouting "thats another DLF maximum" time and time again. If I hear anyone say it one more time I'm going to take a DLF maximum bamboo and shove it up their.....aah..Damn! I said it myself. Its so deeply ingrained...maybe I should rush to see a shrink. Rush as fast as a tracer bullet? If I hear Ravi Shastri say that again...I'm going to run away faster than a tracer bullet. I understand that with so many boundaries its difficult for them to come up with new stuff, which is why I've decided to help them out and so should you...for your own sanity's sake- come up with new lines.

That's gone to the fence faster than...

... A Rolex dropped on the footpath.

...Ben Johnson running to the loo with explosive diarrhea.

...Shakti Kapoor running towards the abla naaris (did the ball say Aaooo as well?)

... the time UP Police takes to mess up cases.

over to you now.

This post has been cross posted on Sursuri
Sursuri will shortly be running a fun competition along these lines so check it out.

PS: Latest in Indo- Japanese fusion cusine. Chicken Terimaaki. Maybe someone should let Bhajji and Symmo have a taste.