Wednesday, December 31, 2003

Year transplant succeful.......Happy new year.
righto, preparing for a year transplant.........nurse.bring in the anesthetic.
Finally heard the "see ya later woman hater dialogue on two guysa girl....

Tuesday, December 30, 2003

right. all i hear these days.."hey,shit happens"..thats right it does,. but i dont think i'll be the first one asking..but why does this shit happen to me?

Saturday, December 27, 2003

"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot." ....groucho marx
as the man asked "which one of the marx brothers was karl?"
no clever little statements of my own to put on the blog for the time being,so presenting for your entertainment wonly, smart coments by other people....
but wait a minute..i am still not over the 8 hour delay. no way so i'm afraid ull have more of that to listen to err read i mean....mwhahah.
so what did i do in the 8 hours u ask( no i know u didnt but im telling you anyway) i did a spot of langur watching, came across hawkers this time selling not phalli, samosa,chai but toddy :D.
but moving on to tran travel..though AC has the comfort factor etc.. I still prefer sleeper class (esp on night trains) .

Friday, December 26, 2003

i'm baaaaaack...
The train i was in was late by 8 hours....man 8 hours on a 14 hour journey makes it 22 hours on a train.
791Km.in22 hrs an average speed of about 36 Kmper hour.
This is like some retired Colonel sahab driving his beat up old Fiat car bang in the middle of the road...but thats a different crib....

Sunday, December 21, 2003

Speaking of beards and needing a shave.
"You cannot grow a beard in a moment of passion." ......GKC again.
Thieves respect property. They merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it. (The Man who was Thursday) .........G.K.Chesterton.
As G.K Chesterton said "Angels fly because they take themselves lightly".
which brings us to the problem...Doesn't anyone rememeber what happened to Icarus?
also rememebr weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Thursday, December 18, 2003

Present.
now that I've marked my attendance....

Monday, December 15, 2003

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball,
and that is to have either a clear conscience
or none at all.

who else.....Ogden Nash.

Sunday, December 14, 2003

bades blades where are my blades.
i need a shave.
I know the world is unfair. but like Calvin said, why can't it ever be unfair in my favour eh?

anyway as the song goes
Obla-di.Obla-da
Life goes on braaaahhhhh :D

Saturday, December 13, 2003

"Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to."Mark Twain
but despite my best efforts in that directions some just refuse to.
Was Richard the Lionhearted the First recorded instance of a Heart transplant?
= Smart baay. Saaaaaaaarraaaaa shehar aur uske tamam satellite mujhe Loin ke naam se jaanta hai. ell eye oh enn Loin.
In Praise of Idleness.

Newton wouldn't have become so great(world famous in world not just world famous in Jalgaon) if he hadnt spent his time goofing off in an apple orchard when he could have been doing "useful" work.So the moral of the story is......

Friday, December 12, 2003

Those who Khan conquer, those who Kant write....yes yes i know its old and most people will groan on reading . but guess what..thats the point.
hey! i seem to have embarked on a blogging orgy..Mwhahaahha great init? or not ,depending on your point of view...
=sirjee yeh point of view kis chidhiya ka naam hai.maine to pencill ka point suna hai...yeh point of view kya hai?
echoing the thoughts of anyone who has come in contact with me...
i am pointless......
run out and get me a sharpener.
on second thoughts jane do...itll go back to square one within no time..so whats the point eh?
anyway on with the orgy. send for the dancing girls and the stuffed giraffe necks.
"The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time".........Bertrand Russell
"In Heaven all the interesting people are missing.".....Nietzsche
Why do Elephants have Big Ears?
Cause Noddy wouldn't pay the ransom.

Khatta...almost collapsed laughing when I read it.
The Ostrich Principle: If I didn't see him he wasnt there.
thats what i applied at the U today. couldn't see any faculty,applying the above principle , we arrive at.... damn im even begining to write thibngs like derivations.
I can hear the sounds of violins
Long before it begins............Sway

saab.. Kanpur me strike hai kya?
Rather...... Kanpur mein overtime karre?

Dont say bald...im folliclarly challenged

Thursday, December 11, 2003

If you're singing Christmas songs on your neighbor's
lawn at night with your church group, it's called"caroling."
But if you're doing it alone with no pants on, it's
called "drunk and disorderly."
Full double standards i say!!!Carolling and being D&D are all because of the spirit i mentioned before, one of course being the Christmas Spirit and the other............Hercules XXX. (and you thought i was going to say old monk eh EA?)
I am sick of reading DC....am i "Chronicle"y ill?

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

The best exercise for reducing is to move the head
slowly from right to left when offered a second
helping at the dinner table.
bloggers block rears its ugly head once again.
i logged on with the intention of posting something.
but as soon as i typed in my password my mind went totally blank (i can hear some smart alec comment like "what mind, and more in that line, please feel free to use the comments facility thats what it is there for ting tong)
and mind you this isnt a first time occourance, maybe i could con some funding agency to releasing cash to study such a worrying phenomenon a temproary memory loss syndrome related to computer use katte...khatarnaak idea no.

Saturday, December 06, 2003

The circus of elections is over in the four states. now , for the first time i am actually looking forward to elections here. because this is the first time I'll be allowed to exercise my franchise, cause basicaly the first elections since i turned 18.
but now the real problem arises. whom to vote for.
when given a choice between a dacoit,a rapist,a murderer,and others all three combined... whom do i vote for.
Its nice and easy in TN where there are two thugs playing leap frog, one naturally votes for the person who robbed you the longest time ago.talk about anti incumbency playing a role.some dude once said
"Politicians,like diapers should be changed often.And for the same reason"
anyway elections ke liye time hai...parsoon dekhlinge...
jo jyada biryani khilayega
usi ko mera vote jayega..
chalo bhaiyon nare lagao.
As everyone knows, i am a self confessed obsessive compulsive blogger.
*what if you dont have anything to say ?eh?
thats never stopped me before...
*thats the spirit.
nope thats Old Monk XXX...now thats the spirit.
*hic..whastever you shay.......hic........heac hoc
i decline ........ to comment.you seem to have imbibed alot of ahem spirit.anyway now how about one more eh?
* no no ,i decline.
its all Greek and Latin to me
A wise man said.(or should i say some wiseguy said)
"The only person who ever got anything done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe."
Guess what ive been doing all day. thats right ...nothing...absolutely nothing..and that 2 after such a long time. ive waited for this break, like a convict awaits his release. holidays weren't this much fun in college.
so all i did today was spend all afternoon lazing around in a hammock, reading yes prime minister.
MWHAHAHA. i can almost hear someone cribbing.

Thursday, December 04, 2003

total nonsense...needless to say i love that. Ladles and jellyspoons

I stand upon this speech to make a platform
the train i arrived in has not yet come
so i took a bus and walked
i come before you to stand behind you
and tell you something i know nothing about

One fine day in the middle of the night
Two dead boys got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other

One was blind and the other couldn't see
So they chose a dummy for a referee.
A blind man went to see fair play
A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"

A paralysed donkey passing by
Kicked the blind man in the eye
Knocked him through a nine inch wall
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all

A deaf policeman heard the noise
And came to arrest the two dead boys
If you don't believe this story's true,
Ask the blind man he saw it too!"
Indian reporter wins Bad Sex in Fiction Award

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

Garam Dharam:Gaon vaalon, mein vahi karoonga jo Heer ne Ranjha ke liye kiya tha,
Romeo ne Juliet ke liye kiya tha - sosait, sosait, sossaait (suicide).
Gaonwala1: Arre bhai, yeh sossaait kya hota hai?
Gaonwala2: Arre bhai, jub ungrez marte hain, to usey sossaait kehte hain!!!!

i can post. but i cant see what im posting....:D
"Laugh and the world laughs with you.Cry and I'll give you something to cry about you little bastard"
my sis: I will not partake of this rampant prodigality you perfidious fool.
me: Sprachen Sie Englishe bitte.
its finally over.damn.
now i end the sleep deprivation programme.

Saturday, November 29, 2003

1 more . come on man just one more......reminds me of doing push ups somehow.

Thursday, November 27, 2003

after the success of Lord of the Flies......
here comes Lord of the Lice....presenting D.S. Judeo.

Monday, November 24, 2003

1 down , 3 to go.*badam bish*

Thursday, November 20, 2003

JESUSZILLA son of GODZILLA

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

yes yes am alive...barely.(living like a bear)( not in the nude)

Sunday, November 16, 2003

in the end it all comes down to the tan theeta.. the inclination ie.

Friday, November 14, 2003

me zartan, jing of the kungle. me bump head on tree.

Thursday, November 13, 2003

When u said you'd be home by quarter to 12 i didnt realise you meant 3 o'clock.
Psycho-
the-
rapist.


have you seen your shrink recently?
Just when I was getting used to yesterday along comes today,

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

downloaded the flute song...finally.
well, lifes like that. one day you fall in love ,another you fall in an open manhole...
the previous post reminds me.
this guy walks into a bar.........that was a painful story.
Q.What did the fish say when he hit the wall?
A. Dam.

Saturday, November 08, 2003

good enough to join her majesty's secret service? find out
Researchers at stanford have created a new and improved DNA.
Not only is teh new DNA wider than the old ones but hey! it glows in the dark too. now no more worrying about genes getting mucked up.track jumping genes keep track of those pesky deletions duplications and inversions and lots more.
and all this can be yours only for $99.95 .thats right folks .
only 99.95.
plus if you call our toll free number in the next 5 minutes we give you a free gift. call now.

Friday, November 07, 2003

As i rushed out of the hotel I asked the liveried man standing outside to get me a cab.
"harumph" he said " I am a Naval man"
"Good for you" I said "I'm a leg man myself but..."
"No i mean I am an Admiral in the Navy"
Oh, get me a battleship then.

Thursday, November 06, 2003

Ive often been asked " Are you mad????" well here is one way to find out.
"When you drop a cat it always lands on its feet and when you
drop a piece of toast it always lands buttered side down. So I
strapped a slice of toast to my cat's back, buttered side
up. He's been spinning inches above the ground for a week now."
by that great dude ,the very creative..anon.

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

remember that song ...i just died in your arms tonight....must have been one killer bear hug :D
I suffer form blog in amnesia. whenever i think of a great blog statement.infallibly.it mysteriously vanishes from my head by the time i log in. if only those voices would do the same.......

Sunday, November 02, 2003

Still, a man hears what he wants to hear
And disregards the rest
..............The Boxer (s&g)

Friday, October 31, 2003

someone said.
"It is better to have loved and lost .......
...................... than to sit naked on an anthill covered in honey."
the last few days at the U. were pretty...shall we say ...interesting.eventfull at any rate.(Rs 20/kilo) full of violence.politics and all the things that make indian universties what they are.
no university is complete without violence
Like E.A said "I don't trust people who dont have these minor vices"(or words to that effect)
i dont trust any U or C that hasnt had any student trouble.

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Thought I'd stop by and say something funny. There. I just did.
do you rememebr this...

Rain is falling,Chama cham cham.
Ladki ne aankh mari , gir gaye hum.
tan tana tan tanatanan.

khatarnak it was..

Monday, October 27, 2003

Is it parsoon yet?

Sunday, October 26, 2003

Kaal Kare So Aaj Kar, Aaj Kare So Abh.
Pal Mein Pralaya Hoyegi, Bahuri Karoge Kabh.

Saturday, October 25, 2003

Life : where is the user manual eh?

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

Life was so simple under those trees.
Future, past none of it mattered.
now....


An operator alpha is said to be Hermetian if

integral psi* alpha psi dtau = integral psi (alpha psi)* dtau= integral psi alpha* psi* dtau

where psi* is the complex conjugate of psi.
_____________________________________________________________
Help!!!

Sunday, October 19, 2003

*dreaded exams approaching.....should i panic
+hmmm.. not yet there is still time for that. now is time for contemplation..on the last day we panic....
* might i remind you that we arent in kansas..i mean NC anymore toto.
+point....has been noted...anyway too late now...parsoon dekhlinge...

so what does one do if one is jack of one trade , forget master.
so on doing the sums..it comes down to this....i actually paid Rs 3 a minute for watching a movie..i still cant believe it.....i mean im sure even those seedy party line phone calls must be cheaper than this....(embarassed laugh) not that I would know too much about those of course......
this thing has been occupying my limited brain space for a few days now, that just shows you what a makhichoos i am....
no no i didnt buy tickets "in black" for tagore first show. this was a regular ticket for blue planet at the imax..expensive innit?

Saturday, October 18, 2003

I may have my faults, but being wrong isn't one of them.
*try pipetting with both nostrils blocked..
+ no thanks i just did that
*so how does that feel?
+well now i know what iodine in solution tastes like, and that methyl acetate has a lovely err...tang.
*hmm.

Friday, October 17, 2003

hmm ever realise saying "a tissue" sounds as if you are sneezing.

Thursday, October 16, 2003

RIPPPPPP OFFFFFFFFFFFFF........that IMAX.

Sunday, October 12, 2003

sorry..was lost in thought...you see its unfamiliar territory.

Saturday, October 11, 2003

They sell Model flat tapes???? who would want to buy those?
i remember a line from Becker.vaguely something like "dont give me that 15 minute routine. i'm a doctor. i invented the 15 min routine.

wel it happened to me . i went to consult teh medicine man at round 12 noon and 15 minutes later at 1:30 i was ushered into his presence...hmm damn i must a been stuck in some wierd time warp...
I reiterate.
Why me?

Thursday, October 09, 2003

Hah! internet restored after 3 days....have been bombarded by mail.. most o it junk. but see this junk mail business is very dangerous.what if people were judged by the mail they get in thier inbox eh? eh? then according to my junk mail i would be bald , broke,impotent and in need of larger breasts. well if you are bald, impotent and need bigger breasts man you do have some serious problems...and i dont understand this the same mailer sends out spam advertising to the same inbox adverstiseing enlargement of certain male body parts(essential to the continuation of the human race[oh its a race is it what are the odds teh bookies have on it?]). as well as certain parts of the female anatomy..which though not as essential for teh aforementioned purpose still pretty usefull(if only for aesthetic value for teh time being but we will attend bio class a little later) and all:D. now right..i was never really good at human anatomy and all that but see wouldnt the existence of one such body part essentially preclude the existance of teh other in the same individual? i mean these are not stamens and pistils and all that for cryin out loud.....what were they thinking
i suppose thats the same question many people will ask(ie what was i thinking) when they read this. and speaking of bets and odds. what are teh odds that ill be buzzed after someone reads this .:D

Sunday, October 05, 2003

here is to late nights on msn...
another dude said ."every bastard thinks he is working hard ". how true...here is to you $@!f.
Some dude once said..the only thing that is constant is change. somehow hat was a bitt too much for my single neuron. but speaking of change..if change is what you want...do not contact an autowallah. then dont seem to have change at all. but well they agitate for change in the fares.

Friday, October 03, 2003

unearthed my fave T shirt today. the most comfortable one i own.
unfortunately this is also one of teh reasons why ive worn it so many times that it now resembles a poncha kapda and has also been pressed into service on that front once , but i valiantly rescued it. and after a bit of washing and all that it was good enuff to wear again(much to the despair of my parents).
i just realised that this has survived 5 years of severe illtreatment at my hands(well not hands exactly but u figure..). and to survive ill treatment from me ladles and jelly spoons is no mean task. yes the once black colour has now faded to an indeterminate sort of blue green gray colour .but it is as comfortable as teh day i bought it in a small little shop.chose this over ones with real rude messages and stuff the sanest being ..my brother went to kathmandu and all he got me was this !@#$all tshirt.
now coming back to teh point....weell not quite 5 yrs.(few months short so anyway this calls for a celebration....anyone kind enuff to give this fakir a treat?
"Gentlemen",he said"the game is afoot" and he tore up the stairs.
The butler,shaking his head sadly,swept up the pieces.

Thursday, October 02, 2003

allright, ok maybe im not the most intelligent man on this planet.so i usually need certain things to be explained to me. like this for instance...what exactly do you mean when you say a self help group. i mean comeon this is one of the worst oxymorons i've heard since military intelligence.
so what exactly does one do in a self help group....does everyone sit in a room together(but separately) and solve thier problems independently(but together)...damn this is confusing....i think ill enroll in a self help group for dumb idiots who ask way to many questions for thier own good(and they'd better shut up or else the boss wont like it. and u know what happens to people whom the boss doesn't like, right?...they sleep with teh fishes. [do u mean fish?] no you !@#$!@$! i mean fishes . u will sleep with the fishes like luca brazi.)
after all the nursery rhymes and fairy tales.was reminded of this song from an Ajay Devgan flick ....
jack and jill went up the hill ,tu karle mere havale dil.
twinkle twinkle littel star , main karti hoon tumse pyar.

do listen to this song if u can its amazingly idiotic.

.......copper wire.........
Only kids join the "infant"ry.
>what about grown ups?
hmm thats a point to be noted .what about adults....maybe they join the "adult"ry?
Screw-ups are just nature's way of saying, "I'm bored"

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

"oh lord, tell me whom to smite and they shall be smoten"-- homer j. simpson
(courtesy gayu)

Tuesday, September 30, 2003

what all can you do with an anvil and some explosives..for further information contact
Wiley.E.Coyotte,
c/o ACME Co.
The Road Runner Show.
You can learn a lot about a person,especially if you take the time to inject them with Sodium Pentothal.
Calvin What's it like to fall in love?
Hobbes Well... Say the object of your affection walks by...
Calvin Yeah?
Hobbes First, your heart falls into your stomach and splashes your innards. All the moisture makes you sweat profusely. This condensation shorts the circuits to your brain, and you get all woozy. When your brain burns out altogether, your mouth disengages and you babble like a cretin until she leaves.
Calvin That's love?!?
Hobbes Medically speaking.
Calvin Heck, that happened to me once, but I figured it was cooties!
+why me
* why not?
+hmm.....
i am a simple man with complex tastes............calvin
sniff sniff....aah, there it is the sweet ,sweet scent of freedom.
i can hear the wind rustling throught the birds,the chirping of the trees.
help. take me stoned im home.
quick quick , if you want to live hold your breath.
the logic being..when you take in air into your lungs,you inspire...
so if you let the air out........ you expire.
Bond should be Sean and not heard.

Monday, September 29, 2003

PULI RAJA KI AIDS VASTUNDA?

42
"It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether
I win or lose."

Friday, September 26, 2003

Dr. Jones fell in the well
and died without a moan.
He should have tended to the sick
and left the well alone. ........Harry Graham
maths, for me, is counting on my fingers. Advanced maths involves toes.
The heights by great men reached and kept, were not attained by sudden flight.But they, while thier companions slept were toiling upward through the night....
and i always thought they were in the toilet upstairs throughout the night. or as some dude said toileting upstairs through the night.
katte....
Light travels faster than sound.

This is why some people appear bright until you hear
them speak.

Ha! they have removed that horrible fence from Tank Bund. Ha!

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

just because i said tight security doesnt mean you get the watchman drunk!!!

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

Nasheet: ok this ones 4 u: unlike otherz ur brain is a masterpiece ......its divided into 2 halves: the right and the left ....the left has nothin right in it and the right has nothin left in it!!!!!11
A : lol
Is man one of God's blunders or is God one of man's blunders? ......allegedly Nietzsche
How long were you in chennai?
the same as here 5 foot 10"
in the immortal words of charlie brown.
"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.' "

i have a headache.
unless you are ravana or zaphod beeblebrox u would have "ek" head.
hmm.
what would ravana do if he had a headache in all his heads.
apply emami mentho plus balm or havent you been watching tv.
junta in class distributed sweets today..guess why....come on..guess.........
ok ill tell.....it was because tomorrow sees the relese of teh movie "Tagore"
*ing none other than superstar,megha star, the one and only Chiranjeevi.
hehe.. but im not complaining i got a free chocolate.

Monday, September 22, 2003

speaking of which ....

Mary had a little lamb,
she ate it with mint sauce.
and every where that Mary went , the lamb went too of course!
Allright when mary had a little lamb the doctor was shocked but blimey he didnt 'alf 'ave a stroke when ole macdonald had a farm.

Sunday, September 21, 2003

speaking of alter egos
do priests have alter egos?
A kingdom, A kingdom. My horse for a kingdom.
Shaikh Spear must be turning cartwheels in his grave by now. well im not the first person to murder shakespeare(even if he died hazaar years before)

Saturday, September 20, 2003

Lotsa ppl must've heard of the concept of milliHelens. well helen(of troy) had the face that launched a thousand ships. so ppl grade faces on that scale. ex a face with 500 millihelens.potential to launch 500 ships etce tc..u get it.
now what is interesting is the new concept researcher working at the dept of chem in OU (namely yours truly and imaginary friend) is the concept of nelehs
(the carefull observer might note that this is helen spelled ulta) this is capacity of a face to sink a thousand ships.one millineleh is the capacity of a face to sink a single ship.etcetc.so it goes...comments any one,.

Friday, September 19, 2003

hello!!! why are my posts disapearing??
Sabu apply formula number 44*


*chacha chaudhari's brain works faster than a computer.

unfortunately the only computer whose speed i am even remotely near is teh ENIAC.
the magic 8 ball

Thursday, September 18, 2003

speaking of haiti..they had this voodoo tradition of inviting thier enemies over to eat in the late afternoons this became such a major part of thier culture that they called thier country after it...u know Haiti (high tea)
Why did the chicken cross the road?

Part of a the CIA's specially trained elite team of fowl, this stealthy chicken is on a perilous misson.
His object? No less than to uncover the secret documents of the infamous Polish scientist, Dr. Poppycockski.
Dr. Poppycockski, code name: Cock, has outlandish, yet devilsihly clever plans for total world domination, which begin with the great nation of Haiti.
The bank called..katte. my reality check bounced

Sunday, September 14, 2003

Q. How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Bananna
What is grosser than gross?

A pancake that has fallen on the kitchen floor and you are very hungry for a pancake, but when you pick the pancake up you find the gooey syrup and the creamy butter are like flypaper and so your spongey, yummy pancake is covered in lint, dustmites, a splotch of still-moist mustard from the night before, a broken match, a dirty fingernail, and of course millions of squirming, pulsing bacteria. Also: the pancake now smells like bellybutton, so you puke. But your stomach is empty so you dry heave, and now the pancake is covered in your early morning bile. Anyway, you're so hungry so you eat the pancake.

Man, that is totally gross.

was reminded of that ancient joke....
If people from Poland are called Poles.what are people from Holland called?
.........by the way meet my friend Mr Lal.Mr Lal is a communist.........
Kaun Beej bota hai yaaron,Phal ye kaun chakhe.
Yeh jag jantar mantar maya, kaun yeh khel rache.

Kaun chadhae roj ye suraj, pavan kaun phuke.
............Kaun (Indian Ocean)
...and the donga dimakh works overtime.

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

hamne suna that sabar ka phal meetha hota hai..
Ye Sabar ka phal kya cheez hai?hamne to seb, anar , kela suna hai.


Tuesday, September 09, 2003

Carry me, caravan.
Take me away.
Take me to Portugal.
Take me to Spain.
Andalusia
With fields full of grain,
I have to see you
Again and again.
Take me, Spanish caravan.
Yes, I know you can.

Trade winds find Galleons
Lost in the sea.
I know where treasure
Is waiting for me.
Silver and gold
In the mountains of Spain,
I have to see you
Again and again.
Take me, Spanish caravan.
Yes, I know you can................Spanish Caravan(The Doors)
Two minutes silence...My phone died.
Well, talking bout how the meaning of it all lies in the hedge at the bottom of someones garden.
*then why arent gardeners wise?
well, they are.gardeners are enlightened.
*eh?
yup.working so many hours in the sun they are definitely "enlightened"
* *pukes*
id love to....but im teaching my ferret to yodel and i cant make it.

Monday, September 08, 2003

I am joining the DNA....the National Association of Dyslexics.

Sunday, September 07, 2003

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. ........Socrates
You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on.
.....sometimes I feel like the aforementioned one legged man in an arse kicking contest.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.
-- Douglas Adams

Thursday, September 04, 2003

A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,
will prevent you from rolling over and going back to
sleep when you hit the snooze button.

Possibly for the first time in my life academics has overtaken everything else(well not much of a choice when you consider college always finishes after 5)
anyway all this hard work is good for health, but so is karela, and u dont see ppl lining up to eat raw karela now do you? eh?eh?personally i wouldnt even eat cooked karela.

Monday, September 01, 2003

There is a theory which states that if any one discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here,it will instantly disappear and be replaced by someting even more bizzare and inexplicable.


There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
................(from The Restraurant at the End of the Universe. by Douglas Adams)
as some great philosophet once said (when he was stoned)."the meaning of it all,lies in the hedge at the bottom of the garden". alrighty.......problem is...which garden?.

veni
vedi
dormi
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Thursday, August 28, 2003

one thing puzzled me today ,well many things did specially weird pali and prakhrit words like"chemical shift" and "tetra methyl silane" but thats irrelevant.back to the point. the point being.how come these student union people became full considerate and all. they said there is an agitation and toldo get back to classes in the afternoon.
so we did. strange. the problem is with the oversincere ppl in my classs(the same ones that asked us to mass bunk few days) why thse dudes get these sudden pangs of guilt/sincerity GOK. usually its fleeting. but I'd appreciate it if they didnt waste my time for 2 hrs before telling me that no one will be attending the practicals. what a waste of time sitting in teh library studying when i can be doing so many things to improve my self. like eating and sleeping

The music super star among dogs -Dingo Starr.( (C) Vaish)
Aap ka to lagta hai bas yahi Sapna.
Ram naam japna, Paraya maal apna.

Monday, August 25, 2003

went birding yesterday.to vansathalipuram.it was really sad
hardly any birds...only 9 species only one out of the ordinary a very rare sighting of an egyptian vulture.
crossed a huge puddle of reall filth
run off from the municipal dump so imagine. i crossed that without falling in...yuck!!:D
saw a few black buck and spotted deer..not many stags i guess tehy are all at teh liquor store. seriously. especally the leaders of the herd..what u dont believe me. go ask teh daru shop wallah to give u some royal stag.

Saturday, August 23, 2003

"Those are my principles, if you don't like them.......
I have others."- Groucho Marx

Friday, August 22, 2003

so waht did you do in college today?
*umm well i learnt new things
such as
*60-60=120 chandrababu is 420.
hmm, very educational
*i know, i also took part in a dharna.
eh?
*never mind.


Thursday, August 21, 2003

"Honesty is the best policy.However, if you study the law carefully,you'll be astonished at some of the things that are considered honest."
well as usual i have nothing to say. but as usual i must blog:D. some one pointed out that blog sounds like a swear word. well it does only if used properly.
i can almost hear you going what the blog is he saying. what blogging nonsense.
etc see......now i will bog off.
blog you.

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

"Money can't buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more
pleasant form of misery." - Spike Milligan

eh? eh?

speaking of The goons and such like....what bout the phrse
...as much use as a one legged man in an arse kicking contest. (adapted form monty python)

Sunday, August 17, 2003

On the Ning Nang Nong

On the Ning Nang Nong
Where the Cows go Bong!
and the monkeys all say BOO!
There's a Nong Nang Ning
Where the trees go Ping!
And the tea pots jibber jabber joo.
On the Nong Ning Nang
All the mice go Clang
And you just can't catch 'em when they do!
So its Ning Nang Nong
Cows go Bong!
Nong Nang Ning
Trees go ping
Nong Ning Nang
The mice go Clang
What a noisy place to belong
is the Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong!!

Spike Milligan





Never trust a smiling Prof.

Friday, August 15, 2003

I am a Man of Method...........sometimes ;)
i still refuse to grow up
The mixture of smells will always stay with me. the smell of stale sweat, cheap alcohol,smoked beedis and of rancid coconut oil, all mixed together and yet each distinct. it will always remind me of coming home.for that, ladles and jellyspoons, is the smell of a jam packed route 26 bus that takes me home.
and u always thought that it was country roads that took one home. but thats only somewhere in west virginia or someplacelathat...
Well been asking myself a lot of questions lately..unfortuanetly none of the answers are forthcoming. so now i though why bang ones head against a brick wall when granite is in fashion..seem to be creating problems for myself ...
but again i say whats life without a few thrills (eh? spring chicken).
G'day blog. some time no see...what u been upto. MWHAHAHA obviously nothing cause I pull ur strings. it is my first step to world domination MWHAHAHAHAAHA.

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

Hey you gettin drunk, so sorry, I got you sussed
Hey you smokin mother nature, this is a bust
Hey hung up old Mr. Normal don't try to gain my trust
'Cause you ain't gonna follow me any of those ways all though you think you must
........................We'r not going to take it (The Who)

got called conservative few days ago...deeper sigh....why the deeper sigh..maybe its true...hiyya....i hope i dont become old Mr. Normal.going to try and be the crotchety old bachelor with a difference.


Monday, August 11, 2003

Beckers back on TV. MWHAHAHA.
If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
--Ogden Nash
Confucious say: Man who want Light snack eat Firefly.

Some other philosopher dude said things as well,like "There is no love more unconditional than a dogs (love)". The danger of saying such things, is that they will get misinterpreted.See thats why so many dudes took the wrong meaning and went out with such bitches :D
id love to see the comments for this one :D

Friday, August 08, 2003

DYKSTRA'S LAW:
Everybody is somebodys else's wierdo.
GRANDPA CHARNOCK'S LAW :
You never really learn to swear untill you learn to drive.

Aller Anfang ist schwer.
so why bother?
Sigh........college slowly going back to old ways...thank god i got out in time.had great times there.and some not so great as well but my memory is selective.
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex and
rich food.

He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself.

Now why does this sound familiar.

Thursday, August 07, 2003

If one of my back teeth fell into a glass of water. would that make it 1 Molar concentration?
a week gone...clean shaven and cut hair.....the new me.or rather the old me that has resurfaced..have just started to adjust. first step recognising my own reflection. i think i've got that . second step. stop hand from going to chin..looks wierd when there is nothing on chin...
since i dont have long hair anymore there is now one less place to lose pens in..since my hair was a convenient pen holder.

Monday, August 04, 2003

shaved....plead temproary insanity.

The beatings will continue till morale improves.

any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.


Sunday, August 03, 2003

When Hitler entered the building, all Heil broke loose.
Yesterday upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today
I wish to God he'd go away.

Saturday, August 02, 2003

A joint a day keeps reality away.

Friday, August 01, 2003

One thing a Dial Up Connection Taught me was Patience(no not the card game).
Now with cable ive lost that,

Thursday, July 31, 2003

i have nothing to say.life's strange. four lettered words confusing issues . "Rey Dirty bugger",i mean student organisations. for those not familiar with the concept of student organisations, allow me.
these organisations (with names usually made up of four letters) allegedly are for the benefit of students adn are meant to addres student issues. but all the members (read !$#!@$!@) look as if they are the "baaps" of "four-four" childeren.Must have taken admission in 1968(BC?). when they inaugurated that library.there are books in the library that havetn been touched since the time of Mir Osman Ali Khan.yes yes Im exaggerating. but not by much.Back to Our four lettered jahnda waving friends..they have thier uses. it is these goons that ensure that the food in the canteen is cheap (just like them).imagine getting a plate of biryani for Rs 6.50 (saif are you reading?)
hey look ive spent 12 lines saying nothing.

Tuesday, July 29, 2003

Haha. with all the alcohol and drugs consumed its no wonder a lot of things including blood pressure are "high".

Monday, July 28, 2003

Hmm. have graduated from being pissed of at the world to mildly irritated . still pissed off with those final year *^!$$.
well they say life's not always a bed of roses, ^%$& it better not be...imagine all the thorns u'd have.another senseless comment by some angrez.obviously angrezi baabu failed botany class."saar is naat knowing that roses are having the thorns isn't it".

Friday, July 25, 2003

CIA have developed a new anti communism cream...it's called NO MARX.
im not balding.im just follicle-arly challanged.
Its raining cats and dogs.
be careful you dont step on a poodle
MWHAHAHAH.
first boycott in university today. took me back on another nostalgia trip(yes the n th one) back to nizam college...well it was a new experience for the other dudes in class but we nizamians are used to all this slogan shouting and flag waving.
so am in a cheerful mood bcoz of the boycott ..manged to avoid my seniors and so.....
for the FIRST time in my life I am thanking a students organisation.

Thursday, July 24, 2003

mighty pissed off with the world right now .not conducive to humour.
all i can do is whine whine and whine some more( yes all whining..no dining)
university is the saddest place on earth. with the worst seniors imaginable.
!@#$^%#, the lot of them. and the most unimaginative ragging possible.
ragging at Msc level...isnt that a little too old to be indulging such nefarious activities....i guess not. repeat after me" u r only as old as you feel" thats why dirty old dudes go feeling up young women ,they want to "feel" young. YES!!!!
Anger and frustration have certainly warped my humour so i shall refrain from making any more err jokes.. if u can call them that.
......be back later..when i've cooled down a bit.

Tuesday, July 22, 2003

mock mensa test :D

Monday, July 21, 2003

realisation hit me today. it didnt gradually sink in like i thought it would. it snuck up behind me on tiptoe and hit me with a lead cosh.
i just realised one imporatant fact of life. no more NC.
none of that security(read aaram ki zindagi). no more skipped classes. no more running away form AA.and RDS. No more chats well into the evening
no more attending sociology/pol sci classes on the sly. no more Thurdsay quiz. no more wednesday GD no more the stairway to heaven or the gateway to hell.no more duping the canteen fellow. no more lofaing around near the well. no more ahem "extracurricular " activities. no more free attendaence . no more entering class 5 mintes before the end.
Shit ...i really miss that place.i really didnt think i would when i first joined .
all this ocoured to em on the bus journey to my first day at university.
the faculty seems to be good. will examine more closely
but then most classmates seem really sad.
but lets wait and see. all that "glisters" is not gold etc....
but well all i can say is that. one chapter has closed....on to the next one...

*why can't i skip this chapter and read the suspense? , eh?
hmmm. no fun in life without a few thrills, what?
*hmmm

Saturday, July 19, 2003

check this out about the iraqi situation
Henchmen Wanted for operation World Domination
good pay and free abuses.
also enjoy pleasure trip on ship with secrret compartment. lots of thrills and action promised
apply via comments column
Booohoo... cut my hair.....booohoooo

Thursday, July 17, 2003

my blog is my stuffed tiger
Hi.My name is Australopithecus. I'm an obsessive-compulsive blogger.
* admitting you have a problem is the first step towards solving it.
but i dont want it to go away
*hmmm.... interesting.
and who are you?
*Stir Freud
oh sigmunds grandson?You sound like chineese food
*Haha i was joking.Im just another voice in your head.
!@#!!
hmm deulusional too. i m my fave shrink.

Wednesday, July 16, 2003

Wax on. Wax off.

*does it make sense?
>does it have to
*well....
>see. you are stumped.
*no, i'm not
>yes, you are
*not
>are
*not
>out
* !#@!#@!
>*&^*&.
OY!!!!!!!!OUT OF MY HEAD,THE LOT OF YOU.I can do without extra voices in my head today.for today two will do. now the rest of you @#@!$!@% off

*whats his problem?
>dunno
SHHHHHHHH!!! Dont make me come in there!!
*crap!!
>yeah
Anyone know where i can improve my Transylvanian accent?
So much fun saying " I vant too saakh jour blaad". roughly translated......Namaste maydam.
smeagol, the workings of the female mind are beyond me.
>gollum gollum
anything to add?
>my precious, my precious?
>cut!!
whatever do you mean
i dont know what i mean, i dont have a mind .how can you expect me to!!!!
>of course i dont mind.
did any of this make sense to you.
>no
well ,welcome to my world
>there is a difference between being open minded and having a hole in your
head,you know.
no i dont.
>well see ......thaaaaat is your problem
no my problem is i work on single brain cell.even that is thereatening to give up on me. then ill be all alone in the world without my neuron even :((
>that looks like a man with a mush scowling,.
why am i talking to myself
>why am i talking to myself
becaue its entertaining macha.
>childish!!
I wont grow up!!!
>yes.i can see.
what ,eh?

Tuesday, July 15, 2003

I haven't got a brain...only straw.
How can you talk if you haven't got a brain?
I don't know...But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking...don't they?
Yes, I guess you're right.....
* Wizard of Oz *

Why, a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head or tail of it.
Duck Soup, spoken by Groucho Marx


..Time it was
and what a
time it was
it was
A time of innocence
a time of confidences.

Long ago
it must be
I have a photograph
preserve your memories
they're all that's left you.......Simon and Garfunkel (Bookends)

Sunday, July 13, 2003

Ever wanted to swear at someone but didnt have the energy now presenting an easy way to swear without opening ones mouth
I am 84% Evil Genius

I am pure evil. I lie awake at night devising schemes of world domination, and I will not rest until all living souls bend to my will.

Take the Evil Genius Test at fuali.com

Saturday, July 12, 2003

"i'm going off the rails on a crazy train."
so that's what it feels like...last two days have been like a ride on a crazy train...but looks like finally reached a decision..a decision that could change my life (hehe)not one of those should i wear shoes or sandals type dilemas.anyway whatever will b will be.as the song goes no no dont worry i wont assault your ears by singing.....
too many mosquitos around am loosing litres of blood everyday to them.
help.. im feeling aneamic as a result of these involuntary blood donation camps.and with all kinds of wierd diseases doing the rounds one must be careful
cant end up with japanese encephalitis etc or warangal mystery fever.unfortunately these mosquitos cant read english..they dont understand Odomos.
Have a microwave??check this out!!!

ORRRRRRRRRR.........
if galti se u work in a chem/phys lab with access to Liquid N2.then try this

Friday, July 11, 2003

DONT GIVE ME THAT SMART ALEC ATTITUDE (I have one already)
Reality: Condition that occours due to lack of alcohol.Help. I'm running low on fluids;)
Bah. indecision... i was happy when i had no choces now that i have a choice ,im lost....oh all that was wtr me getting call for Pondi uni.....what do i do . what do i do....anyway now i do ticket booking.

Thursday, July 10, 2003

AAAAArgh. where is my foot . where is my foot.....oooohh here it is...right where I left it...in my mouth. looks like a case of foot in mouth disease.
Almost cut my hair
It happened just the other day
It's gettin kinda long
I coulda said it wasn't in my way
But I didn't and I wonder why
I feel like letting my freak flag fly
Cause I feel like I owe it to someone..........CSNY
MWHAHAAHAHAAH
Finally set up comments here .
thanks Aishwarya.
:D

Thursday, July 03, 2003

Wo my Gaaaad.
another day another blog. if its thursday this must be blogspot. help.
shifted here from rediff cause rediff kept eating up my comments and posts.. I don't share my food with strangers . I like food too much myself. some people eat to live I live to eat.
whats new. you ask well there is a huge green snake living in my garden.no its not relavant. but interesting!!! beats watching the crocodile hunting freak(not dundee the other one!!!).
check this link out free pies for everyone