Friday, November 30, 2007

On same trip , I was harassed by colleague (aged around 30) who wanted to join the army, I told him realization struck too late. He then proceeded to bombard me with questions ,which I attempted to answer to the best of my knowledge. It was like explaining things to a block of set cement.After half an hour he asks me "so Subedar Major is senior to Major aa?"...At least the block of cement doesn't have stupid questions like this. So this is when I decided to have some fun. When the next question arrived I decided to amuse myself. No point explaining things to this idiot bolke.

Idiot: So Major will go in field aa?
Aus : Well. If there are no bathrooms around then he will.
Bouncer for idiot. Next delivery.
Idiot : Will General go in field?
Aus : Chi no! What will the troops say.
Idiot : (Now confused and exasperated.) Who will go in field then!!!
Aus : Field Marshall will go in the field man

Suddenly visions of old Sam Bahadur running with lota in hand through fields came to mind..almost fell out of the jeep laughing.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

I not dead yet.

I have just got back from a whirlwind tour of various tribal villages over 2 districts in AP...No no I haven't joined the Maoists...yet. Doing some survey and all..Oh did I forget to mention..I am gainfully employed once again alas. but then they pay me to loaf and this time they gave me vehicle with "Govt vehicle" sticker on we saved money in all the toll booths, as well as avoided stupid questions from small time officials like "You are Gormint?". No I am Australopithecus.

I am ill. This is what happens when you drink water in some vague tanda. This is how it happened. Here was man telling me how horrid the water was in his village. Then serves me one huge lota of same saline, polluted water with some fluoride thrown in for free. One couldn't refuse...also one was dying of thirst. So as I drank I said to myself. Here is your first sick leave coming.Sure enough....

Then there is another observation. While I was loafing one night in Khammam looking for a medical store..Well they seem to flourish there, so I picked the least sidey looking one and went. Interestingly unlike the city where they stock within easy reach the high selling items like Halls and what not. Here they had condoms , Ozomen capsules ( that is Sildenafil Citrate) and the I-pill. I had to wait in line to buy a strip of digene, behind three people who were all buying condoms. When I reported same to a friend he exploded.".Bloody bastards are getting laid in fucking Khammam, and here in a city of 30 odd lakh women I have to rely on the 'old faithful'"
Thats the problem maybe..they are 30 "odd" lakh women.

Ugh.I think I shall go throw up.
Stomach upset: the ends suffer because of the mean

Friday, November 09, 2007

Aisee Vani Boliye, Mun Ka Aapa Khoye
Apna Tan Sheetal Kare, Auran Ko Sukh Hoye

Aisee Vani boliye, Jo sabse jhagda hoye.
par aise kisi se na boliye, jo aapse tagda hoye.
(heard on TV)