Arey! Why does life persist in trying to teach me lessons which I have no desire to learn.

What do you do when all the Tailors are on stirke: Suit yourself.

What do you do whan all the docotors are on stike? Suture self.

If I ever open a strip club I am going to call it "Thong and Dance"

What have I been upto these last few days you ask? You didn't!! Well I shall proceed to tell you anyway.
Well I have spent the last few days cleaning up the truckloads of mucus that seem to be generated by my body...
If you think that this is disgusting, Hey! I ahven't even come to the part of my narrative where we examine what I did when I could not find a handkerchief or a tissue anywhere around.

Before that I was stuck in Chennai, during the rains.No electricity..Was issued numerous death threats by different members of family for singing Annu Mallik's priceless gem "Dekho baarish ho rahi hai"
For the benifit of those who are not familiar with the song let me elaborate...Those who are familiarwould already have commmited suicide by now.
AM starts of in totally besura pathetic aawaaz (you know like Rafi sahab ka gaana Sonu Nigam ke aawaaz mein similarly we have here Is admi ka gaana..Gadhe ke aawaaz mein)
And so he starts of by braying.
"Dekho baarish ho rahi hai"
And just in case you didn't get that he translates and simplifies in the next line.
"It's raining. It's raining. It's raaaaaaaaaaiinnnning"
Undaunted by the tamater anda missiles, he carries on
"Mera dil ro raha hai"
"My heart is paining.It's paining.It's Paining .It's Paaaainnnnninnnnng"
Arey! Yahin to maar kha gaya Hindustan.Mistook in translation.Like in the subtitles of the D.D Sunday afternoon regional films.The Subtitles were fine untill the film happend to be in a language you could actually follow.What was even better was that they translated songs and put the subtitles for that as well. you could be watching the most depressing film ever made, but the subtitles would never fail to elicit a chuckle or two.
But we were encouraged actually by AM's pain in the err heart..we thought he would be ..you know katofying his ticket soon.Alas it was not to be. He still survives and torments us.

Crappy Diem: A lousy day?

Arey! I saw a magic car.
Eh! What?
You see it was going down the road and then suddenly it turned into a gully. Magic..

The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plains? Well I am in Chennai now and I wish the rain would catch a plane to Spain or even Burundi...The Airport is flooded , no trains are leaving or arriving in Chennai Central (psst unlike Hyderabad central one doesn't usually buy overpriced clothes here..food and drink maybe.)...so looks like I'm stuck here for a few days....more on the kidnapping etc when I'm not on dial up.

"Stand up and be counted" they said.
If I knelt down would I be knighted?

Arise Sir Australopithecus.


Aight! am off now. family is abducting me and taking me to various places...I shall be back in a few days.Till then, for entertainment read the CPI(ML) site.
Best entertainment possible.
Innit weird that CPI(ML) is protesting against the Government for failing to control violence.

So there I was all nice and well dressed setting off to work. just as I passed the colony gate (1.3 km from home) the phone rings (what else will it do? sing bulla ki jaana and turn cartwheels? well those days are nto faar away i tell you. cell phones are getting smaller adn smaller ..some makers are giving free 400X microscope to spot the phone.with imersion oil also).But I digress. So the phone ring and on the other end was the boss telling me.".Oh good morning Australopithecus.How are you." Just as I was about to launch into a lenghty description of various aches and pains (both real and imagined) When the boss continues "Yeah .Austra, we dont really need you here today, take it easy .Enjoy yourself"....Whoa! this was like being back at school. when you reach teh gate and find that school is closed cause some leader snuffed it :D.I was jumping all the way back home...All that was missing was a Milton kool-keg water bottle.If I had that I would have swung it round and round and run home.....Remind me again....how old am I ?

I like my office, they share their premisis with a publishing company..boletho full of books the place is. Last few days in the office were spent surreptitiously reading Tintin comics...I love it I tell you....

A one-celled creature found recently may be in the process of kidnapping and incorporating an even tinier plant to use as a living energy source.

One question.Did they find this organism in Bihar?

H B M..

From Succubus

We have decided on a the date (finally)
But the place is still undecided … we are open for polls
Tentative places for meet up:

Eat street (necklace road)
Coffee day (any fucking one- as of now)
Baristta (any fucking one- as of now)


Any other joint … provided a large number of noisy people are allowed to hang around with out spending little or no money.


As of now…

Any Blogger planning to be in the twin cities on the
29th of October 05
needs to watch this space …
for details on the next official
HBM

Ps: requesting old timers username password to http://hbm.rediffblogs.com and the rest to pass the word, the names and email ids of those who can be contacted for details will be posted later, but please feel free to copy paste this baby on your blogs…

the more the merrier katte!!!

*HBM stands for hyderabad bloggers meet...Plizz naat to conphuse with HBO. No movies here.Don't expect Demi Moore either...and its More the merrier and not Moore the merrier :D

While aimlessly flipping channels,I chanced upon...(Fanfare .[Kya bole? Fanfare aur stardust nahin padhtin?] the best movie ever made....most brilliant.Kubric would have stood up and applauded.The particular scene that I had thegood fortune to watch involved the hero,apparently just arrived in some Videshi Mulk asks the locals "Kya yeh Canada hai?"Chutiiiiiiyaaaa.Where did you think you were? Lakdi ka pul?Can't see these gore log eh? what you thought? By mistake came into shooting of ad for fair and lovely? along with special industrial strenght hair bleach..Oh and when you were in the airport, im sure the "Welcome to CANADA" sign posts weren't too helpful. Maybe he misread them and though someone was offering a spoken Kannada course. How did he get through the Customs and Immigration? Arey when a hindi film's hero can survive being shot by all the bulllets in the Namibian army (23 nos only) why can't he forget escape immigration check.
Let us talk about the hero now.What amazing acting i tell you.He emotes like a piece of marble.Who ever cast him certainly lost his marbles.He probably even had to sell his undies to make up the money for making such a dud .By dud i refer to both the film and the hero.I think the movie was called Bekhudi. Starring Kajol and Kamal Sadhana.Dig this.I did a google search for Kamal Sadhana.and i came up with this blog as the 1st site on the list.

Airy-Fairy Tale

Long long ago.In a land far far away.Even further than Jhumritallaya. There lived and evil dwarf called Crumpledforeskin.He was the survivor of a circumcision accident.A jewish moyel had invented this new circumsicion machine prototype which drasticly malfunctioned,leading to CF's condition and by extension [get it ;)] his name.whic also explained his attitude toward life and peopl in general...I mean.He felt that he had been "shortchanged" if you catch my drift.And also he found it difficult to pick up girls.He was too short and they were too heavy.To exact revenge he used to sneak into circumsicion ceremonies and yell BOO! just as the deed was going to be done.As you can imagine,this often had tragic outcomes.
But Crumpledforeskin had a special gift.He could see dead people...oops wrong story.No he really did have a gift.his parents gave it to him,for his 12th birthday.It was a Mitsubishi Lancer.When CF was zooming around in his car, He couldnt see the road at all,Which made life more interesting, well if not life, then death at any rate, was now more interesting of course, when the people he crushed under his car went to heaven they felt superior to the lowly ones who had died ofcommon things like STD, Legionary's disease, and Shekhar Suman.For real enjoyment he used to scatter marbles before blind men and exchange the leash of their seeing eye dog to a rope tied to the rounte 45 bus.
He had one more special talent.He could fart on demand.This made him very popular with the renewable energy ministry as a source of biogas. They pleaded with him to help them solve theirenergy crisis, but CF being evil personified just farted in the energy ministers face.and ran away. well he tried to being about a foot and a half tall (just a little taller than Amir Khan).The Beautiful princess of the kingdom saw him and thought that he was a cockroach They hit him with a rubber chappal by mistake, thinking he was a roach (Periplaneta americana).That was the end of Solomon Grundy..err Crumpledforeskin

Parson Alladin was arrested by excise officials, for transporting Gin without a permit.

BCCI : Bored Crooks and Clowns in India

Whoa. Just a minute, I must have changed the channel by accident, I was looking for the BCCI elections and not the Bihar elections. With so much drama, repoll , boothcapturing, proxy voting, ineligable candidates.MP's I was wondering if it is the BCCI elections or the Bihar elections.
One thing is for sure, both have the largest collection of crooks (politician -crook same thing) going around.Only in the BCCI (till now) the thugery was more subtle.

Scenes from the meeting are not unlike any random Legistlative Assembly or even the Parliament. Any Parliamentarian worth his salt would have been proud of the way in which the proceedings were disturbed.

Parallel to the e-mail leak of course was news of KGB infiltration etc in the Govt. in the 70's. No one cared too much about that. We were more worried about how many supporters Sharad Pawar had.

Let us take a look at the main players of the Game. The "Game" does not refer to Cricket.

Jaggu Bhai BCCI: Oh Definitely Crook Category.

Run_there _is_ Beer Singh : Clown/Crook/Chamcha

Laaloo Panjoo: Crook^N. Jahan Samose mein Aalo Wahan hai Laaloo. After exhausting all other ways to make a quick illegal buck, here he is now.

Arun Tetleytea: He is into Cricket now?

Sharad Power (go get it):

Raj Singh: Oh! Very much in the Clown catagory, bordering on the Buffoon category.

I.S.Bindra.: Background mein Bindra Chamkega plays (to the tune of Bindia chamkegi)

Lalit Modi: who the hell is he? who cares.

How do you know you are getting old? When the songs of your bachpan come on MTV/VH1 Classic...Along with songs from your father's bachpan.

A:When I was in school I played Julius Ceaser
B: Who won?

I had so many things to say as I was typing in my username and password. As soon as the page loaded ...Poof they disappear.

You are my Chicken fry.You are my fish fry.

My job has led me to appreciate all the schools I've been to. They were not that bad after all. Some weer comparitively downright fucking awesome.

oooooo Kreeeeeeeeshnaaaaaaaaaaa youv aaaare theee greatest myuzishyuuuuun aaf theese waarld

Starting a Blog is a good thing to do, like Donating to Charities or shooting Salman Khan or even Saurav Ganguly.

Subah-Subah jab khidki kholoon, baajoo vali ladki hai! Dil mera bole "Hello! How are you?".

Mindless.

Subah ko cheh baje raat hoti hai.

NC is back to old ways.30 people arrested this week . Maaki.Dil khush ho gaya. I was begining to wonder what happend to college.Somethings never change

Savali saloni teri jheel si aankhen,

I'm losing it.Fastly.

Hey! I am no longer unemployed.I've landed myself a job. It involves Loafing and Talking.two of my favourite things to do..and these people are going to give me money to do it. This money can buy me booze. Waht more could one ask for.

Chemsitry is pHun?

After years err..ok minutes of research online I have found.



Fucitol !!!
Although this sounds like what an undergraduate chemist might exclaim
when their synthesis goes wrong, it's actually an alcohol, whose
other names are L-fuc-ol or 1-deoxy-D-galactitol. It gets its
wonderful trivial name from the fact that it is derived from the
sugar fucose, which comes from a seaweed found in the North Atlantic
called Bladderwrack whose latin name is Fucus vesiculosis.
Interestingly, there are a few articles in the Journal of Biochemistry
throughout 1997 concerning a kinase enzyme which acts on fucose.
The creators of these articles were Japanese, and seemed to have
missed the fact that fucose kinase should not be abbreviated as
'fuc-K'. Similarly, the E. coli K-12 Gene has other proteins that
have been named Fuc-U and Fuc-R.