Hey! Its world AIDS day. It holds special significance this year, am being brutally sodomized by examinations.
After exams will relate to people full story.

Waiter: Sir. May I take your order?
A: hau.cafe latte.
W: sure sir
A: hau? sachchi mein latte?
W: (confused) turns to B.And for you?
B: a Mocha....
A: Dekh ke.Aisa mocha baar baar nahin milta..

Why is my Baap sending me articles like this....I guess we do wierd things in my family. The difference between normal parents and mine is illustrated in this example below (I sound like a Text book, I've been studying too hard)
Ill effects of smoking: Most people's (that I know) parents tell thier kids about the ill effects of smoking by showing an example in familyor neighbourhood, eg: look at you uncle Devinder: he can't climb two stairs without gasping, he smokes 3 packs a day,look at that uncle who has cancer , its all because of smoking etc etc.
But Oh no not my parents: they downloaded a series of papers on ill effects of smoking from various journals etc and showed me, leaving me to discover ill effects of smoking by myself...

PS :It has come to my notice recently that certain members of my family have been reading this blog ...so...heheh...

There was a murder at Nortre Dame cathedral.The Officer in charge of investigation was looking around for clues when suddenly.(Note: all conversation was carried out,not in French but in atrocious French accent,you know, like in the Pink Panther movies).
Gendarme: Excuse me M.le Capitaine,there is a man outside seeking an audience.He says he can help with
the investigations.
M. le Capitaine: Eh?Who is it?
Gendarme: It is Quasimodo M.le C. He says he has a 'hunch'.

Instructions on a stick of deoderant: "Take Off Top, Push Up Bottom".That might explain that group of semi naked people outside the lawyers office, that would also explain why they didn't sit down when invited to do so.

Half asleep is not done.

Woken up from slumber.
mom: "Arey! what about Violet Haze"
me : "Arey! what it is? A soft rock version of the song aa? Hendrix will turn cartwheels in his grave I tell you"
mom: " Bah! Always either dreaming or day dreaming.Useless fellow. I was talking about a paint shade named
Violet Haze.Its code number is 7064. since you are goofing off, go to the hardware shop and see how
it looks."
me : (thinking to self)"arey bhai, this half asleep buisiness is koncham dangerous.Must be fully asleep from
now on"

Arey! I cant Open the CPI(ML) website. It's a pity.Some of thier propaganda used to be really amusing, as long as you do not fall intoteh trap of believing everything you read,you should be fine. In fact it was the old Dhadi walle uncle who said "Doubt everything".Marx eh? Sounds more like Fox Mulder to me.

Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says: " Do you know how fast you were going? Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know where I am".

"Jab kismat hai Gaandu.Kya karega Paandu"

I work with Geniuses. or Take a Bow

Example one : bahiyon aur behnon (in radio voice) Pesh hai....Namona No ek..Genius aadmi .comes happily having weighed 1g of a certain compound.Problem, I happen to know that there is a huge queue for the analitical balances.So upon carefull interrogation fo the subject(namely "arey makeode..kidhar weigh kara".). Subject points to another balance . This seems quite all right at first glance..but wait...that was a rough balance,the minimum weight you can measure on it is 2g.This guy happened to weigh 1g on it.Shabaash. He will win the Nobel Prize someday..Or at least the Bhatnagar Award.

Example2: This guy for some reason misunderstood the procedure reading:-" carefully evaporate the compound formed in an evaporating basin over a low flame."...He somehow misread it and procede to boil the damned thing in a beaker over a high flame.He comitted another cardinal sin. He left the compound to boil and walked away.This probably saved his life, because there was an explosion.You couldnt even find pieces of the beaker.
Take a bow.

Namona 3: This dude hands me a beaker and asks me to heat it.Now since this dude has never seen teh inside of a lab before,I was a little suspicious.Now again after skillful and long interogation it comes out that the compound he wants me to heat is Pottasium Chlorate (KClO3).
KClO3 + Heat ----> heap big sound (boooom).
I abused him like crazy.fucker if he wants to cary out experiments for naxals .Why bring me into the picture?
Take a bow

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At the entrance to a colony near my house there used to hang a board that proclaimed:
"Non Resident dogs not allowed"
I know that it is quite normal for colonies to hang boards outside forbidding salesmen /vendors etc, but to insult people who didnt live in the colony and deny them entry, comeon man...
It hung there for a few months, and suddenly it was changed to:
"Dogs of non residents not allowed"
Does this qualify under the Panda syndrome?
you know panda: eats shoots and leaves
That reminds me of a joke about a korean restaurant opening up in town..which i will recount to the telugu speaking audience, if they dont already know it.

One Platinum gauze electrode: 45000 Rupees
One Platinum rod electrode: 10000 Rupees.
Magnetic Stirrer: 250 Rupees
Borosil Beaker: 50 Rupees
Look on Classmates face as he drops all the above :Fuckin priceless.


Note: No debts were incurred during the above process, no animals were hurt physically (though cannot vouch for mental sate of above subject)
Price of Platinum: $855 per troy ounce
1 troy ounce = 31.1034768 g.

Arey! They used to shout VC.Down Down. Arey bhai ab to VC Down kya ,Out ich ho gaya....
We wanted a holiday tomorrow,The VC cooperated with us, he kicked the bucket, and tomorrow is a holiday.
Poor dude man. died of an asthma attack katte .Thats why people say. Chem is injurious to health ( the VC was a chemist)

Happy Birthday to the Big B

Fornication: Procreation and Recreation. It all depends...

Back, from more loafing around. This time I went to Sirpur,on the A.P-Maharashtra border.
One incident that sticks out: Entered this village near there (remember it is near teh Mah. border) Gues what language most of the people spoke? eh eh? nope Since I am asking it 'ougth to be obvious that the answer is not :D, well it was neither Telugu,nor Marathi...but..Bengali.Yes yes ..Once you go to this place,it is surreal, suddenly you have been transported from Telangana to Bengal. The style of huts is different, the type of farming is different, the signs are in Bengali,there was even a few dudes carving idols of the godess Durga.