Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Chemistry can be pHun

Why did I want to do chemistry?

I can Blow stuff up.

Exposure to toxic and carcinogenic substances .FOR FREE!!!

Free 100% Ethanol.

I could do wierd things like blocking the sink and pouring HCL and conc Ammonia in it and singing loudly in the lab..SMOOOOOOKE ON THE WAAAAAAAAAATEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRR.

No need to waste money on deo. Anyway you will stink. might as well save cash.

Unleash smelly farts and blame it on the leaky Kipps apparatus.

An excuse for carrying matches .

Smoke all teh stuff one wants and if caught claim to be researching effects of Delta 9 THC on physiological systems.

I can dissolve the bodies of my enemies .leaving no trace MWHAHA.

Sunday, December 26, 2004


A:Arey! I wish I could go to the moon.
B:so do I you bastard.and not come back.

Question : Would Tendulkar be given out for handling the balls?

After a rocking weekend....back to the grind tomorrow.deep sigh......

Carry me, caravan.
Take me away.
Take me to Portugal.
Take me to Spain.
With fields full of grain,
I have to see you
Again and again.
Take me, Spanish caravan.
Yes, I know you can.
-Spanish Caravan (The Doors)
but bring me back by the next weekend you hear?eh?

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

I'd rather be a Passer domesticus than a Helix aspersa (brown garden snail)...doesnt have the same ring to it no?

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Speaking of hairy men. its that time of the year innit. when the old "christmas thata" , you know ,old nick, comes sliding down chimneys...why does he always go down the chimney i wonder...maybe it 'soots' him?

aaaaah christmas..when everyone in 'the abroad' is so Santamental....errr i mean sentimental, mental anyways santa or senti..
well looks like im on a roll..no not a swiss roll...but one of cracking faaltu christmas jokes.
how bout a knock knock joke then eh?
Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Hanna who?
Hanna partridge in a pear tree.

Another thing about Christmas bhai, it is defintitely not the season of giving.How do I figure that you ask, well gentle reader (ie you lousy layabouts with nothing better to do other than read the drivel i dish out.) See no one even wants to share their Christmas. What maaki giving and all that .. see every where you go you hear people saying Meri Christmas, Meri Christmas...what it is??eh?Can't even share the festival or what?
Australopithecus Baba's Pearls of Wisdom: Part 1

cut to hairy dude (moi) with a serene (stoned) expression on his face.with a beatific smile (see last bracket) ,position of palm is in traditional 'aashirwad' position.Finally he speaks :

There are stars in the.......skyyyyyy.
There are birds in the.......treeeeees.
There are snakes in the......grass...which is a very usefull thing if you get the munchies after you smoke up a bit.

Friday, December 17, 2004

sniff.sniff..cough. This is the last time I make fun of Chennai weather.I had a code in my dose, thankfully i'm back in town and the cold seems to have remained in Chennai.
So what all did i do in chennai. well i warmed the benches in a few kutcherys..in fact this has been recorded on one of the tamil channels, if you can see the telecast, you will see one hairy unevolved looking dude sleeping with his mouth open.....lesson learnt..don't mix antihistamines with carnatic music....the second concert was pretty good though.

What is the worst thing that could happen to you in chennai? no no its not being robbed blind by auto drivers thats a daily occurance, one must face these fellows with a particular type of attitude, eg: ok im being screwed over, but as they say, of it is inevitable...try to get into a comfortable postion...one doesnt need chaffed knees to add to a pain in the ass........dealing wioth auto drivers. i must take lessons from CS at some point in time.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

maaan. i know i have been studying too much when is started reading words with a little twist....
periodic: i read as per-iodic (as in per-iodic acid. no no its not the acid that forms every twenty minutes)
unionized: as un-ionized..
I think chemistry has left an indelible imprint in my head, (just like being struck on it by a lead filled cosh.

Btw: you know when you go to someones house in Scotland, they welcome you with a plate on which there is a small lamp and they marofy a few chukkers and go off...you know what they call it ? Mcarthy.

Saturday, December 04, 2004

Yup NS we should write a book. maybe even make a movie, like the Hyderabad blue films...err i meant of course the Hyderabad Blues films...By Mr. Cocka...err Kukanoor.
Full Hyderabadi.
Suggest titles ?
Charminar ka Chichcha? (i'm going to do DD type subtitles)
(Uncle of Four Tower)....not to be confused with LOTR.
how does that sound?
what about the promo,.
From the makers of
"Bhaag Bhosadi, Toofan Aaya"
(Run cunt storm approaches)
coming soon to a Theater near you.
A lot of people in town have this habit of pronouncing words starting with a J as starting with a Z sound.
But I advice them, for god's sake don't pronounce Mr K.A.Jaleel 's name like that.

Friday, December 03, 2004

Ok few more movies on have to watch list., along with Jab Ghar mein ho saali,to puri saal diwali.we have Rajamhundry Rambha. and Vayasu pilistundi raa.
In the immortal words of Kurt Vonnegut Jr .."so it goes."
yes it does.
Tell me one thing though. Where do our universities find these people to set question papers ?
For my first exam. That dude but for a minor clerical error should, by all rights, be swinging from a tree in bloody Borneo...but wait, I do the Orangutans an injustice, they are much smarter than this dude who set the papers.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Hey! Its world AIDS day. It holds special significance this year, am being brutally sodomized by examinations.
After exams will relate to people full story.

Friday, November 26, 2004

Waiter: Sir. May I take your order?
A: hau.cafe latte.
W: sure sir
A: hau? sachchi mein latte?
W: (confused) turns to B.And for you?
B: a Mocha....
A: Dekh ke.Aisa mocha baar baar nahin milta..

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Why is my Baap sending me articles like this....I guess we do wierd things in my family. The difference between normal parents and mine is illustrated in this example below (I sound like a Text book, I've been studying too hard)
Ill effects of smoking: Most people's (that I know) parents tell thier kids about the ill effects of smoking by showing an example in familyor neighbourhood, eg: look at you uncle Devinder: he can't climb two stairs without gasping, he smokes 3 packs a day,look at that uncle who has cancer , its all because of smoking etc etc.
But Oh no not my parents: they downloaded a series of papers on ill effects of smoking from various journals etc and showed me, leaving me to discover ill effects of smoking by myself...

PS :It has come to my notice recently that certain members of my family have been reading this blog ...so...heheh...

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

There was a murder at Nortre Dame cathedral.The Officer in charge of investigation was looking around for clues when suddenly.(Note: all conversation was carried out,not in French but in atrocious French accent,you know, like in the Pink Panther movies).
Gendarme: Excuse me M.le Capitaine,there is a man outside seeking an audience.He says he can help with
the investigations.
M. le Capitaine: Eh?Who is it?
Gendarme: It is Quasimodo M.le C. He says he has a 'hunch'.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Instructions on a stick of deoderant: "Take Off Top, Push Up Bottom".That might explain that group of semi naked people outside the lawyers office, that would also explain why they didn't sit down when invited to do so.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Half asleep is not done.

Woken up from slumber.
mom: "Arey! what about Violet Haze"
me : "Arey! what it is? A soft rock version of the song aa? Hendrix will turn cartwheels in his grave I tell you"
mom: " Bah! Always either dreaming or day dreaming.Useless fellow. I was talking about a paint shade named
Violet Haze.Its code number is 7064. since you are goofing off, go to the hardware shop and see how
it looks."
me : (thinking to self)"arey bhai, this half asleep buisiness is koncham dangerous.Must be fully asleep from
now on"
Arey! I cant Open the CPI(ML) website. It's a pity.Some of thier propaganda used to be really amusing, as long as you do not fall intoteh trap of believing everything you read,you should be fine. In fact it was the old Dhadi walle uncle who said "Doubt everything".Marx eh? Sounds more like Fox Mulder to me.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says: " Do you know how fast you were going? Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know where I am".

Thursday, November 04, 2004

"Jab kismat hai Gaandu.Kya karega Paandu"

Friday, October 29, 2004

I work with Geniuses. or Take a Bow

Example one : bahiyon aur behnon (in radio voice) Pesh hai....Namona No ek..Genius aadmi .comes happily having weighed 1g of a certain compound.Problem, I happen to know that there is a huge queue for the analitical balances.So upon carefull interrogation fo the subject(namely "arey makeode..kidhar weigh kara".). Subject points to another balance . This seems quite all right at first glance..but wait...that was a rough balance,the minimum weight you can measure on it is 2g.This guy happened to weigh 1g on it.Shabaash. He will win the Nobel Prize someday..Or at least the Bhatnagar Award.

Example2: This guy for some reason misunderstood the procedure reading:-" carefully evaporate the compound formed in an evaporating basin over a low flame."...He somehow misread it and procede to boil the damned thing in a beaker over a high flame.He comitted another cardinal sin. He left the compound to boil and walked away.This probably saved his life, because there was an explosion.You couldnt even find pieces of the beaker.
Take a bow.

Namona 3: This dude hands me a beaker and asks me to heat it.Now since this dude has never seen teh inside of a lab before,I was a little suspicious.Now again after skillful and long interogation it comes out that the compound he wants me to heat is Pottasium Chlorate (KClO3).
KClO3 + Heat ----> heap big sound (boooom).
I abused him like crazy.fucker if he wants to cary out experiments for naxals .Why bring me into the picture?
Take a bow

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Saturday, October 23, 2004

My last post was eaten up unceremoniously, with a little help from spyware.Now ladies,gentlemen and you bunch of layabouts Presenting ,the new Australapithecus with new formatted hard disk.
Today I met an old friend of mine (from school) hence again. we catch the route 6 bus to Nostalgia.
Our conversation suddenly turned to this dude AA, our classmate.This dude, had this unique logic,which none of us understood.Or we were too drunk to understand..
so once..dude goes to friends house... ,with friends grandfather...now the dog looks at the grandfather intently.
AA goes. "Uncle...you know why that dog is looking at you?" .
Puzzled Uncle says "err.. no"
He says" Uncle it wants to express its love and admiration for you, it doesnt have words, so it shows its feelings by just looking"
Uncle: "err ok. if you say so"
One of us :(whispers ) Cunt! its looking because we are hogging mutton and it got only bread and milk"

Another day: same setting: same friends same grandfather is at the table.Conversation turns to Veg and Non-Veg.
AA: "Uncle,did you know . Fish is Veg."
Uncle: " Err....I think I will eat in my room"
We: Choke due to laughter at inconvenient moments.

We move along from there to this other dude: lets call him House Captain
So HC walks into our English class and announces before one and all "I want some girls"
All of us including the teacher laughed so hard.It took HC quite some time to realise what exactly was going on, but he got there eventually.He turned on his heel walked out and re-entered.This time he said it right, or at least that was what I was told.I was rolling around on the ground laughing.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

At the entrance to a colony near my house there used to hang a board that proclaimed:
"Non Resident dogs not allowed"
I know that it is quite normal for colonies to hang boards outside forbidding salesmen /vendors etc, but to insult people who didnt live in the colony and deny them entry, comeon man...
It hung there for a few months, and suddenly it was changed to:
"Dogs of non residents not allowed"
Does this qualify under the Panda syndrome?
you know panda: eats shoots and leaves
That reminds me of a joke about a korean restaurant opening up in town..which i will recount to the telugu speaking audience, if they dont already know it.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

One Platinum gauze electrode: 45000 Rupees
One Platinum rod electrode: 10000 Rupees.
Magnetic Stirrer: 250 Rupees
Borosil Beaker: 50 Rupees
Look on Classmates face as he drops all the above :Fuckin priceless.

Note: No debts were incurred during the above process, no animals were hurt physically (though cannot vouch for mental sate of above subject)
Price of Platinum: $855 per troy ounce
1 troy ounce = 31.1034768 g.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Arey! They used to shout VC.Down Down. Arey bhai ab to VC Down kya ,Out ich ho gaya....
We wanted a holiday tomorrow,The VC cooperated with us, he kicked the bucket, and tomorrow is a holiday.
Poor dude man. died of an asthma attack katte .Thats why people say. Chem is injurious to health ( the VC was a chemist)

Monday, October 11, 2004

Happy Birthday to the Big B

Saturday, October 09, 2004

Friday, October 08, 2004

Fornication: Procreation and Recreation. It all depends...

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Back, from more loafing around. This time I went to Sirpur,on the A.P-Maharashtra border.
One incident that sticks out: Entered this village near there (remember it is near teh Mah. border) Gues what language most of the people spoke? eh eh? nope Since I am asking it 'ougth to be obvious that the answer is not :D, well it was neither Telugu,nor Marathi...but..Bengali.Yes yes ..Once you go to this place,it is surreal, suddenly you have been transported from Telangana to Bengal. The style of huts is different, the type of farming is different, the signs are in Bengali,there was even a few dudes carving idols of the godess Durga.

Monday, September 27, 2004

Why Superhero Geek Man was never popular with the kids:

Let us examine some situations and see how our superhero reacts to them.

Case 1> Villain:(Having Trapped GM in an elctric chair type contraption) "Give it up geekman Resistance is futile."
GM: you are mistaken.The Resistance in 3.023 Kilo Ohms.

Case2 >Villain : I have got you where I want you.Now I shall relese the Kryptonite MWHAHA.
GM: excuse me. But such adn element doesn't exist.Even if it did, elements above the atomic number of 103 exist for fleeting moments...so you dont scare me.

Case 3> After rescuing pretty girl from clutches of evil overlord...Girl : "My hero" and tries to kiss him
GM: Cheeeeee. Do you know how many diseases you could catch like that?blech! yuck!!

Case4> Forget about X ray vision.Geekman had problems with his normal vision itself.little difficult to see whats behind a brick wall when your normal vision is -10.5.And in tough situations.Geekman sweated a lot and this caused his glasses to slip off,resulting in super blurred vision where he often confused a tea cosy for the villian's head, resulting in tougher situation involving his suspension over acid tanks etc, and brave girlfriend battling villian to rescue the superhero himself, tehreby resulting in a hugely popular spin-off series based on girlfirend.

now you tell me....

Saturday, September 25, 2004

Names :

Ok. I don't know what Umpire Peter Willey 's parents were thinking when they named him..I mean having a last name like Willey is bad enough without having a first name Peter I mean its like naming him Dick^2
Another remember spidey? Peter Parker that is..I wonder where he parks his peter? Mary Jane perhaps (or was it Gwen Stacy)

What about Little Richard then? thats like the opposite of self advertisement..

Closer to home...what about MrBalatkar? eh I wonder if he ever printed visiting cards (of course his name is pronounced slightly differently from you know...)

Or Mr Bhansode: man sounds like some one is calling you a cunt...
on telephone:Excuse me can I speak to Mr Bhansode :
Teri maa ki..you kids have no other work or what!making prank calls

Speaking of cunts.Came across this hilarious printing mistake once.."..classics like The Cunt of Monte Cristo.."

Saturday, September 18, 2004

It was raining,I was on the bus to Nizamabad ,gazing out of the window,when suddenly I thought I saw a signboard in Tamil .in tweety bird style,I looked again (rubbernecking.).When I shouted I did, I did i did saw a puddytat..err a signboard.Oh crap.maybe I had boarded the wrong bus and ended up in TN. when suddenly I looked at the other sign boards and order was restored.there were signboards in every language possible...man.strange. cut to next scene

Next scene..Day one of trip had been rained out.No regular birding was possible.so we decided to see the sights of Nizamabad. We went to the old fort which allegedly was originally built in the 10th century, and retouched in the 18th century by the Asaf Jahs. The fort is divided now into three.A part of it is a reform school, the second a prison, the third a temple.The temple has been renovated like a thousand other and totally ruined...but what hasn't been touched (and thank god for that),is the meditation chamber.that was amazing..cool and dark , only illumination is from a small window.the effect was amazing,I am not good enough a writer to even try and explain, so I won't.You guys catch a bus to Nizamabad and have a look for yourselves.
Later the Priest took us around and showed us places and secret exits , something that most of the locals haven't had an opportuinity to experience.(thats why I said take up birdwatching).
So after the fort, we visited a temple and a church, saw a huge owl fly out from the gopura of the temple, and a couple of small ones from the top of the church( I have heard of Bats in the Belfry,but Owls?).This was a day of Dharmic Darshans..not being particularly religious, my quota of visiting religious places has been filled for some time to come. On the way back hogged some mirchi bajjis.which were amazing (but on a stomach left empty for seven hours, not such a hot idea as i would find out a little later).A lot of extra curricular activities occured later on. cut to next day

Day 2: Started at 5 AM.It wasn't raining, so after a brief celebration with Irani chai ,we went birding.First sight when we got off the jeep were travelling in was that of a crab on the road , pincers ready for attack , It was not some pidda little crab, this was huge.Oh in case you were wondering, the road was next to a lake, this was a regular water crab and not soem new species of land crabs.(or the other type of crabs one certain Mr.Puli Raja might be familiar with).
moved on birdwatching at various locations,I wont bother you with the details(If you want details wait for a few weeks, when the members of the Birdwatchers Soc. will be subjected to yours truly, through a peice on this trip,for the mothly newsletter) Here is a sneak preview anyway.Saw a tree full of sparrows(you know the ones we dont see anymore),A dozen blackheaded munia doing a little dance just for us (nach chamia err munia..) And a white throated munia trying to get into a Baya's nest ( motive? revenge?food?theft? was it carrying on with Mrs Baya? Or was it just a poor little door to door err.. nest to nest salesbird trying to make an honest living selling avian hygiene products?)
Breakfast was at a roadside place in an obscure village(not that obscure, there was a road, and a road side eatery)
Forget AC, the place didn't even have a proper floor (wonly mud).. what they did have was amazing idlis...for me to admit that..I must have been really hungry or the idlis must be amazing . this was followed by more Birding.including a black winged kite hovering for a mintue and a half.....and amazing lunch...(birding makes you hungry)
and we set of again..to nizamsagar .Sights at Nizamsagar bus stops included 4 grey hornbills. from N'sagar we went to this remote village wich had a tree where hundreds of cormorants roosted...man what a sight...and what a smell(phew all that guano)..it was pretty late by the time we got going...we stopped in the middle for.. ahem.. necessary reasons(like operation prevention of blader blast) when someone shouted "look at the sky"...it was a spectacular sight..so many stars...and loked even more amazing with binoculars...it was like being in the planetarium(only no seat and no AC.but hey no charge even)...went back tired and crashed at round midnight...Stories of the final day...a little later...cause I've run out of time...brb same place..a little later

Friday, September 17, 2004

Today they celebrated Telangana Liberation Day.The day Telangana was liberated from the clutches of the Nizam(or so they say).Funny thing,they celebrated it in a University built by that very same Nizam. A few other students celebrated it with a rasta-roko. Well to each,his own.This time the motive must have been to set us free for the clutches of RTC busses, which took the long route and totally avoided the university for some time.

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Arey! this seminar business is one proper Brainchod.

Monday, September 13, 2004

Back from wandering around Telangana.Details to follow.shortly,after I finish this mountain of work I find I have landed in.

Monday, September 06, 2004

stolen from the net:

This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding,at the reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone totalk to the crowd. He said that he wanted to thank everyone forcoming, many from long distances, to support them at theirwedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and groom'sfamilies for coming and to thank his new father-in-law forproviding such a fabulous reception.To thank everyone for coming and bringing gifts and everything,he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift from just him.So, taped to the bottom of everyone's chair was a manilaenvelope, including the wedding party. He said that this was hisgift to everyone, and told everyone to open the envelopes.Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 picture of his best manhaving sex with the bride. He had gotten suspicious of the two ofthem and hired a private detective to trail them weeks prior tothe wedding.After he stood there and watched the people's reactions for acouple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "Fuck you," he turned to the bride and said, "Fuck you," and then he turnedto the dumbfounded crowd and said, "I'm out of here." He had themarriage annulled first thing that Monday morning.While most of us would have broken off the engagement immediatelyafter finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with itanyway as if nothing was wrong. His revenge?Making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for 300 guests at thewedding and reception, letting everyone know exactly what didhappen, and, best of all, trashing the bride's and best man'sreputations in front of all of their friends, their entirefamilies, i.e. their parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents,nieces and nephews, etc.This guy has balls the size of church bells. This is his world;we just live in it.
To be politically correct,they should rename Burma Bazaar as Myanmar Market.

Friday, September 03, 2004

Ok I've finally figured out why people say it is good to excercise early in the morning.Yup!It's so that your brain is still too groggy to realise what you are putting your body through.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Are golf balls as painful as athlete's foot?

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

A lot of old friends were in town.That brought back many memories.So where better to harass people with details of my altu-phaltu past, than here right inCyberspace .No,no I dont mean an empty plot in Cyberabad baba!And by the way baba , the babu's gone as well.so no free land now.So yes,coming back to my favourite topic, mammaries..err sorry I meant memories...Was that a Freudian slip?What! Freud wore ladies underclothing? Man he really had issues(He had six issues,the eldest being Mathilde)
So yes now memory number one (also related to my other favourite topic).This is a great example of shamelesness,of chutzpah one may say(but then again....)
Ok.Flashback to adolescence.I will not prolong the torture..in short..boy likes girl.girl kinda likes boy.but wait all is not well in the state of Denmark.There is one complication.nahin nahin..not ladki ka baap yaar..The problem is ladki ka boyfriend.So now the sole solitary purpose of our young protagonist( for a few days) was to irritate him.And those of you that know the now aged protagonist,will vouch for the fact that he can be pretty irritating at times.So what he did was....... [Suspense Type Music]

What did our unevoled friend do..does boy get ladki.does strong boyfriend beat up our hero..Tune in next time to the Altu-phaltu world of Austra's past.... ting tong.

Kya aapke baal jhad rahe hai? haan.Naya H2SO4 apnaiye...na rahega baans.na bajegi baansuri.Ting Tong.
From 'A Prisoner's Diary - FF8282'

'How are you settling in?'he asks....
"I'm fine, except for having to be locked up in such a confined space for so many hours.'
"Were you at Public School?"Mr Gates asks.
'Yes',I reply,......
'It's just that we find public school boys settle in far more quickly than you average prisoner'

Friday, August 27, 2004

Arey! Everywhere unions are creating trouble.Truckers are on strike.Even my personal situation is like Lal Jhanda union politics...Mere Kanpur meim strike hai.Nagpur mein bandh hai..what do to..Now its time for me to shout slogans also...Combiflam zindabad..Cetrizine Hydrochloride zindabad....Mucus out out.MD down down.sorry sorry...that slipped in..

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Grass is greener
Long live Kafka.Viva la Franz.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

X:Hey!Are you Tamil?
Y: No.I'm Australopithecus.Tamil is a language.
X:Bah!No.I mean..Do you speak Tamil.
Y:Well yes..I occasionally have an opportunity to murder the language..

Friday, August 20, 2004

Hey! this is my 501th post :D as i always say quantity over quality.

Today is Nagapanchami....
Speaking of which...what is the opposite of Nagapanchami?
Nag-don't punch me.

Nagpanchami is one of the most cruel festivals around..now mind you I am no fan of cobras..but even then, the treatment meted out to our non legged venomous friends(??) is inhuman to say the least.The Cobra kills for food and tp protect itself..not for some vague reason like to appease the human god by sacrificing humans...Of course we don't sacrifice snakes during nagapanchami...we remove thier venom glands,sew their mouths shut ,defanbg them...all by which,if they are not dead by the end of the day...they will be when u throw them away the next day after the drunken reveleries are finished.
We also proceed to drown them in milk.and other liquids . I dont think reptiles can digest milk...milk is digestible only by mammals..and that too young ones(mostly).
The festival supposed to celebrate the snake...ends up being one of the casues of its presence on the endangered list.
Oh.Don't mind me.I was dropped on my head as a baby.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

I have decided to constitute a new award.The Aravind Swamy Award for Histrionic Excellence.

The nominies are (drumroll).
Aravind Swami (of course)
The Female in Shaitan Tantrik (see bottom right corner of poster.she also appears in move Schoolgirl.)
Kishan Kumar.(the man with one eyebrow)
Kamal Sadhana (you remember?)
Celiena Jaitley.
The entire Cast of Hyderabad Blues (mind you it was a great flick..but actors were lousy)

And many more..please use the comments column to put forward nominations.

Monday, August 16, 2004

Learn to spell.Go to Hogwarts.

Sunday, August 15, 2004

I eat so much fried stuff that they should give me frequent fryer miles.Oil companies should give me a discount..err I mean companies that produce edible oil (down dubya,not that kind of oil).Hey! ITC produce edible oil.Great! they should give me a double discount.I am a frequent consumer of two of their products.Both of which are allegedly bad for health.I dont get it..see when we want to get rid of keeda makoda(ref old post) we fumigate right...that is exactly what I am doing..ridding my lungs of dangerous creatures..I should be more healthy after I smoke a ciggie..and even more healthy after smoking ahem organic err ciggerettes.But wait a minute what is this i hear you say that I must be in bad shape after leading this kind of unhealthy lifestyle...ha! I am in great shape..Round is a great shape init?

Thursday, August 12, 2004

X:Whats with the salad?
Y: I'm on a maintainance diet.
X: kya?
Y:yup,I'm trying to maintain "chubby" and try not to graduate to "obese"
X:Bah!! You are waste
Y: yes I am rather worried about my Waste line these days.
X: Ooooh.You'r blushinggg...
Y:balls also.
X: you are! you are!
Y:nonsense,its just a pigment of your imagination

Monday, August 09, 2004

National Geographic meals and Technicolour Dreams (from keede makode to shouting makeode.)

Today students in the Uni.(i.e. apan logan ) boycotted classes. Of course we were the happiest when we heard the student activists shouting slogans and coming to our class.So boycott we did.
The reason for all this hungama was that the staff at the hostels felt sorry for the students as cable TV was not available in the hostels. They felt that our students were missing out on a lot of educational channels and were not being exposed properly to the wonders of our world.So (they thought) If National Geographic channel was not available, they would do their best to make up for the lack of it,so they supplied the hostelites with food rich in protein.Unfortunately the protein came from insects.not one or two..but so many that you could make a NG special on it.
The students did not understand or appreciate this wonderfull gesture of the staff.. they started making rude getures of thier own..and so it began...at least we are getting some entertainment out of it. as they say..lage raho...ABCD Zindabad...
What do you call an Analytical Chemist with homicidal tendancies?


Sunday, August 08, 2004

X: Abey Maakeode..you are a complete chut...
Y: What do you mean complete chut? Many parts are missing..especially the brain.

Thursday, August 05, 2004

"Dhoolpet is famous for two things:Manja and Ganja"

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

When the Doors of Perception are cleansed, people will see what chuts they are (with apologies to Willaim Blake)
It is time for me to say something profound here...so here goes..Something Profound !! ting tong.

Universtiy is getting to me again :D so I am taking it out on the poor unsuspecting souls(all 3.65 of them) who read my blog.
Isn't it great to have a blog.

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

You HAVE to sing this to get the full effect...........

DO-RAY-ME-BEER by Homer Simpson

DOUGH.........the stuff that buys me beer....
RAY..............the guy who sells me beer.......
ME................the guy.. who drinks the beer...........
FAR...............the distance to my beer.............
SO.................I think I'll have a beer.........
LA..................La, la, la, la, la, la, beer.......
TEA...............no thanks, I'm drinking beer..........
That will bring us back to.....................DOH!

Monday, August 02, 2004

Q: Which came first the Chicken or the egg?
Ans 1: considering relativity the chicken is related to the egg..this therefore produces a ripple in the space time continuum. ie presence of the egg..leads to creation of gravity whereby egg falls and breaks..therefore,no chicken,no egg..only omlette..problem solved. no more silly questions

Ans2 : The cock cmae first.

Saturday, July 31, 2004

The ideas are good..translation is problem.What to do we are lathat only.

Friday, July 30, 2004

No one is ever completely worthless.They can at least be used as a bad example!

Monday, July 26, 2004

Third Degree Part 2:
So Australopithecus :

Do you play an instrument?
 err ..sir .I generally play the fool, blow my own trupet..but thats about it.
Have you seen a shooting star?
 well,I've seen Salman Khan does that count?
well he went to a wildlife sanctuary and did some shooting and all . But if an actor turned cameraman he would be a shooting star? 
 Have  you ever lost a friend?
That would be damned careless no?



An Englishman shot himself in the groin recently afterdrinking 15 pints of beer, and stuffing a sawed-offshotgun down his pants.
Apparently, the man was under the impression the gunwasn't fully cocked, and now he isn't either.
It said "Take Flyover to Barkatpura"
Main Socha: Arey bhai isn't this flyover a little too heavy to take to Barkatpura?

Saturday, July 24, 2004

So,Australopithecus do you read?
Yes sir, I do.
What do you read son?
Well sir, you know the usual: subtitles in movies, emails from wealthy Nigerians dying to give me money,comics and ..Oh!yes some books as well.
Oh you watch foreign films?
Err...not ..um exactly, mostly Malayalam  films sir.
Oh and who is your favourite performer there? Mamooty?Mohanlal?
Oh no sir..hehe..well...anyway..hehe try the buiscuits they are fabulous.

Aah..it is that time of the year again.The time when unsuspecting juniors join colleges.All I have to say is
Chaar aana,Aath aana,Barah aana,Rupay.
Barana Rupai...repeat (preferable while hugging a tree)


Friday, July 23, 2004

When I was in my first year in college, the glasses the chaiwallah gave tea in were pretty decently sized .Of course we didnt think so at the time.Times changed and Afzal Chaiwallah went, only to be replaced by a canteen in college. Canteen guy sold chai at the same Rs 2/-(only) per cuppa. Has been doing so for the last 4 years. I guess in this mehangai ka zamana one must cut corners,or at least cut the size of the cup.Increasing the price of Chai was not an option. that would have set of a riot. So cups got smaller and smaller untill we reach the present day, where a thimblefull of chai cost the same Rs2/-(only) ..If we were talking about bras here this would be an A size.I mean cups can't get any smaller now. unless the canteen wallah is funding frontier research in nanotech.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

It's 10 o'clock. Do you know where your brain is?

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

What it is???

Stumbled on this .From NDTV site.and to think they used to throw these away.

Bhaang ki Chutney :

50 gm bhang ke dane. 2 green chillies .3 tbsp lemon juice .2 tbsp mint leaves-chopped .3 tbsp water.1/2 tsp salt .

Roast the bhang seeds and then grind them in a mixie. Add the green chillies, lemon juice, mint leaves, water and salt and grind to a paste in a mixie.The chutney is ready.
The couple left the gynecologist's office with the wife in tears.They were just told that she could never become pregnant. Theywould never have the family they both desired so fervently.Suddenly, a masked man appeared before them."I think I can help you," he said, handing them a card."Why are you masked?" the husband asked."Because the government has declared our activities illegal. Goto the address on this card. The doctor will take a scraping fromyour mouth and culture it. In less than a year, we will have yourbaby for you."Turning to her husband, the wife exclaimed,"This is the answer to our prayers!"Then she turned back to thank the stranger but he was gone."Who was that masked man?" she asked her husband.He answered, "That was ... the Clone Arranger."

Monday, July 19, 2004

I wanted to blog about the cobra almost 'taging' a moving vehicle...but no enthu right now...stay tuned while i work it up (ie the enthu) ..tab tak ke iye aagnya dijiye.namashkar.
galti se mistook ho gaya?

Wednesday, July 14, 2004


There was an old man called Michael Finnegan,
He grew whiskers on his chinnigan.
The wind came out and blew them inigan,
Poor old Michael Finnegan... begin again.

There was an old man called Michael Finnegan,
Ran a race and thought he'd winnigin
Got so buffed that he had to go innigin
Poor old Michael Finnegan... begin again.

There was an old man called Michael Finnegan,
He kicked up an awful dinnigan
'Cause they said he must not sinnigan
Poor old Michael Finnegan... begin again.

There was an old man called Michael Finnegan,
He went fishing with the pinnican (?)
Caught a fish but walked it innigan
Poor old Michael Finnegan... begin again.

There was an old man called Michael Finnegan,
Climbed a tree and barked his shinnigan
Took off several yards of skinnigan
Poor old Michael Finnegan... begin again.

There was an old man called Michael Finnegan,
He grew fat and then grew thinnigan
And thus he died and had to beginnigan
Poor old Michael Finnegan.
If you come across a girl with kaleidoscope eyes,kindly refer her to an ophthalmologist.
Does a Seismologist carry out Earth Shaking research?

Saturday, July 10, 2004

Stolen from the net.

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest

I have come to realize that it bears a
very close resemblance to the first.

Friday, July 09, 2004

hey! the blog is over a year old:D.
Women claim that they never pursue a man.

Well, by the same token, a mousetrap never pursues a
mouse, but the end result is the same.

Thursday, July 08, 2004

Those who discourage your dreams have abandoned thier own.

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Q:What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A:Anyone can roast beef.

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

bad day?
phew.that put a new spin on things.
Jack of all trades,Master of Science....well not quite..a year to go hopefully only a year :D

Friday, July 02, 2004

Baingan,Butta...these may be just farmyard produce to many of you, but for us it holds a totally different meaning.
yes yes i've been listening to the soundtrack of Hyderabad Blues 2.so sew err sue me.
To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to all of life's problems! --- Homer Simpson.

Thursday, July 01, 2004

how tequila mocking bird.. says:all fair in lust and war

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

This phrase just popped into my head this afternoon when i was on the bus home.Kinda fits right now.

Aller anfang ist schwer.
(All begining is tough)

Long time no Deutshe sprachen or lesen or shreiben.
Ich habe alles vergessen.must do something about it.
Was ich tun kann?
Don't aim to please.Aim to kill.

Sunday, June 27, 2004

Isha Kopikar? no no. Kopi karna buri baat hai :D
If you've got asphalt see a proctologist.

Saturday, June 26, 2004

Did the Godfather have 'Vito' power?

Friday, June 25, 2004

Arey main bhi sun roon saalon se,Yeh banjara hills ,banjara hills bolke.Saalon se banra kab khatam karte ki.Phir baad mein main naam rakhtoon ban gaya hills.
Wild thing
You make my heart sing
You make everything...groovy
I said Wild thing

Wild thing, I...think I love you
But I wanna know for sure
So come on, and hold me tight
I love you


Wild thing, I...think you move me
But I wanna know for sure
So come on, and hold me tight
You move me


Wild thing

Come on, come on, wild thing
Shake it, shake it, wild thing
Wild Thing.(The Troggs)

Thursday, June 24, 2004

It's like looking for a Noodle in a haystack.

Y:Idiot.Don't you know you can't feed the horses Chinese

X:I'm not feeding him Chinese.I'm feeding him food.If I were feeding him chinese would Hiro still be walking around there?

Y:Hiro is Japanese.(check out www.alllooksame.com)

Y:err well...

Z:This seems like an amateurish attemp to rip off monty python?very very amateurish

X:Python? aargh!! I can't stand snakes.

Z:Is he special?

Y: No.He's just your common or garden variety idiot.

Z: You mean a Politician?

Y: No.Then i would have used something else to describe him.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Speaker:You see,in the month of May a lot of butterflies fly toward Charminar area. Kaiku? Namaz padne ku jaare kya? No.No.It is because Charminar is in the SouthEast.The Butterflies migrate.Where to?I dont know.
S: You see,the largest Butterfly has a wingspan of around 11 inches.
Me: Makikirkiri.
S: It is found in Papua New Guinea.You know how they captured the first one?They brought it down with a shotgun!
Me: splutter splutter

About a couple of years ago was on a trip down into the Rajiv tiger reserve.On the road we crossed this place called Dindi. there was this huge reservoir there where we stopped off for some birding.As soon as we crossed the reservior we ran into a thick dense fog ..of butterflies. butterflies to the right of us butterflies to the left of us fluttered and fluttered.(Sorry Al.)

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

The Name is Freud.Stir Freud.
I Love Bheja fry.I mean Bheja Frued
arey!! Freud ne kis liye bheja?
err sorry that was a Freudian slip?
You mean Freud wore ladies underwear?
Yes!Thats why he said one thing , but meant his mother.
Psycho the rapist at your service.
They call me a shrink because thats what I do to your bank balance.

Monday, June 14, 2004

College Fest '02:

That was baaad! All organised in bloody two days...and how!
I walk into college on fest day nice and early at 10:30 AM.These guys just pounce on me and shout"You are doing the quiz, You are doing the quiz" Senses already dull due to the early hour it took me a good 1 minute to understand the ramifications of that statement.
My reaction involved words describing the relations these various people had with closely related female and male members of thier respective families.Now I had other plans namely "Surya-Bar&Restaurant" and century wine shop, Oh yes there also was the small matter of the Saki play we were doing at that time (remember ppl?:D)
Anyway somehow or the other the questions got done.
Since the fest was done in bloody 2 days no one outside college knew about it,forget outside college.lots of people in college did not know.
They only found out about it when they were rudely awoken from thier drunken stupour by the sounds of 30000 watts blasting a zabardaast wonderfull gaana called mayadari maysammo..I think the DJ was called Nash..we called him Satya..StayaNash.(hehe,chuckle chuckle get it?)
anyway by the evening our quiz actually gotunder way when suddenly we saw this huge maar peet going on in college.Now maar peet in my college was nothing unusual.Neither was presence of police with lathis.Coming back to maar peet. It so happened that one of our revellers had a little too much to drink. So he thought that just dancing wasn't enough. He wanted some thrills. So he pulls out his knife and jumps around on the dance floor waving it about. now normally nothing would have happend.But Babu peeyeso tha na(i mean drunk ;))..so coordination went phat,and boy hit someone.now if it was a normal someone, then he would have freaked and run.but no..this guy was from my college. we collegians dont give up all that easily(well most of the time we dont).So he again described those various relatives and what he would do to them and how many times and in what all locations.To add Injury to Insult he brained him.So it started with supporters of each person going at the supporters of the other. The language used was more colourfull than anything Govinda posesses in his wardrobe.So Police (who were already posted in anticipation of such an event occurring)stopped scratching various parts of thier anatomy and got into action.They cleared college in 15 minutes flat!so we went home.but the fest didnt stop. it went on the next day I am told.I wouldn't know.I had taken up temproary residence in Surya bar where this guy asked me "katte, aapke caalez(college) mein talwaraan leke maare katte".We just laughed(we, hey! I never drink alone. I'm not an alcoholic you know,at least,not yet)
Betaaaaa...what you thought,thats a halo on my head aa?
Thats not a Halo.Thats just light reflecting off my bald spot.

Saturday, June 12, 2004

My Dad: The Next time you shave,Stand closer to the damned razor.
We attempt to answerr an age old question.
We know:
If you drop a buttered piece of bread, it will fall on the floor butter-side down.........(1)
If a cat is dropped from a window or other high and towering place, it will land on its feet.......(2)
The question now arises
But what if you attach a buttered piece of bread, butter-side up to a cat's back and toss them both out the window? Will the cat land on its feet? Or will the butter splat on the ground?
On performing Carefull thought experiments. we find that the Cat Simply doesnot fall. According to (1) We know that butter must hit the ground.
But According to law (2) The cat must land feet first.
Therefore combinging teh two equations. we get the theorey of anti-gravity. The cat just keeps floating rotating just above teh ground.
We have approached the government for funds for studying this phenomenon and its application to space travel.We feel optimum cruising heights can be obtained by varying quantity of butter on toast and weight of cat.

Thursday, June 10, 2004

Saw Yuva the other day, in Telugu that too.Most of it was good. the ending however lacked fizz.It was like cheating.The entire moive was building up nicely and in the end phusss...It was like shaking a coke bottle for three hourse and then opening it.One would expect to have coke all over the place right?But this flick,when you open the bottle all you hear is phussssss...
Ok I shall put down the bowl of sugar adn sit quietly..

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

What's the deal with fast food eh? I always thought that when you Fast you don't eat...so what the hell is this fast food for?
Arey! those fellows stole my idea for a movie..
I wanted to remake Run in Hindi..
With the caption "Bhag Bhosadi.Toofan Aaya."

You know like "I" Proud to be an Indian style.
or Daag-The Fire...that didn't make sense to me then...what was the sequel going to be? Aag-The Stain? "What it is! you cannot make me Fool(I am already one) No what I meant was..."You can not make me fool I also littal littal Englees talking."

Monday, June 07, 2004

"Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
going to a garage makes you a mechanic."
So I've discovered going to Uni. Doesn't make you a chemist either...esp if attend classes in the philosophy departement.

Thursday, June 03, 2004

My uncle John was in the fertilized egg business when I was
young. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8
or 10 roosters whose job was to fertilize the eggs. My uncle kept
records and any rooster or pullet that didn't perform well went
into the pot and was replaced.

Now this took an awful lot of time. So when my uncle saw a set of
eight tiny bells that each rang a different tone he promptly
bought them. He glued a piece of foam rubber to each clapper
shaft so the bell wouldn't ring except when violently shaken.

He hung a bell on each rooster's neck and went and mixed a Mint
Julep. Now he could sit on the porch and sip while filling out an
efficiency report on the roosters by listening to the different
tones of the bells and marking down each encounter.

My uncle's favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine
specimen he was, but his bell had not rung all morning. Uncle
John went to investigate.

Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing. Brewster
had his bell in his beak so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a
pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Uncle was so proud of Brewster he entered him in the county fair.

Brewster was an overnight sensation.

They not only awarded him the No Bell Prize but also the Pullet

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

My Reality Cheque bounced the other day. Such things ought not to occur in my reality, which is exclusive and selective.Just like the posh club, or the metal institution.Speaking of which.Here is huge "screw you" to all the people who thought that i was not commited and could never be commited to anything..Guess what guys. I've heard my people talking to the Manovikas kendra..they seem to think I will be commited there...hey wait a minute.Manovikas kendra...thats the loony bin..err Hospital For the Cure of Patients with special Mental Needs if you wnat it in Politically correct terms...commited to a loony bin...why does that term ring alarm bells somewhere...
Aah must be caused by watching one flew over the cuckoo's nest the other day...Man! Movies can't be allowed to affect ones close personal reality..at least not in this reality they can't.Its almost 2 am in my watch..I shall go and take a commercial break from this reality.courtsey "the sandman".

I've just realised that I can't write to save my life. I mean if there were a guy standing there with a gun to my head(loaded mind you).. i wouldn't be able to..hmm..maybe you could put that down to pressure..
Somehow i seem to do my best writing in exams ie my most creative..and i'm not just talking about writing OU exams.esp in school. teacher said i wrote well..im sure no one believes taht now that was like hazaar years ago..havent written since..You can't call this writing...here i usually rant..not so much rave...rant definitely...
"kya karein ji...Teen mahine se ghar ka Rant nahin diya aapne"

Holy Cow!

Found this in my Old comp finally..:D

CALCUTTA's Telegraph has got hold of an answer paper of a candidate at the
recent UPSC examinations. The candidate has written an essay on the Indian

"The cow is a successful animal. Also he is quadrupud, and because he is
female, he give milk,but will do so when he is got child.He is same like
God,sacred to Hindus and useful to man.But he has got four legs together.
Two are forward and two are afterwards.

"His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. What can it do?
Various ghee, butter,cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth.
Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally.

"His motion is slow only because he is of asitudinious species. Also his
other motion is much useful to trees, plants as well as making flat cakes in
hand and drying in the sun. Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding
after eating. Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in
the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass.

"His only attacking and defending organ is the horn, specially so when he is
got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons
to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great
velocity forwards.

"He has got tails also, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the
other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies which
alight on his cohoa body whereupon he gives hit with it.

The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is not
crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts
his eyes like his relatives, the horse does not do so.

"This is the cow."

P.S.: We are informed that the candidate passed the exam.

Sunday, May 30, 2004

Find the odd one out.
C)Santa Singh run over by a road roller.

Answer: A)Whale. The other two are crustaceans.
The answers to life's questions still lie in the hedge at the bottom of the garden.The task now is to find out which garden.
Now by the time the Answers are found the questions change.Thats the way the cookie crumbles,the rules of the game, you see?.
All questions dont have an answer. Some questions have more than one.

Comrade:This disparity should be removed.All questions should have an answer each.
What if there are more answers than questions?
Comrade: Well! then the Government will keep them and decide what too do with them and distribute it at our dicretion.
Answer:Hey! What do you mean by that! we dont agree .STRIKE!!!!
Comrade: This is a Communist country now. Strikes are illegal!!
Shoot them and drive tanks over them

Don't get carried away Comrade.You still have only 60odd seats in the Parliament..You rememebr Parliament, and elections no?This isn't China, you might have been misled when you walked down near h'nagar and n'guda seeeing all the noodle "bandis"
Q. What do you call a blind dinosaur?

A. Do-you-think-he-saur-us.
"I am the only cause I'm interested in"....Casablanca.

Thursday, May 27, 2004

The New String Theorey
A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here."
The string walks away a little upset and sits down with his friends. A few minutes later he goes back to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender, looking a little exasperated, says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve strings here."

So the string goes back to his table. Then he gets an idea. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. Then he walks back up to the bar and orders a beer.

The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?"

And the string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
Another wise guy said
"Don't criticize your Girlfriend.If she were perfect,she wouldn't be goin' out with you innit?"
I am poor Hyderabadi man,dont feed me VEG Biryani, that too in Chennai.
some wise person(guy) said
"Life is all about ass...either you are covering it,
kicking it, kissing it, or trying to get it."
Arey!Laalo Prasad has for maybe the only time in his life done something really good.He banned plastic cups in trains. use kullhands instead he said..great..good for the environment, generates employment as well.and tea tastes amazing in a kullhad.I once had 11 chais in teh middle of winter in kanpur station.the train only stopped there for half an hour.so drinking tea with a kullhad in each hand.thats where my addiction started i guess.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

pick a card any card.
pick a scandal,any scandal.
in fact create your own about dubya. here
Pick up lines:
Arey! that Vanilla coke is vile! BC!! I wouldneven give it to my worst enemy(or is that my best enemy..bah complications)
He'd go to the police station and register case for attempted murder by pilaoing paaaisan in true boss style!
And whats with that ad? alright its funny the first few dozen times. but now that Wakaowwwwwww is begining to get on my nerves. It sound like someone kicked vivek oberoi in the nether regions...hard. poor aishwarya rai.she gets no new-key to vo's apartment ;)'t
see if I start a website called bharatmatrimony or shaadi.com or whatever, they do very well, lot of people being registered on this site. (i stress on the being registered,ie by well meaning uncles and aunties).But i wonder how many people i will have registering , ok fine ill cut to the chase, i wonder how many women will "be" registered,if i open a new website called www.bhadwagiri.com or desipimp.com which are essentially providing the same basic services,y'all end up getting laid after this.
at least now i hope the comments coloumn will look lively!

Birds. I love them, all kinds,the feathered variety and more importantly the non feathered ones.
But the other day (cut to bedroom scene)
It was 6 am .I had just pulled an all nighter hoping to get those assignments in that day. Just as the sweet arms of sleep were about to envelope me in a cucoon of temproary unconsciousness ( Shh! dont argue I know that line was horrible just go with the flow man),these !$!@$#ing sunbirds appear at my window as if by magic and start chirping away as if they were on american idol.At this the sandman who was just in the act of sprinkling the sand in my eye,tehy startled him and caused him to take to his heels along wiht his precious bag of sleeping sand....but i digress...the point being,normally I would like to have a couple of sunbirds chirping thier bloody hearts away at my window.Now what makes me think that there is something strange going on is , never before nor after has any bird sung at my window!!
Its a capitalist plot i tell you, to make the poor poorer. I was short of sleep so they plotted to make me 'shorter'.

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

There was a young maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass,
Not rounded and pink,
As you probably think...
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.

Don't know who wrote it.Can anyone enlighten me (dude put away teh torch,im not talking of that kind of enlightenment! Thats a good boy, now kick it here slowly. and step away from the light switch.)
She tried to run,she tried to hide, but whatever she does Julius Ceasar.
See! this is what Coffee and Combiflam do to your brain.I'm publishing results in Neuron.
"A toast Jedidiah to love on my terms. As those are the only terms anybody ever knows. His own."....Charles Foster Kane ( Orson Welles )in Citizen Kane.
I don't cry over spilt millk.Spilt Vodka,now that's a different story.

Sunday, May 23, 2004

Coffee & Combiflam.

Y: read my blog
Y: i put dialogue from yesterdays flick
X: which one
Y: god only knows
X: which dialogues
Y: from teh film
Y: god only knows
X: Arey! WHICH FILM!!!!
Y: thats teh name

Saturday, May 22, 2004

God Only Knows!

Not a bad flick at all God Only Knows! directed and written by Bharat Dhabolkar.Funny given the current Political situation but mostly Old wine in older bottle (like the caption of one of BD's shows Oh no! Not again)

Combined Revolutionary Organisation to Change Heaven :C.R.O.T.C.H
YamRaj: Who will head this crotch?
On Defection :
Ministerji:(Like in the Bhagwad Gita) A politician is like a Soul and all Political parties just outer coverings.Atma Amar hai! It changes parties...errr clothes as and when convenient...
Fly's Spread Diseases.Keep yours Zipped.
Yamraj: I am Yamraj.
Minister: Pleased to meet you Mr.M.Raj.
Yamraj: No,No!!
Kaamdev:He has been in trouble for Bigotry!
Indra:Whats Bigotry?
K:Its having Three wives.
I:Oh!I thought that was Trignometry!
There are three stages in a mans life
Childhood,Puberty and Adultry! (Old One)
up with C.R.O.T.C.H! (symbol the digitus infamis)
In Politics,everything is permanant,only temporarily.
I think this calls for a film watching spree! Pity not one theatre is showing Reshma ki Jawani.
hmm...I logged in with something to say..now that the page has loaded..the idea does its usual vanishing act.I'm sure it will reappear,at the most inconvenient of times.Perhaps it will come to me when im having a haircut.only to dissapear the moment i log in again, or even when im miles away from the nearest computer.Oh! well till later then.

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

help im falling!

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

What Sushmita does with her boyfriend?..err Sensex?
Or is that the opposite of mad,wild sex?..hmm
maybe we should send the Sensex to Athens,for the Olympics. At least we'll get a Gold in the Diving competition.

Hey Macaroni!

For those who though Pasta would now be available on ration cards, hold your Roman Chariots and their horses....wait just a lasgna eating minute..the fat lady has not sung yet. we all made the mistake we thought she was clearing her throat to Singh , oh i meant sing (sorry Dr Manmohan). The Drama unfolds yet....so as they say in politics...No Comment.

Monday, May 17, 2004

"I am poor man ra.Six and a half inches below poverty line."
Rehab is for quitters?
Help! I am a poor boy,from the wilds of (insert name of appropriate place here), suffering from sleeeping sickness .Please forward this message to at least 1234567890 people you know and like. After forwarding this,1234567890 people wont like you so much anymore.
Please forward.For every forward Bill Gates uncle promises to donate 1 cent to help cure me of this malady.We track your messages using the most advanced technology known to aliens,operated by scantily clad Swedish women sitting in space ships orbiting Mars.
If you dont forward this message your underwear will turn carnivorous and eat your genitals.
ting tong.
very patchy

Sunday, May 16, 2004

X: You can't buy happiness.
Y(thinking to himself):No,but you can buy Old Monk.

Friday, May 14, 2004

bloggers block....ill be back. after these massages..hehe did i say massages? I meant, of course messages..those people who thought they were going to be massaged by blond,swedish girls with minimal clothing...sorrrrry.not happenin'.
Help! I'm not funny anymore. I guess it requires dose of right company..and fastly.
Elementary genetics: They said Hannibal crossed the Alps with his elephants.I wonder what the progeny would look like.
"Luca Brazi sleeps with the fishes"....Pervert.
The Chicken crossed the road..and now it sleeps with the fishes.That'll teach it to cross a road.

Thursday, May 13, 2004

self dabba

national_highway2002: good beta
khat_mal: good alpha
bheepoool: ah i was waiting for that one
bheepoool: why did u make naidu lose man?
khat_mal: we aim to please (distinguish from the army whose motto..we aim to kill)
khat_mal: no i made naidu lose votes not man
khat_mal: im blogging that
With reference to the next PM I have only one thing to say :
"Hey Mambo,Mambo Italiano."

The Great Indian Tamashas.

The Indian public has been thoroughly entertained the last few months. Our two greatest pastimes coming one after the other.Two great Tamashas Cricket and politics(poly = many ticks = bloodsucking insects btw cricket is an insect as well so does any one see a pattern emerging here?).sometimes both are so deeply interwoven,because of politics cricket doesnt happen.
The dirtiest politics are played not in Lok Sabha but in the various cricket adminstrating associations,in selection of a team,though this team i suppose would select itself,at least the squad would.

Sehwag campaigned for Saheb Singh Varma....He lost.

Govinda beat Petroleum minister Ram naik with his jhatkas and matkas and campaigning in busses and trains.

hmmm.As i write I am digging into pineapple ice cream and mangoes.

Hey!,the Left did well this time.Better than ever before.
one reson i talk so much.I was born in the year of the Bore..sorry I meant year of the Boar.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

If money doesn't grow on trees,why do banks have branches?
There was this poet,who was very ill.He said"I've never written a poem about a water bird before,I must do so before i die".
He then went looking for birds to write poems about.After looking at hazaar birds he finally narrowed it down to a tern and a swan.
Alas,before he could write a poem about a swan he took a tern for the verse.
For those who think my puns are bad,let me tell you poetry is verse.

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Remember BSA cycles (BSA-SLR etc)? Well know what BSA stands for?
katte :Birmingham Small Arms Company.
Seems they used to make rifles earlier.(so now the meaning of BSA-SLR is a little more muddled
why? SLR = self loading rifle. Earlier standard issue in the army.
So when The Birmingham Small Arms Company makes something caled an SLR.
who is going to believe that it is a harmless bicycle.
Unfair!Foul!Offside!Unsporting!Just not fair.

Monday, May 10, 2004

Hey!! New look blogger...hmm..have'nt decided wheather i like it yet.Anyway,must work with what we've got. nein?

Seems the Soviet Department of Information Services (Ministry of
Propaganda) was out in the field, taking "The Revolution" to the
people: explaining the fundamentals of Socialism to the populace
to bolster popularity.

A member of the Department was out talking to a farmer in

Official: So you see, comrade, dat it iz de way Marx explained:
"From each according to his abilities, to each according to his
needs." You understand?

Farmer: (confused) Nyet...

Official: OK. Iz like dis: Say a comrade has two cows. Ve take
one cow from him and give it to comrade that has no cow. Dat is
de Rewolution. You see?

Farmer: Da, Da! Iz good!

Official: And if a comrade has two tractors, ve take one of his
tractors and give to man who has no tractors. Da?

Farmer: Da! Da! Is WERY good!

Official: And if a comrade has two cheekens, ve give one cheeken
to man who has no cheekens. Da?

Farmer: Nyet! Iz not good!

Official: Why?

Farmer: I have two cheekens...

Saturday, May 08, 2004

"In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies."
Stephen Leacock.
"The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
Albert Einstein. (allegedly)
Have been trying to read stuff online.Can't.Just can't sit and read the way one would a book.

Computers can never replace books...I mean imagine trying to swat a fly with your laptop?

I love the smell of old books.

Too much dust in the Uni Library.Books that have hardly ever been read in 150 years.I'm not exaggerating.
Ritualistic Nonsense!!
Arey!! looks as if my blog has been running on a left agenda for sometime..what to do..with the exams around .I guess that explains why I have temproarily become a "Marks"ist.
as they shout(who boletho.student organisation fellows aka blaady raascalsu)
Student Power.Nation's Power.
Of course they also shouted
"60_60 120,Chandrababu 420"
I shouted too.
I was forced to.
went on huge rally to VC's Office and sat in a dharna...(why boletho read above) scary looking uncles claiming to be student activist boycotted classes and took us on their trip...
but being from NC im used to all at..and survival skills learnt there are pretty usefull.
so coming back to the story...RK and me stuck in dharna with police fellows looking scared there..man first time ive seen police scared was in this uni...
so anyway here we were....aah i've digressed so amny times that ive lost the thread...now not only am i looking for a needle but also a thread in the haystack.
but why would any one want to take a neeedle into teh stables? inject racehorses with various substances to alter thier performance in teh derby?
speaking of which..i must go with machchi to the races one of these days..we have been planning a race outing for about 3 years now..never materialised...

hey look mommy im puttin all my eggs...err all my thoughtt into one blog...
i guess this post is pretty disjoint...well if i were big big writer/poet dude theyd praise it and call it stream of consciousness style of writing and all that load of whatchumaycallit.
Feudal Socialism....hmm....as they said.elaborate kindly....

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

"I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to
someone who will leave them alone"- Elayne Boosler

Sunday, May 02, 2004

foreplay before the big bang?

Saturday, May 01, 2004

i didnt know this existed...:D the Communist party of USA.
somehow i found the fact that CPI(ML) 's motto is socialism,national liberation and ....hold your breath..democracy...a little ahem...errr whats the word.....well you tell me..
opsimath: n. mature student; late learner.

then what do you call a person who never learns?
clue read the"posted by " at teh end of this maybe you will get a clue...
Man!! with pollution levels being what they are sometimes i need a cigarette..just to get a breath of fresh air.
I mean getting stuck in a traffic jam in panjagutta seems worse than chain smoking a pack of midlands (Re 1 each wonly).
grrrroooaan..I have a headache...

Hau ji sab logan ku ek ich head hota hai

you seem to forget on Mr Ravan..

hmm...i wonder what he did when he had a headache
more things lurking in my inbox:

A computer was something on TV
From a science-fiction show of note
A window was something you hated to clean
And ram was the cousin of a goat

Meg was the name of my girlfriend
And gig was a job for the nights
Now they all mean different things
And that really mega bytes.

An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano.

Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3 inch Floppy
You hoped nobody found out.

Compress was something you did to the garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for a while.

Log on was adding wood to the fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode.

Cut you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu.

I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead.

Friday, April 30, 2004

play internet tennis
present sir!!..ab attendance gira..niklo...

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

"I live in Florida, and down here, they have these big
tall palm trees. It has been discovered that if you
take one of the big leaves off the tree, crush it up,
and boil it for ten minutes, the result is a very
strong laxative drink. It just goes to show that with
fronds like these, you don't need enemas."

Saturday, April 24, 2004

Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies, Demon of Gluttony
Congratulations! You are Beelzebub, also known as
Ba'alzebub, whose name derives from the
Canaanite 'Baal' meaning ''lord,' and he is
known as the 'lord of the flies.' He
corresponds to the Deadly Sin of Gluttony.

Which Demon of the Deadly Sins Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
the flick King Kong was all about "gorilla" warfare.
aaah gmail....the wonders of modern technology.all about making things easier.they give you free 1Gb storage space, easy way to search for old mail without creating folders...and most importantly they even read your mail for you!!

Friday, April 23, 2004

"I'll be a monkey's Uncle!"

Have you ever wondered how?
Thanks to the miracles of modern genetics...just minus a few ATCG 's and WHAM!!! you could be swinging from branch to branch,or maybe even setting exam papers in NC...
more on what ur comp does when ur not looking...here

exams exams

"It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has
plenty of work to do."
- Jerome K. Jerome

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

found this lurking in my inbox:

Who is Jack Schitt you ask?
The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a
loss for a response when someone says " you don't know
Jack Schitt."

Now you can intellectually handle the situation.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O Schitt. Awe
Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O Schitt,
the owner of Kneedeep N. Schitt, Inc.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the
deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie
Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and
the twins, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her
parents' wishes, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a
high school dropout. After being married 15 years,
Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Mr. Sherlock, and because her
kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her
previous name. She was then known as Noe
Schitt-Sherlock. Dip Schitt married Lotta Schitt and
they produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt.

Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable
throughout their childhood and subsequently married
the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding
announcement in the newspaper announced the
Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children
are Dawg, Byrd, and Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal
son left home to tour the world, and recently returned
from Italy with his new bride, Pisa Schitt.

So now when someone says, "you don't know Jack
Schitt", you can correct them.

Sunday, April 18, 2004

Its 3 A.M. Do you know what your computer is doing?
This maybe?

Thursday, April 15, 2004

The pun is mightier than the sword.
fuzzy logic? does that mean that you are a beard brain?

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

In conclusion

Don't Think!Do!

wazzat s'posed to mean?
incoherent thinking and muddled logic....


Deeply dippy bout the curves you've got
Deeply hot
Hot for the curves you've got
Deeply dippy bout the fun we had
Deeply mad
Mad for the fun we had

Oh... my love
I can't make head nor tail of passion
Oh...my love
Lets set sail for the seas of passion now

Deeply dippy bout the way you walk
A contact sport
Let the neighbours talk
Deeply dippy I'm your superman
I'll explain
You're my Lois Lane

Oh...my love
I can't make head nor tail of passion
Oh...my love
Lets set sail for the seas of passion now

(awh yeh)
(i said)
trumpets stop

Deeply dippy bout your spanish eyes
Sierra smile
Legs that go on for miles and miles

(awh see those legs man)

Miles and miles
I said oh...my love
I can't make head nor tail of passion
Oh..my love
So lets set sail for the seas of passion
Oh...my love
I can't make head nor tail of passion
Oh..my love
So lets set sail for the seas of passion

(I'm takin' a hot tahiti)

...... Deeply Dippy(Right Said Fred)
I love my beard.I love my beads...and ill kill anyone who tries to disposses me of them(did i get that right then?).
X: rey!! bastard fellow...pissing in the pool.I'll have you removed from the club.
Y: What it is!! many big big people have pissed in swimming pools...
X: Chutia fellow. Not from the diving board...

Sunday, April 11, 2004

Harassed by exmas so cant think...here is something for you though..

Q: What kind of aftershave do genetic researchers wear?
A: Eau de clone.

Monday, April 05, 2004

"Thoughts of a dry brain in a dry season.".......Gerontion(T.S. Eliot)
"he's so fat, he has more chins than the shanghai phone book."
yay!! i'm not losing it..i just need the right audience....:D
thank you audience.

Thursday, April 01, 2004

someone said : "Life's a bitch.If it were a slut,at least it would be 'easy'"
X: Arey!!! Exams are coming and you waste fellow . you are reading das kapital?
aren't you worried about exams?
Y: yes, i am rather concerned about my Marx
so what does a six year old,trapped in the body of a twentyone year old do?
help help...humour deserting me...imagine me-humour....man that would be wierd...scares me even.....aargh i'm begining to talk like snagglepuss even.
it's all a Trafalmagorian plot I tell you.

The mice won't be happy....
my other blog was funnier.

just like my other car is a merc.
Why be difficult? Put some effort in and be impossible.

Wednesday, March 31, 2004

but confucius also say:He who sniffs coke drowns.
X: Arey!Mera Baap Top insaan hai.
Y: that means you'r a son of a gun eh?
Confucius really say:Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.

Monday, March 29, 2004

X:You idiot.don't you know Olga Danseofski is the most famous ballerina that Warsaw has ever seen. And you go call her a pole dancer.
Y:well she's Polish isn't she.

Sunday, March 28, 2004

"There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge"....Bertrand Russell
thats why quiz contests are so popular..and are so much fun...well at least they are when you know the answers..
amazing essay that one...useless knowledge..
read it long time ago in a collection of essays.the book was called 'in praise of idleness' thats why i picked it up..and here every one was thinking i suddenly became intellectual and all.hard cheese.
Some people say the glass is half empty. some people say...where the hell is the waiter...
ha! and they thought i was going to pull the vodka joke....
"I am not young enough to know everything."
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

as that person said." when you do your B.Sc. you think you know a lot of Chemistry.When you do your M.Sc. you realise you dont know any Chemistry.
and by the time you actually finish your Phd. everyone realizes you dont know any Chemistry."

I am in Stage 2.
bah!! don't screw it up....tahts what im hearing from all quarters...
why does everyone believe that i'm so inept? I mean is it writen all over my face...do i hold aloft a banner that reads..yo!! inept dude on prowl...cant do anything right yeah thats me....


afterthought:must be one heck of a banner if it reads...can i hire it?...

Saturday, March 27, 2004

some dude said...
"make war ,not love...it's safer."
...poor fellow.
earworm:Dil Dhadke (Baba Sehgal)

oh get out get out...someone get that out of my head....
hmmm actually coming to think of it not the worst song in the world..

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

can't think of anything funny to say....daaaammnnn.......

im not breaking any records..just my head.over records...
that was so sad that even i feel a little sick....

my eyelids feel as if they are weighed down by 10 kilo dumbells.trying to pull the shutters down as fast as in old city during a riot...

i have no idea what i've just typed.and i dont care either.im typing and its not registering in my head.

this is better than being stoned....it doesnt damage your lungs..still damages your brains...and no money spent either.....

slowly losing....


Sunday, March 21, 2004

"Here's champagne to our real friends...
...and real pain to our sham friends"
me: aargh. sidey joke.
J: no baap its all economics. its an economical joke...
me: eh?
J: yeah . it's a cheap joke..

Friday, March 19, 2004

speaking of rassi...reminded of ancient hyderabadi saying.with japanese subtitles
"Char ane ke bandar ku barah ane ka rassi.."

new bondage series
Rassi jaisi koi nahin...
Do you suffer from kracked Heils?
Don't upset the Fuhrer with kracked heils...use..krack cream...

krack cream....Sieg Heil....

Thursday, March 18, 2004

earworm: jhini(indian ocean)

had an interesting conversation with grandparents.about music..,happened after i introduced tehm to indian ocean...of course i dont mean personally introduced tehm to the band:D

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

"Misers aren't fun to live with, but they make wonderful
- David Brenner
zabardast song....listened ot it after 10 long years :D
used to be the theme song of this series called "tour of duty"..zabardast series it was....

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

I see a line of cars and they're all painted black
With flowers and my love, both never to come back
I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
Like a newborn baby it just happens ev'ryday

I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door and it has been painted black
Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts
It's not easy facing up when your whole world is black

No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue
I could not forsee this thing happening to you
If I look hard enough into the setting sun
My love will laugh with me before the morning comes
.........Paint it Black(The Rolling Stones)
as they say..."Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on
your front door forever"

Saturday, March 13, 2004

Aaj kal ke bachche....

Kids never had it so good ever.I guess thats what all old people say.Including the old dude who said"when i was your age ,i used to walk from madurai to trichy to visit relatives.and you fellows going in buses and all..."
aaj kal ke bachche hang around in places like cafe cofee day and shoppers stop..
of course an excuse would be that when i was a kid CCD and SS did not exist(see i use abbreviations ...i'm hep)
when i was that age (i'm turning into aforementioned old dude..aaaargh..) i'd consider myself rich if i had 10 bucks...for that meant i could escape tuesday lunch and eat in bakers house....that was high point..only place where we had money to go on out own..everywhere else it was under parental guidance...so that meant one couldn't have as much fun as one wanted to..
where do these kids of the internet generation get money from..have aaj kal ke parents become very dayaloo?..if so lead me to the counter where i can exchange my own old model kanjoos type parents for this new model..
or if the kids do have other sources of income ..lead me to it..because even though im old..10 bucks is still hard to come by :D
so if i buy dope on credit.does that mean i have a joint account?
mike testing 123...how are you mike?

Sunday, March 07, 2004

darymple babu wrote about dilli me thinks it was in city of djinns...well me im going to write story on hyd. called city of gudumba.

Saturday, March 06, 2004


Kyon apni kabar khod raha hai Galib
Kyon apni kabra khod raha hai Galib
La,Fawda Mujhe de.

Thursday, March 04, 2004

or was it like a bulbul in a chinachina shop?
......with grace and panache, like a bull in a china shop......
she said:"Baap,We are actually doing social service.See ,when other people get depressed and think that they are waste,loser candidates. they see us and realise that they are not that bad after all.so we actually prevent many suicides by being such losers"


Monday, March 01, 2004

Baap.I hear that you are a chain smoker....

Lies .Lies..Damned lies all of it...I've never smoked a chain in my life.
Are you often troubled by indecent thoughts?

What? Oh no.I rather enjoy them."

Sunday, February 29, 2004

speaking of beekeeping...this is called applying madu dimakh...:D

When Mrs Gorm (Aunt Eloise)
Was stung to death by savage bees,
Her husband (Prebendary Gorm)
Put on his veil, and took the swarm.
He's publishing a book next May
On 'How to Make Bee-Keeping Pay'.
............Harry Graham (methinks)

Saturday, February 28, 2004

one good thing about Hutch is that its ads have great music...some real old half forgotten gems.truly zabardast...must find them online..piracy zindabad.
To Prove : Beauty is in Edmund Hillary's eye..

we know: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder......(1)
Beholder sounds like Bee-holder ........(2)
hold and keep...preety much similar........(3)
applying the approximation (put some high funda name like Born-Oppenhiemer etc)
Edmund Hillary was a beekeeper....(4)
hence substituting (4) we get...
Beauty is in the eye of Edmund Hillary....(5)
rearrange...(5) we get....
Beauty is in Edmund Hillary's eye..

Proved QED..

women's lib activist: Free Women! Free Women!
dude : Great!! do you deliver?

hehe am i a chauvanist or what .:D

Friday, February 27, 2004

great pics
I hab a code im my dose.

Thursday, February 26, 2004

die Wanderlust....I guess that sums it up.

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

what the women's libber said: free women,chain mails:D

speaking of chain mail.i'm sick and tired of getting emails that go...my name is zibzibzippy.i live in a poor country(never mind the nae, its usually one u've never heard off)
i have an ugly grotesque growth on my face...(maybe its yer nose...)
or i have a third tit growing on my forehead. and by forwarding this message to about 1233143 of your friends bill gates will pay me 10 cents for each friend you send this to, who in turn will get full guilt trip about poor people living in...whatchamaycallit land all with three three tits..if u dont send the mail your undies will become carnivorous and eat your genitals.
come on maaaaan who believes that .billy is full anda fellow or what to give 10 10 cents lathat...or another one where billy will pay YOU to forward the mesage int eh process create full spam...
even worse is those chain mails that in my bachpan came by regular mail.
stuff that was allegedly started hazaar years ago in germany by two brothers who had way too much time on thier hands and then smuggled into turkey ,persia and afghanistan and finally across the khyber pass by disco dancing eunuchs in pink tights,across the thar by dwarves with itchy jockstraps etc etc untill it reahed u..now u must send a pair of your used undies to 1st fellow whose name is on the list.....
screw it all...chain mail is a menance and it should be dealt with...with extreme prejudice....so if u do send chain mail...may your undies turn carnivorous too....

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

preserve your memories
they're all that's left you.
-Simon & Garfunkel.
sweet memories.of 'xpressions gone by,of things that were....
well at least today did a couple of things i've always wanted to do ;)

two amazingly fun filled days.....sigh....tomorrow back to the bloody grind....
i want to go back to NC.......

Monday, February 23, 2004

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour...
Why is industrial productivity so low in my ooru?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi.
when in Rome,do.

Saturday, February 21, 2004

its a miracle that china has such a huge population,considering the fact that there have never been elections in china..ever..
h nuy7878uiyh

that was me banging my head on the keyboard...repeatedly.

Friday, February 20, 2004

come on in.the insanity's fine.
can a shoe box?
no,but a tin can.
what kind of ghost haunt chemistry labs?
methylated spirits...:D
me and a friend are partners in the marijuana buisiness...let's call it a joint venture.well if thats the family business....are u in a joint family?
if u and a friend have grass carrying belt pouches..can u be joint at the hip?
if the chief of the armed forces smoked pot would be be the joint chief of staff?

Oxidants happen..as they say....adjust and manipulate..

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

"If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?" ...........Lilly Tomlin.

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

X:hey, thats guy's Marxist.
Y: i'm Lennonist my self.
X: eh?
Y: I'm a Beatles fan..

Sunday, February 15, 2004

Sitting on that rock..watching the monsoon roll in. the smell of rain in the air.the wind almost pushing us off the rock,almost tearing shirts off..
walking back home in the warm rain,drenched to the bone.
A hot bath and later some pakodas and chai.watching the rain
.sigh.....jane kahan gaye woh din....
Watching that huge cloud bank roll in was truly amazing. facing this huge mass of black clouds,moving toward us at an amazing rate.behind us the sky was a brilliant blue..the contrast was amazing.
I had a lot of fun on that rock..and a different kind of fun on another rock(The Rock!!) many years later. and i love rock music..do we see a pattern emerging here?

Saturday, February 14, 2004

oh non-sensei....I want to take part in American Idle competition saar..I'm sure I'll win...

Friday, February 13, 2004

my sis: "what purpose do cockroaches have on this planet, other than to freak me out?"
we used to tear their legs off ...all in the name of biology...to make thigh muscle fibre slides..
we discovered that cockroaches can survive beheading.so maybe that makes it difficult to have a french revolution among roaches...even the queen of hearts will have problems .
the guy who taught me to make a joint....my roll model.
hey!!! today's Friday the 13th....wheres that Jason dude?
just because no one understands you doesn't mean that you are an artist
came across these stickers..about tomorrow.

Happy Corporate-Endorsed Love-Themed Merchandising Day.

Oh swell,Valentine's day,whoopee.I'm giddy with synthetic emotion.

Thursday, February 12, 2004

Of course I can keep a secret.It's the people I tell it to who can't.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

X: theory of realtivity--where there is a will,there are realtives
Y: Shhhh.....you dont seem to understand the gravity of the situation.

Monday, February 09, 2004

When was the Last time you saw a Sparrow?

Well the answer to that question would be.. on Saturday..not one..but about 10 of them,and at the most unexpected of places..the Railway station.
..err at least i thought they were sparrows..but since i havent seen one for so long I might have actually forgotten what they looked like..
Nowadays I dont see birds that used to be common when I was younger . this might sound like some old geezer saying in my days we walked everywhere..even to Trichy. But think about it...Crows ,egrets,sparrows, thats right pretty common right, at least they used to be,even if you do see them, its not as often as before. And im not even talking about exotic birds we used to see in the city..Vultures..but there has been a global decline in vulture population..even the sparrow problm i'm told transcends borders,regions etc. They are studying this phenomenon in england katte...
result of the pressure we are putting on the environment?
it would be interesting to listen to an entymologist's take on this.effect on distribtion/density of insect population.
So when was the last time you saw a sparrow?

Sunday, February 08, 2004

So funds for Sulabh International are Loo Grants?

Don't blame me if you didnt watch/haven't heard of the serial.

Friday, February 06, 2004

a great day.....so far..sigh..but all things good must come to an end..so someone please take me drunk ,i'm home.

Thursday, February 05, 2004

Thank you, thank you.
Who'd have thunk it?

Remember Unchained Melody? eh?eh?
well the last thing you would associate the song with is jail init?
WRONG!! katte song was first used in flick "Unchained"(1955)..sung by dude by the name of Al Hibbler. About life of some Prison Guard.flick based on prison life in California Institute of Men (what kind of name is that..i mean..what do they teach there)..full far cry from "Ghost" eh? eh?

Monday, February 02, 2004

The original Catch 22.
"Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't , but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to. "
thought: didn't the great depression in america come after prohibition?
hmm .if so we know why don't we?
When S'bad was first built, there existed on the road, numerous potholes, someof which are still being maintained intact by the archeological survey of India.
"It is dangerous to let the public behind the scenes. They are easily disillusioned and then they are angry with you, for it was the illusion they loved. " -Somerset Maugham.

Theek bola.Illusion.Thats what everyone wants.An illusion of controll,of greatness of whatever.
It's very comforting to hang on to some illusion even though you yourself know that its not true.
fooling oneself is fun. it is even easier than fooling other people.
>everything is different,yet it is all the same...
: deeeeep maaaaan.what have you been smoking?
>nothing matters anymore man...nothing really matters..
:wait i know this song...bohemian rhapsody.queen..

Saturday, January 31, 2004

was oscar wilde?
speaking of which:

Song Title: ##You are my Chicken Fry##
Movie Name: Rock Dancer
Singer(s): Bappi Lahiri, Sweta Shetty
Music Director(s): Bappi Lahiri

b: (## You are my chicken fry
You are my fish fry##) - 2
(kabhii naa kahanaa ku.Diye ##bye bye bye##) -2

s: (## You are my samosa
You are my masala dosa##) - 2
(mai.n naa kahuu.ngii mu.nDiyaa ##bye bye bye## ) - 2

b: haa ... haa ... haa ... haa ...

(s: saraso.n kaa tU saag hai
mai.n makke kii roTii
b: jo bhii tujhako dekhe
ho jaaye ?? goTii ) - 2

s: (## You are my chocolate
You are my cutlet [cut-uh-let]##) - 2
(mai.n naa kahuu.ngii mu.nDiyaa ##bye bye bye##)

b: (## You are my chicken fry
You are my fish fry##) - 2
(kabhii naa kehenaa ku.Diye ##bye bye bye## ) -2

b: haa ... haa ... haa ... haa ...

(b: garamaa garam tanduurii tU hai
mai.n to aa.Nkhe.n sekuu.n
s: mu.nh me.n paanii aajaataa hai
jab mai.n tujhako dekhU.N ) - 2

b: (## You are my rossogolla
You are my rasmalai##) - 2
kabhii naa kahanaa ku.Diye ##bye bye bye##
vote for bappi da.
this new years when i was driving home from the party,i managed to get stuck in a traffic jam at around 1 am. thats right...but what made it fun was ,i was stuck next to an auto blasting bappi lahiri hits..guy gave some great music in the 80s. then again there were songs like 'you are my chicken fry' etc which though i loved, weren't critically acclaimed..who can forget 'auwa auwa' that mithun da hit from disco dancer .direct lift from video killed the radio star.many others like that.last year he sued someone for playing kalion ka chaman in thier video.is this what they call chutzpah or what.
anyone got a worst of collection of bappi lahiris? its as enjoyable as the best of.....
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can
do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
It's actually not that bad when days get off to lousy starts. At least that way you know where you are and you expect the worst anyway.Not like those days when everythings seems bloody hunky-dory and suddenly you get kicked in the cobblers.
Speaking of cobblers. why do they call Holland the Netherregion..oh sorry my mistake, its nedherlands is it? spelling mistook..kya karen....hota hai..
This reminds me of the old question..if people from Poland are called Poles what are people from Holland called? yes yes Dutch..i know everyone is full kilever ..so let me ask you this maybe you can help me out eh? would you call a woman from Holland a "Dutch"ess? May I present the Dutches of Amstredam.
Amstredam ..is that a really foul word? beause when i said damn in school the teacher kicked my out of class..but the very next class was geography and the teacher kept saying AmstrDAM.
I'm sure everyone has read the story of the boy who saved Holland by sticking his finger where it didnt belong..no no get your minds out of thegutter. he stuck it in a dyke to plug a leak and so saved Holland from floods.

Thursday, January 29, 2004