Monday, August 29, 2005

Please read this post for MBD guide....

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The full sign reads Anus Hair styling and beauty parlour..
Thanks to R..who took the photo..just to get me to shut up.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Burkina Faso

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Read the advertisement for some Educational Consultants "Visa and Financial Aids guaranteed" Financial AIDS? Nakko! I've heard of being screwed by educational consultants, but this is littel too much don't you think?
Well there are others that promise you affordable education and guaranteed Visa to Bulgaria, or Burkina Faso type places.Burkina Faso..Does it even have a counsulate in India ? Oh and I haven't even started on those shady job and auto consultants.

Q:If you see a consultant on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle.

Edit: I have been informed that Burkina Faso does indeed have an embassy in India
Embassy of Burkina Faso in IndiaG-5, Anand Niketan110021New Delhi

Monday, August 22, 2005

Arey Sholay is now being remade.We all know who is playing Gabbar Singh.Since this is the case im sure teh dialogues would undergo a little modification

Scene: Gabbar is walking on rock playing with his...belt.

GS: (Hain)Kitne aadmi the?(hain)
A: Sardar...Do aadmi the.
GS: SAHI JAWAAB! Aap jeettein hain ek hazaar rupay.(Kaash mein un dono aadmiyon ko lock kar sakta)
GS : Arey o Samba! kitna inaam sarkar rakhe hain hum par?
Samba: Purey Pachas Hazaar.
GS: Sahi Jawaab.Sarkaar ne hume lock kar ne ko pure pachaas hazaar inam rakhe hain(hain)
lekin pachas hazaar kyon(hain?) jab aap jeet sakte hain umeed se dugna!
GS: Yahan se 50 - 50 kos door gaon mein(nahin nahin [hain!]yeh life line wala fifty fity nahin hain) jab bachcha
raat ko rota hai to maa kehti hain ki 'beta so jao nahin to gabbar uncle hot seat pe bithayega'.

GS: Kitni goli hai iske andar?
B: huh?
GS: Kitni goli hai?(hain?)
B : 6 sardar
GS: 6 Goli aur aadmi 3.Ab main in 3 haramzadon ko 2-2 goli maroonga
B: hain! Leking part 1 mein Gabbar ek goli hi maarta hai.
GS: yeh mera naya slogan hai(n). Umeed se dugna!

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Old Chemists never die.We just stop reacting.

My name is Bond, Ionic Bond;
Taken, not shared!

What does one do if one can't zwim? Zinc

What does one do with a dead body? Barium in a krypt-on
Maybe he was killed oxydentally.
They should have seen the doctor first, he'd Curium.
Ah, barium anyway, just to see how he reacts.better though to have helium.

Florence Flask was ... dressing for the opera when she turned to herhusband and screamed, "Erlenmeyer! My joules! Someone has stolen myjoules!""Now, now, my dear," replied her husband, "keep your balance and refluxa moment. Perhaps they're mislead.""No, I know they're stolen," cried Florence. "I remember putting them in my burette ... We must call a copper."Erlenmeyer did so, and the flatfoot who turned up, one Sherlock Ohms,said the outrage looked like the work of an arch-criminal by the nameof Lawrence Ium."We must be careful -- he's a free radical, ultraviolet, anddangerous. His girlfriend is a chlorine at the Palladium. Maybe I cancatch him there." With that, he jumped on his carbon cycle in anactivated state and sped off along the reaction pathway ... -- Daniel B. Murphy, "Precipitations"

See H20 is water,what is H204?

Monday, August 08, 2005

Neutrons have mass aa? I didn't know they were Catholic!

Sunday, August 07, 2005

The problem with movies these days, is that even low budget ,loser types are well packaged and marketed.No more Kishen Kumars' , Kamla Sadhanas etc.Even Ichchadari Naag flicks have become full posh ,the last one I saw did not include a rain dance .What is the world coming to I say! Ichchadari Naag films without heroine dressed in white clothes dancing in the rain.Whats next? Shakeela doing the role of someone's grandmother?

Thursday, August 04, 2005

From Monty Python and the Holy Grail

1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Who goes there?
King Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Pull the other one!
King Arthur: I am, and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: What? Ridden on a horse?
King Arthur: Yes!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: You're using coconuts!
King Arthur: What?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together. King Arthur: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through...
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Where'd you get the coconuts?
King Arthur: We found them.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
King Arthur: What do you mean?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Well, this is a temperate zone
King Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
King Arthur: Not at all. They could be carried.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
King Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
King Arthur: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
King Arthur: Please!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Am I right?
Arthur: I'm not interested!
Soldier #2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
Soldier #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point. Soldier #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that.
Arthur: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?!
Soldier #1: But then of course a-- African swallows are non-migratory.
Soldier #2: Oh, yeah...
Soldier #1: So, they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway... [clop clop clop]
Soldier #2: Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together?
Soldier #1: No, they'd have to have it on a line.
Soldier #2: Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!
Soldier #1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
Soldier #2: Well, why not?

Monday, August 01, 2005

Jack of all trades.Master of Science.
Yes ladles and jellyspoons.Pappu Pass ho gaya.