found this lurking in my inbox:

Who is Jack Schitt you ask?
The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a
loss for a response when someone says " you don't know
Jack Schitt."

Now you can intellectually handle the situation.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O Schitt. Awe
Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O Schitt,
the owner of Kneedeep N. Schitt, Inc.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the
deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie
Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and
the twins, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her
parents' wishes, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a
high school dropout. After being married 15 years,
Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Mr. Sherlock, and because her
kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her
previous name. She was then known as Noe
Schitt-Sherlock. Dip Schitt married Lotta Schitt and
they produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt.

Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable
throughout their childhood and subsequently married
the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding
announcement in the newspaper announced the
Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children
are Dawg, Byrd, and Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal
son left home to tour the world, and recently returned
from Italy with his new bride, Pisa Schitt.

So now when someone says, "you don't know Jack
Schitt", you can correct them.