Tuesday, April 28, 2009

IPL

Just when you thought the crooks organizers of the IPL had discovered every single way top advertise including Citi moment of success (Citi and success? Didn’t they get a bailout recently?) or DLF maximum (In this economy more like DLF minimum) they strike again. New modes of advertising include

- Whenever Tendulkar does his trademark crotch grab, commentators are to scream. Lux cozy yeh andar ki baat hain and sing Khujli karne waale B-Tex lagale.

- Whenever the camera pans to Sreeshant doing something silly- That moment will be brought to you by Kohinoor condoms, if his parents had used Kohinoor, none of this would have happened. Sreeshant is also brought to you by CRY.

- Every time a South African fast bowler playing for Vijay Mallya’s team is dismissed, that moment will be brought to you by Surf Excel…Excellent for removing Steyns.

- When we see Akash Chopra scratching around for his 6 runs, that moment those moments will be brought to you by Itch Guard.

- Jesse Ryder will be brought to you by Alcoholics Anonymous and VLCC slimming center.

- Symonds by the Department of Animal Husbandry, Dairying & Fisheries. Animal Husbandry? Isn’t that more of a Kiwi thing? They love their sheep you know, those Kiwis. Associate sponsors will be the Jane Goodall Institute for primate research.

- The fake IPL player brought to you by Subhash Chandra.

- Perennially excited commentators brought to you by Red Bull. (He ran it down to third-man and picked up a single!!!!!!! What a shot!!!!!!! You beauty!!!!!.)

- John Buchanan by National Institute of Mental Health and Neuro Sciences (NIMHANS)

- Muralitharan’s bowling action brought to you by the hot and spicy barelylegal.com

- Dada will be brought to you by The Shah of Iran’s fund for deposed leaders.

- Arbit loser kinds who will never get a game are brought to you by the Make a Wish foundation.

- If Steve Bucknor had been umpiring he'd have been brought to you by L.V Prasad Eye Institute.



Edit: All match fixing scandals brought to you by Satyam Computers, associate sponsors Maytas.
"You'll get laid when pigs fly" she said. "Well" he replied "haven't you heard of the swine 'flew'"

Monday, April 13, 2009

How does one alleviate homesickness? By doing the following

Wake up at 11am on a Sunday. Listen to FM music channels from Hyderabad. Get ready. Go out to lunch at a local Dosa place. Share appetizers with friends namely (the snacks that is, not the friends) Mirchi Bajji, Samosa and Cutlets. Move on to Masala Dosa and round it off with kulfi and nice filter coffee.

For dinner one should then eat Biryani from "Paradise"

Then one should watch old episodes of M*A*S*H talk to friends online and go to sleep.
The rest of the week should be much better.

And yesterday the temperature fell below 0 C. April my arse.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Late night/Early morning.

I have only 5 submissions, 2 exams, a poster and a presentation coming up in the next few weeks, How do I spend my "free" time? Playing pool and drinking beer. Sigh. What priorities I say!

I am sitting in my room. The heating is off. It is April for heaven's sake.It is cold. As I exhale with force, I can see a cloud of condensation form . This is not done. This is not my April. My April involves, blinding heat. It involves hot dry winds blowing into my already hot room, bringing in the Telangana dust. This dust that collects on my oily forehead, and when i wipe my brow, it feels like im being sandpapered. It involves, cieling fans that push hot air at you, the smell of coolers, the fragrance khus-khus mats just wet. It involves sudden showers, with that amazing smell of moisture on parched earth. My April involves mangoes.

I want my April

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Friday, April 10, 2009

Flashback to 2007, when the Indian cricket team under Rahul Dravid, won the test series in England. Dravid did not enforce the follow on and the final test was drawn, Kumble scored a century though. I remember watching it in my father's club while having a nice drink and eating masala peanuts.

Cut to 2009. In the third test against New Zealand. Our "aggressive" captain did not declare in time, and we drew a match that we could have won.

Who do you think got more flak for being defensive?



On an unrelated note: Thought for the day. Too many kinks spoil the brothel.
Sigh. This is what happens to your alleged mind if you stay awake till 5 ack emma to write papers.
It has been brought to my notice that the Phrase Good Friday is actually a corruption of Guddu Friday, today is the day the Easter Bunny goes around hiding eggs.

Friday, April 03, 2009

An old one

Sa Re Ga Ma toh Dara Singh kaun?