Recycled joke

What do you call a military man who appreciates people's backsides.
A Rear- Admiral.

I would have thought he would have been a Navel man

Recycling is good for you:

9 out of 10 dwarf eunuchs with diarrhea recommend recycling.

“Recycling makes you feel good – I always recycle my chewing gum wrappers during those 6 hour drives I take on my Humvee”

Chuck Norris recycles.

“You can reuse and recycle anything” says employee at Patel’s Cash & Carry as he picks out used dental floss from a trash can.

On that note, here is something I wrote ages ago. I came up with it in a chat conversation to entertain/ irritate a friend and thought it would look good on the blog...I still think so. So here goes.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Airy-Fairy Tale

Long long ago. In a land far far away, even further than Jhumritallaya. There lived and evil dwarf called Crumpledforeskin. He was the survivor of a circumcision accident. A Jewish moyel had invented this new circumcision machine prototype which drastically malfunctioned,leading to CF's condition and by extension [get it] his name. This also explained his attitude toward life and people in general. He felt that he had been "shortchanged" if you catch my drift. And also he found it difficult to pick up girls- he was too short and they were too heavy. To exact revenge he used to sneak into circumcision ceremonies just as the deed was going to be done he would yell BOO! As the gentle reader can well imagine, this often had tragic outcomes.
But Crumpledforeskin had a special gift. He could see dead people...oops wrong story. No he really did have a gift, his parents gave it to him, for his 12th birthday. It was a BMW M6 convertible. When CF was zooming around in his car, He couldn’t see the road at all, which made life more interesting. If not life, then death at any rate (14% p.a Compounded annually), was now more interesting of course, when the people he crushed under his car went to heaven they felt superior to the lowly ones who had died of common things like STD, Legionary's disease, and Shekhar Suman. For real enjoyment he used to scatter marbles before blind men and exchange the leash of their Seeing Eye dog to a rope tied to the route 45 bus.
He had one more special talent. He could fart on demand. This made him very popular with the renewable energy ministry as a source of biogas. They pleaded with him to help them solve their energy crisis, but CF being evil personified just farted in the energy ministers face and ran away. Well he tried to run at least. But being only about a foot and a half tall (just a little taller than Amir Khan), the Beautiful princess of the kingdom saw him and thought that he was a cockroach. “They” hit him with a rubber chappal by mistake, thinking he was a roach (Periplaneta americana). That was the end of Solomon Grundy..err Crumpledforeskin

Recycled Post.


Saturday, July 02, 2005
Monsoon.

Aah, I love the rain.Especially when I am nice and dry in my house.I have the same opinion of the cold, the heat, and if there is something I missed out I probably have the same opinion of that as well.
What I do not love is standing at a bus stop waiting for a bus when its pissing rain.Sudden downpour, as if some one pulled the flush lever on a toilet.It leaves the roads slushy, with drains flooding and sewage mixing freely with rain water (rain water and drain water become one.Reminds me of 'Mile sur mera tumhara"or even "Mile sewer mera tumhara" ).Suddenly a bus appears, and in the following riot that ensues, a least four people get pushed into the muck, those are the lucky ones.If you've ever traveled in a jam packed bus in the rain, you will know what I mean. the wonderful mixture of smells that waft your way are the least of your problems, the most annoying thing is the drops of water leaking from the roof that fall on the most uncomfortable of places..like a Chinese water drip torture. one can almost imagine Fu-Manchu laughing and rubbing his hands together with relish (why not mayonnaise asks my mother.Now you can see Mendel had a point.).So,if you are one of those who says "I love the rains" you should probably take a trip in an overcrowded APSRTC bus,that should prove to be an interesting experience.