Saturday, January 31, 2004

was oscar wilde?
speaking of which:

Song Title: ##You are my Chicken Fry##
Movie Name: Rock Dancer
Singer(s): Bappi Lahiri, Sweta Shetty
Music Director(s): Bappi Lahiri

b: (## You are my chicken fry
You are my fish fry##) - 2
(kabhii naa kahanaa ku.Diye ##bye bye bye##) -2

s: (## You are my samosa
You are my masala dosa##) - 2
(mai.n naa kahuu.ngii mu.nDiyaa ##bye bye bye## ) - 2

b: haa ... haa ... haa ... haa ...

(s: saraso.n kaa tU saag hai
mai.n makke kii roTii
b: jo bhii tujhako dekhe
ho jaaye ?? goTii ) - 2

s: (## You are my chocolate
You are my cutlet [cut-uh-let]##) - 2
(mai.n naa kahuu.ngii mu.nDiyaa ##bye bye bye##)

b: (## You are my chicken fry
You are my fish fry##) - 2
(kabhii naa kehenaa ku.Diye ##bye bye bye## ) -2

b: haa ... haa ... haa ... haa ...

(b: garamaa garam tanduurii tU hai
mai.n to aa.Nkhe.n sekuu.n
s: mu.nh me.n paanii aajaataa hai
jab mai.n tujhako dekhU.N ) - 2

b: (## You are my rossogolla
You are my rasmalai##) - 2
kabhii naa kahanaa ku.Diye ##bye bye bye##
vote for bappi da.
this new years when i was driving home from the party,i managed to get stuck in a traffic jam at around 1 am. thats right...but what made it fun was ,i was stuck next to an auto blasting bappi lahiri hits..guy gave some great music in the 80s. then again there were songs like 'you are my chicken fry' etc which though i loved, weren't critically acclaimed..who can forget 'auwa auwa' that mithun da hit from disco dancer .direct lift from video killed the radio star.many others like that.last year he sued someone for playing kalion ka chaman in thier this what they call chutzpah or what.
anyone got a worst of collection of bappi lahiris? its as enjoyable as the best of.....
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can
do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
It's actually not that bad when days get off to lousy starts. At least that way you know where you are and you expect the worst anyway.Not like those days when everythings seems bloody hunky-dory and suddenly you get kicked in the cobblers.
Speaking of cobblers. why do they call Holland the Netherregion..oh sorry my mistake, its nedherlands is it? spelling mistook..kya karen....hota hai..
This reminds me of the old question..if people from Poland are called Poles what are people from Holland called? yes yes Dutch..i know everyone is full kilever let me ask you this maybe you can help me out eh? would you call a woman from Holland a "Dutch"ess? May I present the Dutches of Amstredam.
Amstredam that a really foul word? beause when i said damn in school the teacher kicked my out of class..but the very next class was geography and the teacher kept saying AmstrDAM.
I'm sure everyone has read the story of the boy who saved Holland by sticking his finger where it didnt no get your minds out of thegutter. he stuck it in a dyke to plug a leak and so saved Holland from floods.

Thursday, January 29, 2004

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

dhadi wale uncle once said "doubt everything".

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

what note do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat Minor.
speaking of A minor ..what do you figure MJ's favorite note might be?
on that note (A minor)
why didn't the mafioso kill the silent film actor?
cause a mime is a terrible thing to waste...
my filthy mind just played around with some of the movie titles in the previous and came up with really funny is blindingly obvious.
but as they say a dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
movie marathon yesterday..saw willy wonka and the chocolate factory after 13 years.
finally saw rumble in teh bronx..and once again finally saw pretty woman in 1 peice..i mean teh movie . i clarify lest people think im some wierd cannibal dude who eats only pretty women..part by part and so never seen a pretty woman in full...
If you are divorced three times. does that make you triple ex rated?

Monday, January 26, 2004

khatarnak storm yesterday. mast wind. mast rain . mast hail. no not that kind of hail we werent having a neo nazi meeting.. but result of this storm was no electricity all evening and most of the night. and my phone died. at least its on life support. or its playing now you see it now you dont type games..
my mouse has conked out too...not because of the storm but i thought, when anyway i am cribbing ,why not finish cribbing about this as well. the cat isnt very happy bout the above though.
haven't seen a storm like that in ages. great to watch. but when above stuff happens not so great anymore eh?
what is it about storms and stormy seas...

Saturday, January 24, 2004

Rimsky-Korsakoff Remixed...what ever will they do next?
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

Friday, January 23, 2004

the best (normal people read worst ) khattas i remember were from Champak how sad that was.
Mary had a little lamb.
She ate it with mint sauce.
Every where that mary went.
The lamb went too of course.
I thought the below was called hallucinations. apparently it is called
The Mad Gardener's Song yenjoi

He thought he saw an Elephant,
That practised on a fife:
He looked again, and found it was
A letter from his wife.
'At length I realise,' he said,
The bitterness of Life!'

He thought he saw a Buffalo
Upon the chimney-piece:
He looked again, and found it was
His Sister's Husband's Niece.
'Unless you leave this house,' he said,
"I'll send for the Police!'

He thought he saw a Rattlesnake
That questioned him in Greek:
He looked again, and found it was
The Middle of Next Week.
'The one thing I regret,' he said,
'Is that it cannot speak!'

He thought he saw a Banker's Clerk
Descending from the bus:
He looked again, and found it was
A Hippopotamus.
'If this should stay to dine,' he said,
'There won't be much for us!'

He thought he saw a Kangaroo
That worked a coffee-mill:
He looked again, and found it was
A Vegetable-Pill.
'Were I to swallow this,' he said,
'I should be very ill!'

He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four
That stood beside his bed:
He looked again, and found it was
A Bear without a Head.
'Poor thing,' he said, 'poor silly thing!
It's waiting to be fed!'

He thought he saw an Albatross
That fluttered round the lamp:
He looked again, and found it was
A Penny-Postage Stamp.
'You'd best be getting home,' he said:
'The nights are very damp!'

He thought he saw a Garden-Door
That opened with a key:
He looked again, and found it was
A Double Rule of Three:
'And all its mystery,' he said,
'Is clear as day to me!'

He thought he saw a Argument
That proved he was the Pope:
He looked again, and found it was
A Bar of Mottled Soap.
'A fact so dread,' he faintly said,
'Extinguishes all hope!'
Lewis Carroll
:What a way to go.
*What did he die of?
:Bird Flu
*of course the bird flew.what did u think it was an ostrich?

Thursday, January 22, 2004

they banned the jazz concert. katte Indian audiences aren't ready for live sax yet.
Now wait just a minute.If diamonds are a girls best friend and dog is man's best friend.seems to me that someone is getting a raw deal here.
Milk of amnesia.

Main Kaun hoon? more importantly main kahan hoon?
Looks like I'm in a huge lecture hall and there is this bald guy writing stuff on a gads why is he drawing trishuls on the board. Don't tell me I'm in a VHP that cant be. hes saying stuff like psi and psi starred and alpha and tau(kiska tau,hamare gaon se tauji to nahin?). all greek to me....
....sometimes you can't blame anybody but yourself.Sometimes you can't even blame yourself.I hate when that happens. It's much better to have someone or at least something to blame. Once some wise man(or was it some wise guy) who said"man invented god because he needed someone to blame".....

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

See thats why they said Germans are full unfriendly..whenever you hear tehy keep saying ja ja....not very welcoming eh?
My throat is tongue dry.I'm desperately thirsty,but cant get a drink .All the while I am handling ice cold water which is totally unfit for the experiment,let alone drinking. Drove me mad i tell you mad (maniacal laughter follows)

Sunday, January 18, 2004

Order, Order..the first ever meeting of SHALL is called to order.
: wokay, i want one ghee roast
Silence, and thats an old joke.(aside..Is ki maa ki ankh)
The man who was going to plant the bomb has got cold feet.
I told you not to send a man without socks. .......From the Goon Show

Saturday, January 17, 2004

Forget the survivor series on TV. this is what being a survivor means

A diplomatic husband said to his wife, "How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?"
I'm anyway headed downstairs to devil "uncle" ka chinese style slave labour sweatshop (and i mean sweatshop)for an afterlife time of making overpriced shoes for micheal jordan types might as well live it up while im going no?
Like a moth drawn towards the flame,he went closer and closer and FZZZZZTTTTTT

Thursday, January 15, 2004

What do you call a couple of medical practitioners?
A Paradox.

Monday, January 12, 2004

NASA said the rover on Mars discovered a muddy black

If it's oil, some little green men are about to get
their asses kicked. - Craig Kilborn
found was bertrand russell.
Every time the subject (philosophy) came up they (his family) repeated with unfailing regularity, 'What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind.'

Sunday, January 11, 2004

Calvin I've been thinking, Hobbes.
Hobbes On a weekend?
Calvin Well, it wasn't on purpose...
Just back from the Indian Ocean concert....all i have to say is Ammaaaazzzzinggggg..
To you who saw a zebra on the road..I need to know what you been smoking...
I've seen a zebra crossing (on) the road though....lagta hai ki aaj kal zebra log bhi road pe aa gaye.
very old but still good

Why Are Fire Trucks Red?

Everyone knows that fire engines have 4 wheels and 8 men.
4 and 8 make 12. There are twelve inches in a foot. A foot
is a ruler. Queen Elizabeth, a ruler, is the name of one of the
largest ships on the seas. Seas have fish and fish have fins.
The Finns fought the Russians and Russians are red . . .
and fire trucks are always rushin' therefore, fire trucks are red!
NOW . . . if you think that's wild, you ought to hear folks'
excuses for not keeping their New Year's Resolutions!
They asked me what animal I'd like to be reborn as....
Coming to think of it, maybe a least then I could get a role in almost any hindi movies. Especially in Garam Dharams flick..You know him..He's the Original Vampire of Dogs...or as some one put it..."...but he is ya bloosucker af daags". So maybe on second thoughts...
Reality Bites?
Oh yes it does. Ow! I need injections.
most frustrating feeling ....You know that the book is there somewhere in the library. You have desperately wanted to read it for a really really long time....and its nowhere to be found....(trust me I even searches the Urdu Literature section). Thats the problem with libraries...pople like me have flicked a lot of stuff...
some books are always in circulation (esp like consice inorganic chem by MMT)
some books havent been borrowed in a hundered years.I'm not exaggerating.

Friday, January 09, 2004

Nonsense Verse (or is that worse)
Down the stream the swans all glide;
It's quite the cheapest way to ride.
Their legs get wet,
Their tummies wetter:
I think after all
The bus is better.

-- Spike Milligan
these scientists i like....:D

Thursday, January 08, 2004

Why did people think that Bill Clinton was such a good President?
well, because he was so good at "intern"al affairs...

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

That's right! Who do these gods think they are,with thier holier-than-thou attitude?.........Asterix in Switzerland.
to the guy who asked if mad cows disease is sexually transmitted what on earth have you been upto?

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

My doctor said I was paranoid.

Well, he didn't actually say it, but I could tell he
was thinking it.

Saturday, January 03, 2004

: ooh more lyrics..def. not a good sign....
Cheeky Charlie: not a good sign? why dont you change your signature then.
: oaf, this is the one they've got on the records.want to crack khattas boletho at least try to make sense...
CC: at least im cracking khattas while ur busy posting wierd wierd lyrics.
: wait call for tea . this will continue after ek chota sa break.
Time Time Time
See what's become of me
While I looked around for my possibilities
I was so hard to please

But look around,
The leaves are brown
And the sky is a hazy shade of winter

Hear the Salvation Army band
Down by the riverside
Its bound to be a better ride
Than what you got planned
Carry your cup in your hand

And look around you
Leaves are brown now
And the sky is a hazy shade of winter

Hang on to your hopes my friend
Thats an easy thing to say
But if your hopes should pass away
Simply pretend that you can build them again

Look around
Grass is high
The fields are ripe
Its the springtime of my life

Ooooh, seasons change with the scenery
Weaving time in a tapestry
Won't you stop and remember me
And at a convenient time

Funny how my memory skips
While looking over manuscripts
Of unpublished rhyme
Drinking my vodka and lime

I look around
Leaves are brown now
And the sky is a hazy shade of winter.......
...................Hazy Shade of Winter(S&G)
lyrics posting spree.....basically that means i cant think of anything to ...more bloggers block.
shake dreams from your hair, my pretty child, my sweet one
choose the day, and choose the sign of your day.....
.....The Ghost Song (The Doors)
I'll tell you this...

No eternal reward will forgive us now
For wasting the dawn.
Back in those days everything was simpler and more

One summer night, going to the pier
I ran into two young girls
The blonde one was called Freedom
The dark one, Enterprise
We talked and they told me this story
Now listen to this...

I'll tell you about Texas radio and the big beat
Soft driven, slow and mad
Like some new language
Reaching your head with the cold, sudden fury of a divine
Let me tell you about heartache and the loss of god
Wandering, wandering in hopeless night
Out here in the perimeter there are no stars
Out here we is stoned
.............................Stoned Immaculate (The Doors)

Friday, January 02, 2004

"Smoking helps you lose weight ... one lung at a time!"
as they say "Getting caught is the mother of Invention."