A one-celled creature found recently may be in the process of kidnapping and incorporating an even tinier plant to use as a living energy source.

One question.Did they find this organism in Bihar?

H B M..

From Succubus

We have decided on a the date (finally)
But the place is still undecided … we are open for polls
Tentative places for meet up:

Eat street (necklace road)
Coffee day (any fucking one- as of now)
Baristta (any fucking one- as of now)


Any other joint … provided a large number of noisy people are allowed to hang around with out spending little or no money.


As of now…

Any Blogger planning to be in the twin cities on the
29th of October 05
needs to watch this space …
for details on the next official
HBM

Ps: requesting old timers username password to http://hbm.rediffblogs.com and the rest to pass the word, the names and email ids of those who can be contacted for details will be posted later, but please feel free to copy paste this baby on your blogs…

the more the merrier katte!!!

*HBM stands for hyderabad bloggers meet...Plizz naat to conphuse with HBO. No movies here.Don't expect Demi Moore either...and its More the merrier and not Moore the merrier :D

While aimlessly flipping channels,I chanced upon...(Fanfare .[Kya bole? Fanfare aur stardust nahin padhtin?] the best movie ever made....most brilliant.Kubric would have stood up and applauded.The particular scene that I had thegood fortune to watch involved the hero,apparently just arrived in some Videshi Mulk asks the locals "Kya yeh Canada hai?"Chutiiiiiiyaaaa.Where did you think you were? Lakdi ka pul?Can't see these gore log eh? what you thought? By mistake came into shooting of ad for fair and lovely? along with special industrial strenght hair bleach..Oh and when you were in the airport, im sure the "Welcome to CANADA" sign posts weren't too helpful. Maybe he misread them and though someone was offering a spoken Kannada course. How did he get through the Customs and Immigration? Arey when a hindi film's hero can survive being shot by all the bulllets in the Namibian army (23 nos only) why can't he forget escape immigration check.
Let us talk about the hero now.What amazing acting i tell you.He emotes like a piece of marble.Who ever cast him certainly lost his marbles.He probably even had to sell his undies to make up the money for making such a dud .By dud i refer to both the film and the hero.I think the movie was called Bekhudi. Starring Kajol and Kamal Sadhana.Dig this.I did a google search for Kamal Sadhana.and i came up with this blog as the 1st site on the list.

Airy-Fairy Tale

Long long ago.In a land far far away.Even further than Jhumritallaya. There lived and evil dwarf called Crumpledforeskin.He was the survivor of a circumcision accident.A jewish moyel had invented this new circumsicion machine prototype which drasticly malfunctioned,leading to CF's condition and by extension [get it ;)] his name.whic also explained his attitude toward life and peopl in general...I mean.He felt that he had been "shortchanged" if you catch my drift.And also he found it difficult to pick up girls.He was too short and they were too heavy.To exact revenge he used to sneak into circumsicion ceremonies and yell BOO! just as the deed was going to be done.As you can imagine,this often had tragic outcomes.
But Crumpledforeskin had a special gift.He could see dead people...oops wrong story.No he really did have a gift.his parents gave it to him,for his 12th birthday.It was a Mitsubishi Lancer.When CF was zooming around in his car, He couldnt see the road at all,Which made life more interesting, well if not life, then death at any rate, was now more interesting of course, when the people he crushed under his car went to heaven they felt superior to the lowly ones who had died ofcommon things like STD, Legionary's disease, and Shekhar Suman.For real enjoyment he used to scatter marbles before blind men and exchange the leash of their seeing eye dog to a rope tied to the rounte 45 bus.
He had one more special talent.He could fart on demand.This made him very popular with the renewable energy ministry as a source of biogas. They pleaded with him to help them solve theirenergy crisis, but CF being evil personified just farted in the energy ministers face.and ran away. well he tried to being about a foot and a half tall (just a little taller than Amir Khan).The Beautiful princess of the kingdom saw him and thought that he was a cockroach They hit him with a rubber chappal by mistake, thinking he was a roach (Periplaneta americana).That was the end of Solomon Grundy..err Crumpledforeskin

Parson Alladin was arrested by excise officials, for transporting Gin without a permit.

BCCI : Bored Crooks and Clowns in India

Whoa. Just a minute, I must have changed the channel by accident, I was looking for the BCCI elections and not the Bihar elections. With so much drama, repoll , boothcapturing, proxy voting, ineligable candidates.MP's I was wondering if it is the BCCI elections or the Bihar elections.
One thing is for sure, both have the largest collection of crooks (politician -crook same thing) going around.Only in the BCCI (till now) the thugery was more subtle.

Scenes from the meeting are not unlike any random Legistlative Assembly or even the Parliament. Any Parliamentarian worth his salt would have been proud of the way in which the proceedings were disturbed.

Parallel to the e-mail leak of course was news of KGB infiltration etc in the Govt. in the 70's. No one cared too much about that. We were more worried about how many supporters Sharad Pawar had.

Let us take a look at the main players of the Game. The "Game" does not refer to Cricket.

Jaggu Bhai BCCI: Oh Definitely Crook Category.

Run_there _is_ Beer Singh : Clown/Crook/Chamcha

Laaloo Panjoo: Crook^N. Jahan Samose mein Aalo Wahan hai Laaloo. After exhausting all other ways to make a quick illegal buck, here he is now.

Arun Tetleytea: He is into Cricket now?

Sharad Power (go get it):

Raj Singh: Oh! Very much in the Clown catagory, bordering on the Buffoon category.

I.S.Bindra.: Background mein Bindra Chamkega plays (to the tune of Bindia chamkegi)

Lalit Modi: who the hell is he? who cares.

How do you know you are getting old? When the songs of your bachpan come on MTV/VH1 Classic...Along with songs from your father's bachpan.

A:When I was in school I played Julius Ceaser
B: Who won?

I had so many things to say as I was typing in my username and password. As soon as the page loaded ...Poof they disappear.

You are my Chicken fry.You are my fish fry.

My job has led me to appreciate all the schools I've been to. They were not that bad after all. Some weer comparitively downright fucking awesome.

oooooo Kreeeeeeeeshnaaaaaaaaaaa youv aaaare theee greatest myuzishyuuuuun aaf theese waarld

Starting a Blog is a good thing to do, like Donating to Charities or shooting Salman Khan or even Saurav Ganguly.

Subah-Subah jab khidki kholoon, baajoo vali ladki hai! Dil mera bole "Hello! How are you?".

Mindless.

Subah ko cheh baje raat hoti hai.

NC is back to old ways.30 people arrested this week . Maaki.Dil khush ho gaya. I was begining to wonder what happend to college.Somethings never change

Savali saloni teri jheel si aankhen,

I'm losing it.Fastly.

Hey! I am no longer unemployed.I've landed myself a job. It involves Loafing and Talking.two of my favourite things to do..and these people are going to give me money to do it. This money can buy me booze. Waht more could one ask for.

Chemsitry is pHun?

After years err..ok minutes of research online I have found.



Fucitol !!!
Although this sounds like what an undergraduate chemist might exclaim
when their synthesis goes wrong, it's actually an alcohol, whose
other names are L-fuc-ol or 1-deoxy-D-galactitol. It gets its
wonderful trivial name from the fact that it is derived from the
sugar fucose, which comes from a seaweed found in the North Atlantic
called Bladderwrack whose latin name is Fucus vesiculosis.
Interestingly, there are a few articles in the Journal of Biochemistry
throughout 1997 concerning a kinase enzyme which acts on fucose.
The creators of these articles were Japanese, and seemed to have
missed the fact that fucose kinase should not be abbreviated as
'fuc-K'. Similarly, the E. coli K-12 Gene has other proteins that
have been named Fuc-U and Fuc-R.

Please read this post for MBD guide....



The full sign reads Anus Hair styling and beauty parlour..
Thanks to R..who took the photo..just to get me to shut up.

Burkina Faso

Read the advertisement for some Educational Consultants "Visa and Financial Aids guaranteed" Financial AIDS? Nakko! I've heard of being screwed by educational consultants, but this is littel too much don't you think?
Well there are others that promise you affordable education and guaranteed Visa to Bulgaria, or Burkina Faso type places.Burkina Faso..Does it even have a counsulate in India ? Oh and I haven't even started on those shady job and auto consultants.

Q:If you see a consultant on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle.


Edit: I have been informed that Burkina Faso does indeed have an embassy in India
Embassy of Burkina Faso in IndiaG-5, Anand Niketan110021New Delhi

Arey Sholay is now being remade.We all know who is playing Gabbar Singh.Since this is the case im sure teh dialogues would undergo a little modification

Scene: Gabbar is walking on rock playing with his...belt.

GS: (Hain)Kitne aadmi the?(hain)
A: Sardar...Do aadmi the.
GS: SAHI JAWAAB! Aap jeettein hain ek hazaar rupay.(Kaash mein un dono aadmiyon ko lock kar sakta)
.
.
.
GS : Arey o Samba! kitna inaam sarkar rakhe hain hum par?
Samba: Purey Pachas Hazaar.
GS: Sahi Jawaab.Sarkaar ne hume lock kar ne ko pure pachaas hazaar inam rakhe hain(hain)
lekin pachas hazaar kyon(hain?) jab aap jeet sakte hain umeed se dugna!
.
.
.
GS: Yahan se 50 - 50 kos door gaon mein(nahin nahin [hain!]yeh life line wala fifty fity nahin hain) jab bachcha
raat ko rota hai to maa kehti hain ki 'beta so jao nahin to gabbar uncle hot seat pe bithayega'.
.
.
.

GS: Kitni goli hai iske andar?
B: huh?
GS: Kitni goli hai?(hain?)
B : 6 sardar
GS: 6 Goli aur aadmi 3.Ab main in 3 haramzadon ko 2-2 goli maroonga
B: hain! Leking part 1 mein Gabbar ek goli hi maarta hai.
GS: yeh mera naya slogan hai(n). Umeed se dugna!

Old Chemists never die.We just stop reacting.

My name is Bond, Ionic Bond;
Taken, not shared!

What does one do if one can't zwim? Zinc

What does one do with a dead body? Barium in a krypt-on
Maybe he was killed oxydentally.
They should have seen the doctor first, he'd Curium.
Ah, barium anyway, just to see how he reacts.better though to have helium.


Florence Flask was ... dressing for the opera when she turned to herhusband and screamed, "Erlenmeyer! My joules! Someone has stolen myjoules!""Now, now, my dear," replied her husband, "keep your balance and refluxa moment. Perhaps they're mislead.""No, I know they're stolen," cried Florence. "I remember putting them in my burette ... We must call a copper."Erlenmeyer did so, and the flatfoot who turned up, one Sherlock Ohms,said the outrage looked like the work of an arch-criminal by the nameof Lawrence Ium."We must be careful -- he's a free radical, ultraviolet, anddangerous. His girlfriend is a chlorine at the Palladium. Maybe I cancatch him there." With that, he jumped on his carbon cycle in anactivated state and sped off along the reaction pathway ... -- Daniel B. Murphy, "Precipitations"


See H20 is water,what is H204?

Neutrons have mass aa? I didn't know they were Catholic!

The problem with movies these days, is that even low budget ,loser types are well packaged and marketed.No more Kishen Kumars' , Kamla Sadhanas etc.Even Ichchadari Naag flicks have become full posh ,the last one I saw did not include a rain dance .What is the world coming to I say! Ichchadari Naag films without heroine dressed in white clothes dancing in the rain.Whats next? Shakeela doing the role of someone's grandmother?

From Monty Python and the Holy Grail

1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Who goes there?
King Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Pull the other one!
King Arthur: I am, and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: What? Ridden on a horse?
King Arthur: Yes!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: You're using coconuts!
King Arthur: What?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together. King Arthur: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through...
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Where'd you get the coconuts?
King Arthur: We found them.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
King Arthur: What do you mean?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Well, this is a temperate zone
King Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
King Arthur: Not at all. They could be carried.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
King Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
King Arthur: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
King Arthur: Please!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Am I right?
Arthur: I'm not interested!
Soldier #2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
Soldier #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point. Soldier #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that.
Arthur: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?!
Soldier #1: But then of course a-- African swallows are non-migratory.
Soldier #2: Oh, yeah...
Soldier #1: So, they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway... [clop clop clop]
Soldier #2: Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together?
Soldier #1: No, they'd have to have it on a line.
Soldier #2: Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!
Soldier #1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
Soldier #2: Well, why not?

Jack of all trades.Master of Science.
Yes ladles and jellyspoons.Pappu Pass ho gaya.