Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Right, those of you who know me offline know that I have been the victim of a receding hairline for quite sometime now. Now with economic times (or even mint) being as they are, the "recession" has only worsened. I decided to drastically change my hairstyle

I've had it cut very close and have grown my beard. You know the law of conservation of hair: hair can neither be created nor destroyed, It just moves from your head to all over the rest of your body - anyhow not being a blog dedicated to the whys and wherefores of personal grooming let me proceed to the matter at hand.

So yes the look I was aiming for is the excellent Bob Christo look. For those of you who do not know who the esteemed Mr Christo is, please jump in a dry well err no gentle reader please go now and pay homage to our new overlord..Google.

When the long suffering love of my life, Lucy, took a look at the pictures I uploaded immediately after the haircut.She snorted...no not drugs, get your mind out of the crack house- It was just a normal PG rated snort. Speaking of crack, I used to think, when I was a kid, that a crack whore was a prostitute who was extremely good at what she did, you know like a "crack regiment" or something....I wonder how many crack regiments are posted in Afghanistan - oh wait cocaine doesn't come from poppy. Perhaps from mommy then?

Would you call a person who only has butt sex for a financial consideration, a crack whore?

Anywho, I digress. So Lucy was all like "Bob Christo. You can't even make Rami Reddy on a good day"

Well I guess it is true for filmi henchmen, just as in any other profession. First you start small. Like being a sidekick to a small time eve teaser that harasses the hero's sister, then you move up to larger things like harassing heroines, looking on with a Tharki look on your face as the thakur attempts to outrage the modesty of random village girl, and so on. Then after a process of reviews and appraisals, carried out after each successful heist, robbery, thuggery or rape, you slowly move up the ranks. Until you reach the gold standard of well..err gold smuggler in the Hindi films of the 1970s. You can then chose to diversify your portfolio to drugs, diamonds or even Eastern European dancers who do item numbers in Allu Arjun films. I do not know which is more dangerous to sanity. Of course you could lose it all(money, sanity and self respect) when go down that deadly spiral of importing cheaply made fakes from China - you know Nickey and Robuck shoes, Giovanni musk after shave lotion / battery acid, Kannan cameras, Kashi-o and Trollex watches all sold at the finest shacks in Burma Bazaar, Madras (or to be politically correct - Myanmar Market, Chennai)

Speaking of Mints.

Monday to Friday i steal my neighbor's copy of the Mint. On Saturdays i gloat and savour each issue in a weirdly creepy way. Don't judge me, all I wanted was to lootofy paanch mint ka mazaa.