When I was young(er?) I happened to watch this movie, I then decided to name any car I drove Rampyari. Unless of course it was a Volkswagen Beetle. Then I'd call it Herbie.

That was in response to question raised by certain readers reg. a previous post. Now I thought why not list out more stuff I'd like to name.

If I'm rich enough to own a private plane and have a personal pilot...I'd call him Biggles..even if his real name happens to be Ramanathan or Akbar bin Taber or whatever.

I've said this before.
If I ever start a strip club I'd call it "Thong and dance"

If I ran a whore house I'd name it thus " LEGS" and have a sign like this:

LEGS

Now open for Business

Condom Song - Telugu

This is a sort of Public Service announcement about condoms, came to me through Non-Sensei. Its hilarious.

Father watches film promos.


Baap(a.k.a Poojya Pitaji): Savariya! What kind of name is that? I'm sure it won't do well at centres where Tamilian population is high. Savariya? No I'd rather stay alive!!.

Genetics. That is all I can say.

On another note. Laga Chunari mein daag. To kaiku rore..Surf Excel hain na!
What are they trying to sell? Soap or a film?

Two simultaneous conversations :

Aus: Arey today I was out getting car fixed. Rats ate off wires
PP: WHAT!!! Why aren't you feeding them?
Aus: Arey! What will I eat then?
PP : Wires! Be kind to animals ji.
Aus: Ok, I will now send Andy Symonds a banana.



Bored Sub: But we're all monkeys anyway.
Aus: So is Andrew Symonds...who shouldn't feel too bad...last time the crowd booed tendulkar..so he is in August company...or October in this case.

If we made a television serial about a demented chap who thinks he is a south african clergyman, can we call it Tutu main main?

So sibling pings me and says. "Go look at the Nobel prize website ". So I did. What do I see under Nobel prize for Peace: The name Al Gore. Formerly Al Gore was the world's biggest loser..(no no he didn't go on that T.V show. If anything he probably went on a T.V show with opposite ideology). Why was he the worlds biggest loser you ask? Well imagine this, you get the most number of votes in the election, but you still don't become the President...what does one say?

What did he do to deserve this honour you ask(err the Nobel not the biggest loser kaun competition)? Well according to the website he made "efforts to build up and disseminate greater knowledge about man-made climate change, and to lay the foundations for the measures that are needed to counteract such change"

Alright. fair enough, climate change is an important issue, very close to my heart and all that...But Al Gore!! This is ridiculous. If Al Gore can get a Nobel, why not you or me? eh?
Check your mailboxes, maybe they've sent us all one each(except to Osama.That Nobel is addressed c/o Gen Musharraff). But when Osama gets one...no one will clap, because of the Tali ban.

Yeh Nobel prize nahin No bell prize hai , boletho Ghanta bhi nahin hai prize.

This Mathew Hayden, is the Prem Chopra of the cricket world. He rapes bowling attacks left right and centre. One can imagine a conversation between MH , R.P and Zak.

R.P &Zak: Bhagwan ke liye hume chod do.
MH : (rubbing hands in glee) Hehe! Bhagwan ke liye chod doon to mera kya hoga.heheheh

What have I been up to you ask? You didn't? I'll tell you anyway!

Friday: Jean-Luc Godard, Salvador Dali, Old Monk, vague discussions ranging from space-time to B Grade movies of the 90's among other things that lasted till 4 AM.

Saturday: Sleep Sleep and more sleep.... and reread some Biggles.

Sunday : Went all the way to Charminar. Pista house Haleem. Tried "veg" haleem, it seems like a glorified cross between upma and pongal...of course floating in ghee. The "normal" Haleem was as good as ever. Then there was some Paya at Shadaab, followed by mutton sheekh kababs. This caused vegetarian friend to remark "Bas kar saale log, nahin to kal subah good morning ke badle mein baaa baaa nikalinga". In retaliation we finished off his paneer tikka as well. This was topped off with "Mashoor" ice cream at Mozam Jahi market.

Monday: Woke up and tried to say good morning...It came out as normal....no baa baa. If it had, one could ahve written a song about it called Baa baa love, and dedicated to the Kiwis. Considered toss up between going birding and going to the derby on Tuesday. I've always found it funny that they insist on holding a race on the 2nd of October.

Tuesday : Happy the budday to Gandhi thatha. Birding cum picnic happened. Sat on the bank of a lake watching Terns, Ibis and various larks, while hogging sandwiches. Made the usual jokes about "doing it for a lark" and "aapka lark lark shukar hai"
Full mazza. Went home and read more Biggles.

So that was my weekend. No jokes here...go away.

Surely you're choking Mr Smith.

Rituparno Ghosh is making a new film about the South African cricket team....he is calling it Choker Bali. It is about a cricket match in Indonesia

That is Rampyari. She turned 5 this month! Aah the good times we've had..








twd

Do porn sites have stiff competition amongst themselves?

from Ananova


World's oldest condom

The oldest surviving condom in the world has gone on display in an Austrian museum.

The reusable condom dates back to 1640 and is completely intact, as is its orginal users' manual, written in Latin.

The manual suggests that users immerse the condom in warm milk prior to its use to avoid diseases.

The antique, found in Lund in Sweden, is made of pig intestine and is one of 250 ancient objects related to sex on display at the Tirolean County Museum in Austria this summer.

Yes yes condoms and Lunds seem to go together...

Gaur farmayie







Bullish or not I don't know. Yeh market achche achchon ku nanga (bare) kare so hai.

Thoughts for today.

I think 50 cent took the term "changing one's name" too literally.

Do entomologists have a plan Bee?

'Massacre'ehnas?

Our lives are cheap. We have one billion people here. Apparently no one cares for 41. Is apathy a new strategy to combat disruptive elements?

Sigh! Here we go again.

In extremely bad taste.
Willie Wanker and the Condom Factory.


It's the story of an ordinary chap; Charlie Fucket. His was no longer or thicker than anyone else's, nor did he last longer..He was an ordinary youngster from an ordinary family, who was soon to become the "Luckiest" chap on earth...

Now we come to our main chap. Some 20 years or so ago, Willy Wanker opened the largest condom factory in the world ..Where condoms were made by Latexed methods.However, spies(SPECTRE and THRUSH) stole his latex and flavoured lubricants so he closed the factory. Not forever though. Suddenly WW decided to allow 5 people to visit the factory and one of them will win a special "prize" at the end. Does this sound suspiciously like a pop star who is black and white (and heard all over)?

So back to the youngsters

The youngsters have to find one of the five golden tickets hidden beneath the ordinary wrapping paper of five 10 pack dotted Wanker packs. So, Augustus Gloop (who used bear grease for lubrication, hence his name), Veruca Slut (a spoilt English ...ahem), Violet Disregarde (she blew stuff), Mike Teavee (who prefers the box to making whopee) and Charlie Fucket (the "luckiest" boy in the entire world) win tickets and visit the factory.

Full "Accidents" happen on tour...Gloops brings his own gloop slips on it and falls into molten rubber...thus making him look like a rishtedaar of spiderman. Violet tries licking up flavoring ingredient from the machine and manages to get stuck to the onion garlic flavour waala machine and no one wants to go near to release her.Then one more person tries to bugger a rodent and falls into a chute..a chutE..and not a ..chut.
Anywho..Charlie wins the competition. Unfortunately for him the prize is to be the heir of the condom factory as well as Willie Wanker's own personal exclusive love slave, as Willie was tired of Wanking. Charlie is upset as that would mean leaving his beloved sheep behind..as well as his beloved sheep's behind, therefore he declines..Willie realises the importance of sheep and shifts his line to the dairy industry...Willie, Charlie and Dolly live happily until the sequel.

Australopithecus tries to act intellecshual.

After a long discourse that started from string theory and was skilfully guided by various people to this zoological discussion on a certain man's hypothetical cat, who was half alive and half dead at the same time. Then onto the many worlds interpretation. Whereupon I jumped up and cried in excitement...So that means if there are n possible outcomes, there are also n parallel universes where each event definitely occurs? Boletho I don't have to back the right horse for the Deccan Derby, just the right universe to run it in?

If looks could kill!

...In a related story. Werner Heisenberg was once pulled over for driving too fast. When they asked him "do you know how fast you were going!". He said " No, but I know where I am".

Sutti.

( Disclaimer: Not like Thor's hammer...)


It is all a matter of perspective...
Remember the story of the little boy who stuck his finger where it did not belong and hence saved Holland from floods?
In Holland they call you a hero for sticking your finger in a dyke. In the U.S they would call you a sex offender for the same.

Someone came to my blog looking for "Lanja Rambha"...Talk about casting aspersions (on my charachter, i meant, who cares about Rambha). Let me clarify. This blog is named "Thus Spake Australopithecus" and not "Mehandi Galli (now on information super-highway)", "Star Whores" or ever "whore ni amma!" and name is not Pori Seenu, Gowliguda Ganesh.

In my day back in prehistory we didn't have whores. We didn't need them. We had clubs.

A stitch in time.....messes with the gravitational field.
Whereas a Stich in 1991 won Wimbledon.
A Stich with thyme serves nine...cannibals?

O.k. That was too much even for me!