Friday, October 29, 2004

I work with Geniuses. or Take a Bow

Example one : bahiyon aur behnon (in radio voice) Pesh hai....Namona No ek..Genius aadmi .comes happily having weighed 1g of a certain compound.Problem, I happen to know that there is a huge queue for the analitical balances.So upon carefull interrogation fo the subject(namely "arey makeode..kidhar weigh kara".). Subject points to another balance . This seems quite all right at first glance..but wait...that was a rough balance,the minimum weight you can measure on it is 2g.This guy happened to weigh 1g on it.Shabaash. He will win the Nobel Prize someday..Or at least the Bhatnagar Award.

Example2: This guy for some reason misunderstood the procedure reading:-" carefully evaporate the compound formed in an evaporating basin over a low flame."...He somehow misread it and procede to boil the damned thing in a beaker over a high flame.He comitted another cardinal sin. He left the compound to boil and walked away.This probably saved his life, because there was an explosion.You couldnt even find pieces of the beaker.
Take a bow.

Namona 3: This dude hands me a beaker and asks me to heat it.Now since this dude has never seen teh inside of a lab before,I was a little suspicious.Now again after skillful and long interogation it comes out that the compound he wants me to heat is Pottasium Chlorate (KClO3).
KClO3 + Heat ----> heap big sound (boooom).
I abused him like crazy.fucker if he wants to cary out experiments for naxals .Why bring me into the picture?
Take a bow

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Saturday, October 23, 2004

My last post was eaten up unceremoniously, with a little help from spyware.Now ladies,gentlemen and you bunch of layabouts Presenting ,the new Australapithecus with new formatted hard disk.
Today I met an old friend of mine (from school) hence again. we catch the route 6 bus to Nostalgia.
Our conversation suddenly turned to this dude AA, our classmate.This dude, had this unique logic,which none of us understood.Or we were too drunk to understand..
so once..dude goes to friends house... ,with friends the dog looks at the grandfather intently.
AA goes. " know why that dog is looking at you?" .
Puzzled Uncle says "err.. no"
He says" Uncle it wants to express its love and admiration for you, it doesnt have words, so it shows its feelings by just looking"
Uncle: "err ok. if you say so"
One of us :(whispers ) Cunt! its looking because we are hogging mutton and it got only bread and milk"

Another day: same setting: same friends same grandfather is at the table.Conversation turns to Veg and Non-Veg.
AA: "Uncle,did you know . Fish is Veg."
Uncle: " Err....I think I will eat in my room"
We: Choke due to laughter at inconvenient moments.

We move along from there to this other dude: lets call him House Captain
So HC walks into our English class and announces before one and all "I want some girls"
All of us including the teacher laughed so hard.It took HC quite some time to realise what exactly was going on, but he got there eventually.He turned on his heel walked out and re-entered.This time he said it right, or at least that was what I was told.I was rolling around on the ground laughing.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

At the entrance to a colony near my house there used to hang a board that proclaimed:
"Non Resident dogs not allowed"
I know that it is quite normal for colonies to hang boards outside forbidding salesmen /vendors etc, but to insult people who didnt live in the colony and deny them entry, comeon man...
It hung there for a few months, and suddenly it was changed to:
"Dogs of non residents not allowed"
Does this qualify under the Panda syndrome?
you know panda: eats shoots and leaves
That reminds me of a joke about a korean restaurant opening up in town..which i will recount to the telugu speaking audience, if they dont already know it.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

One Platinum gauze electrode: 45000 Rupees
One Platinum rod electrode: 10000 Rupees.
Magnetic Stirrer: 250 Rupees
Borosil Beaker: 50 Rupees
Look on Classmates face as he drops all the above :Fuckin priceless.

Note: No debts were incurred during the above process, no animals were hurt physically (though cannot vouch for mental sate of above subject)
Price of Platinum: $855 per troy ounce
1 troy ounce = 31.1034768 g.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Arey! They used to shout VC.Down Down. Arey bhai ab to VC Down kya ,Out ich ho gaya....
We wanted a holiday tomorrow,The VC cooperated with us, he kicked the bucket, and tomorrow is a holiday.
Poor dude man. died of an asthma attack katte .Thats why people say. Chem is injurious to health ( the VC was a chemist)

Monday, October 11, 2004

Happy Birthday to the Big B

Saturday, October 09, 2004

Friday, October 08, 2004

Fornication: Procreation and Recreation. It all depends...

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Back, from more loafing around. This time I went to Sirpur,on the A.P-Maharashtra border.
One incident that sticks out: Entered this village near there (remember it is near teh Mah. border) Gues what language most of the people spoke? eh eh? nope Since I am asking it 'ougth to be obvious that the answer is not :D, well it was neither Telugu,nor Marathi...but..Bengali.Yes yes ..Once you go to this place,it is surreal, suddenly you have been transported from Telangana to Bengal. The style of huts is different, the type of farming is different, the signs are in Bengali,there was even a few dudes carving idols of the godess Durga.