Monday, September 27, 2004

Why Superhero Geek Man was never popular with the kids:

Let us examine some situations and see how our superhero reacts to them.

Case 1> Villain:(Having Trapped GM in an elctric chair type contraption) "Give it up geekman Resistance is futile."
GM: you are mistaken.The Resistance in 3.023 Kilo Ohms.

Case2 >Villain : I have got you where I want you.Now I shall relese the Kryptonite MWHAHA.
GM: excuse me. But such adn element doesn't exist.Even if it did, elements above the atomic number of 103 exist for fleeting you dont scare me.

Case 3> After rescuing pretty girl from clutches of evil overlord...Girl : "My hero" and tries to kiss him
GM: Cheeeeee. Do you know how many diseases you could catch like that?blech! yuck!!

Case4> Forget about X ray vision.Geekman had problems with his normal vision itself.little difficult to see whats behind a brick wall when your normal vision is -10.5.And in tough situations.Geekman sweated a lot and this caused his glasses to slip off,resulting in super blurred vision where he often confused a tea cosy for the villian's head, resulting in tougher situation involving his suspension over acid tanks etc, and brave girlfriend battling villian to rescue the superhero himself, tehreby resulting in a hugely popular spin-off series based on girlfirend.

now you tell me....

Saturday, September 25, 2004

Names :

Ok. I don't know what Umpire Peter Willey 's parents were thinking when they named him..I mean having a last name like Willey is bad enough without having a first name Peter I mean its like naming him Dick^2
Another remember spidey? Peter Parker that is..I wonder where he parks his peter? Mary Jane perhaps (or was it Gwen Stacy)

What about Little Richard then? thats like the opposite of self advertisement..

Closer to home...what about MrBalatkar? eh I wonder if he ever printed visiting cards (of course his name is pronounced slightly differently from you know...)

Or Mr Bhansode: man sounds like some one is calling you a cunt...
on telephone:Excuse me can I speak to Mr Bhansode :
Teri maa kids have no other work or what!making prank calls

Speaking of cunts.Came across this hilarious printing mistake once.."..classics like The Cunt of Monte Cristo.."

Saturday, September 18, 2004

It was raining,I was on the bus to Nizamabad ,gazing out of the window,when suddenly I thought I saw a signboard in Tamil .in tweety bird style,I looked again (rubbernecking.).When I shouted I did, I did i did saw a puddytat..err a signboard.Oh crap.maybe I had boarded the wrong bus and ended up in TN. when suddenly I looked at the other sign boards and order was restored.there were signboards in every language cut to next scene

Next scene..Day one of trip had been rained out.No regular birding was we decided to see the sights of Nizamabad. We went to the old fort which allegedly was originally built in the 10th century, and retouched in the 18th century by the Asaf Jahs. The fort is divided now into three.A part of it is a reform school, the second a prison, the third a temple.The temple has been renovated like a thousand other and totally ruined...but what hasn't been touched (and thank god for that),is the meditation chamber.that was and dark , only illumination is from a small window.the effect was amazing,I am not good enough a writer to even try and explain, so I won't.You guys catch a bus to Nizamabad and have a look for yourselves.
Later the Priest took us around and showed us places and secret exits , something that most of the locals haven't had an opportuinity to experience.(thats why I said take up birdwatching).
So after the fort, we visited a temple and a church, saw a huge owl fly out from the gopura of the temple, and a couple of small ones from the top of the church( I have heard of Bats in the Belfry,but Owls?).This was a day of Dharmic Darshans..not being particularly religious, my quota of visiting religious places has been filled for some time to come. On the way back hogged some mirchi bajjis.which were amazing (but on a stomach left empty for seven hours, not such a hot idea as i would find out a little later).A lot of extra curricular activities occured later on. cut to next day

Day 2: Started at 5 AM.It wasn't raining, so after a brief celebration with Irani chai ,we went birding.First sight when we got off the jeep were travelling in was that of a crab on the road , pincers ready for attack , It was not some pidda little crab, this was huge.Oh in case you were wondering, the road was next to a lake, this was a regular water crab and not soem new species of land crabs.(or the other type of crabs one certain Mr.Puli Raja might be familiar with).
moved on birdwatching at various locations,I wont bother you with the details(If you want details wait for a few weeks, when the members of the Birdwatchers Soc. will be subjected to yours truly, through a peice on this trip,for the mothly newsletter) Here is a sneak preview anyway.Saw a tree full of sparrows(you know the ones we dont see anymore),A dozen blackheaded munia doing a little dance just for us (nach chamia err munia..) And a white throated munia trying to get into a Baya's nest ( motive? revenge?food?theft? was it carrying on with Mrs Baya? Or was it just a poor little door to door err.. nest to nest salesbird trying to make an honest living selling avian hygiene products?)
Breakfast was at a roadside place in an obscure village(not that obscure, there was a road, and a road side eatery)
Forget AC, the place didn't even have a proper floor (wonly mud).. what they did have was amazing idlis...for me to admit that..I must have been really hungry or the idlis must be amazing . this was followed by more Birding.including a black winged kite hovering for a mintue and a half.....and amazing lunch...(birding makes you hungry)
and we set of nizamsagar .Sights at Nizamsagar bus stops included 4 grey hornbills. from N'sagar we went to this remote village wich had a tree where hundreds of cormorants what a sight...and what a smell(phew all that guano) was pretty late by the time we got going...we stopped in the middle for.. ahem.. necessary reasons(like operation prevention of blader blast) when someone shouted "look at the sky" was a spectacular many stars...and loked even more amazing with was like being in the planetarium(only no seat and no AC.but hey no charge even)...went back tired and crashed at round midnight...Stories of the final day...a little later...cause I've run out of time...brb same place..a little later

Friday, September 17, 2004

Today they celebrated Telangana Liberation Day.The day Telangana was liberated from the clutches of the Nizam(or so they say).Funny thing,they celebrated it in a University built by that very same Nizam. A few other students celebrated it with a rasta-roko. Well to each,his own.This time the motive must have been to set us free for the clutches of RTC busses, which took the long route and totally avoided the university for some time.

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Arey! this seminar business is one proper Brainchod.

Monday, September 13, 2004

Back from wandering around Telangana.Details to follow.shortly,after I finish this mountain of work I find I have landed in.

Monday, September 06, 2004

stolen from the net:

This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding,at the reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone totalk to the crowd. He said that he wanted to thank everyone forcoming, many from long distances, to support them at theirwedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and groom'sfamilies for coming and to thank his new father-in-law forproviding such a fabulous reception.To thank everyone for coming and bringing gifts and everything,he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift from just him.So, taped to the bottom of everyone's chair was a manilaenvelope, including the wedding party. He said that this was hisgift to everyone, and told everyone to open the envelopes.Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 picture of his best manhaving sex with the bride. He had gotten suspicious of the two ofthem and hired a private detective to trail them weeks prior tothe wedding.After he stood there and watched the people's reactions for acouple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "Fuck you," he turned to the bride and said, "Fuck you," and then he turnedto the dumbfounded crowd and said, "I'm out of here." He had themarriage annulled first thing that Monday morning.While most of us would have broken off the engagement immediatelyafter finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with itanyway as if nothing was wrong. His revenge?Making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for 300 guests at thewedding and reception, letting everyone know exactly what didhappen, and, best of all, trashing the bride's and best man'sreputations in front of all of their friends, their entirefamilies, i.e. their parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents,nieces and nephews, etc.This guy has balls the size of church bells. This is his world;we just live in it.
To be politically correct,they should rename Burma Bazaar as Myanmar Market.

Friday, September 03, 2004

Ok I've finally figured out why people say it is good to excercise early in the morning.Yup!It's so that your brain is still too groggy to realise what you are putting your body through.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Are golf balls as painful as athlete's foot?